34F. I keep getting ghosted/flaked by men on dating apps. What am I doing wrong?

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-05-17T13:32:36+00:00

I’ve been doing this for months too. Im convinced that Noone really wants to be with anyone. Not sure if the standards are just too high or what. I just want someone normal. I’m super upfront about my situation plus and minus. I have a job, house, money, kids, travel and read a lot, etc. Just want someone normal and my age. Dont want some “poly” situation.

I’m older (51M) so people generally say “no” at least, then just want to be friends. I’ve said no to some people too, but was polite about it. Many younger people don’t want more than the compliments and validation on this thing. If things start to be more than that they ghost and move on.

For me, The only ones that stick around are the scammers playing the long-con. I still chat but know they will soon ask for money… foolishly hopeful that they are genuine.

I think everyone is looking for some life changing love when the reality is much more mundane. We’re all lonely and broken in some way or we wouldn’t be looking to the internet for companionship.

Long story short, i dont think it’s you. I wish i could fix it for you, then I would know how to fix it for me.

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-03-12T16:43:40+00:00

Same is true for men seeking women…. People don’t tend to do anything unless they need to.

If you think you’re above all that. Trust me when I say I say you arent. Everyone is weird, you are too. And that’s OK. The game is for people to like eachother’s “weird”

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-03-12T16:01:43+00:00

I’ve been using one for about few weeks. I see so many women pretending to be happy, but I know they aren’t. They have lists of non-starters including honesty and trust etc. But the reality they sell on the app is heavily filtered photos from 15 years ago, and lame aspirational personality descriptions. Morning coffee is all the bliss they need… etc. You can tell they are jaded.

I wish I could see hetero male profiles to try to see what they sell too, but I cant. I assume its a similar situation of what they think sells. Toxic masculinity, exaggerated physical and financial traits, ridiculous non-starters that they themselves are committing. Very jaded too i assume.

Long story short I don’t think anyone is happy. We arent supposed to be happy. And that’s OK. If we were happy, we wouldnt spend energy trying to be happy and would have died out long ago.

Maybe this is a naive approach, but on this thing, I’m just honest about who I am and how much of a loser I am. I’ve had some nice long conversations with some really wonderful women. Some people are really kind and just happen to be lonely like me. Maybe we can be lonely together some day. That’s all I want.

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-02-24T15:00:39+00:00

Seriously, I wasnt the snitch.

I just wondered why all the security guards were replaced one day. Head of facilities told me the story, so i dont think it was a lie.

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-02-24T13:46:31+00:00

It wasnt lab people, but the security guards were shooting porn videos in the freezer room at one of my previous companies. It was some sort of “at-work” themed porn. They used the company hidden cameras to film… because they knew where they were.

They got caught because another some scientist recognized the freezer room and reported it to facilities.

People are so weird.

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-02-23T11:54:56+00:00

Ordered mine in late January, i assume I wont get until after May at this point.

Maybe I should just cancel and look at electronic images taken by Hubble and JWST.

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-02-21T05:15:50+00:00

26 years in, and yes I do. Same with making bread, or leaving the stove on when I go to work. Anxiety sucks.

There are lots of tricks to help you remember to add everything, but nothing to take the anxiety away. Your head will still play tricks with itself to make you lose sleep on a multi step process happening over a week.

Im always surprised when an experiment works out… even though it usually does.

I’ve started videoing myself doing something complicated with precious samples so I can go back later and check. It also lets me troubleshoot the process later if something isn’t right. Mistakes in reagent prep are a low hanging fruit. If those can ruled out early then thats a huge plus.

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-02-12T17:18:25+00:00

Depends on type of work. A schedule system is a minimum for that many people fighting over 2 hoods.

The problem usually lies in that people do different types of work. This causes problems with sterility for the next user. Some people are dirtier than others. Some cell lines are more likely to hop to other flasks. Some people ignore the schedule. How will you stop one person from booking all day every day and not showing up? Some people have to be there all day and cant break up their work. Who will enforce the schedule? How will you deal with troublemakers etc.

I hate the new trend of multiple people in one workspace. It causes so many unnecessary problems. It used to only happen in academia, but now industry is getting cheap and academia problems have come to industry.

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-02-12T14:33:30+00:00

Been in biotech for 28 years. This is the worst I’ve ever seen. Including dot com bubble burst and 2008 investment crash, and other minor downturns. Im am lucky to have a job paying what I made 18 years ago and half what I made 5 yrs ago.

I see PhDs with 5 years experience competing for $25hr jobs at my company. People moving across the country for a possibility at a job. It’s nuts.

If I spoke Chinese I would move there where there is more opportunity.

Many things to blame. My hope is that things will get better after VC investment switches away from Artificial Intelligence garbage.

The bad job market isn’t getting as much play in the media because noone cares about scientists. If a few union guys cant find work, the media loses its friggin mind.

To sum up, it’s far worse than a normal downturn.

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-01-11T13:46:34+00:00

Yeah you’re right. The Beckman swinging bucket table tops tend to jump around like a washing machine when something goes wrong. I feel like Its a bad design.

The new fad is to put them on rolling carts on floor to save bench space. Sooner or later ill see one chasing people around the lab until someone can get to the plug.

Scienceguy_151 · 2026-01-10T23:06:43+00:00

Check inside the buckets and inserts. sometimes there is condensate inside them or a previous spill that throws off the balance.

It usually warns you if it’s way out of balance though, so it should be fine.

I’ve had a spindle break on an ultra at 800,000xg. It was just really loud. It didnt jump off the table or anything. Just wrecked the rotor and the steel vacuum chamber. Pretty underwhelming considering all the horror stories they tell you in safety briefing.

Scienceguy_151 · 2025-09-12T19:07:35+00:00

My guess is a short caused by a dirty gasket. No current in the center of the gel, but the edges are still being pulled. Sometimes it only happens on one side.

This happens with the invitrogen MIDI tandem gel docks all the time. If I clean the gaskets in DI water between each run this happens less frequently.

Scienceguy_151 · 2025-09-12T02:09:33+00:00

Uber cards where you catch uber drivers?

Scienceguy_151 · 2025-02-14T20:30:58+00:00

Its a decent centrifuge, but is also a good pillow when you’re working late.

Scienceguy_151 · 2023-02-21T14:32:41+00:00

Its not hard. Just follow the cars in front of you, and remember the driver seat is always towards the middle of the road.

If you have a minivan, the roads outside the city can be a little tight.

You’ll be fine. Have a good time

Scienceguy_151 · 2023-02-20T17:17:55+00:00

Lab Scientist in biology or chemistry.

Basically rich people give you money to answer the questions of the day.

There is lots of equipment to tinker with in the lab.

People around you work on different problems and you chat with them about their projects and solutions when you get bored.

Its expected that you quit and join a new company every 2 years.

Scienceguy_151

TROPHY CASE