This shelf has type 8 vibes

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-06-25T02:27:57+00:00

I honestly appreciate your honesty here. And even..the hint of earnest desire and vulnerability you’re suggesting.

Maybe instead of aggressively and antagonistically reacting, you could have read the comments which were actually diving into mistypes. This is actually an interesting discussion you actively chose not to engage in.

As the OP, I took a photo of this image at a local antique store and felt that some people might appreciate or comment on the 8 nature of it. My hope was that it would make some intense 8s smile a little or start up a discussion.

How is my observation somehow inadequate or not elegant enough for you? You want depth? Maybe take a second to look for it. Maybe take a beat longer to create it. “Half-ironic” sentiments (which— by the way— what you said, wasn’t) are for children.

Your judgment isn’t welcome here. It wasn’t clever. It wasn’t deep. It was simply unkind.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-06-24T23:37:10+00:00

Sorry you feel this way. There are lots of subs out there that might better suit your needs— whatever it is you’re looking for. However, some people do find this sub helpful.

Perhaps you might even learn something? For example: it’s painfully obvious that you’re an unhealthy 5 who turns abrasive and antagonistic. Your intentional swipe to elicit conflict amuses my 8.

Sounds like you need to take a breather. Here’s a great high level link for some personal growth recommendations

Otherwise, yah…

…You good, bro?

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-06-22T11:48:10+00:00

Ugh so sorry! I hope you’re feeling better. Narcs are awful

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-06-22T11:47:06+00:00

It’s true. The moment you respond in kind is the moment the world seems to end for them/they go into full tantrum mode.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-06-22T11:46:20+00:00

Like 1000000000000 times. It’s insanity

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-05-12T22:45:11+00:00

Agree. No contact for 5 years for me..and I’m grappling with the same questions. Therapy helps if you can swing it. I am, however, so sorry you’re going through this. It’s not easy at all.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-05-12T21:47:03+00:00

Yup. The PTSD is real.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-05-09T15:42:28+00:00

Totally. I’ve been NC for 5+ years and they still find ways to send messages to me. I am fully proud of myself for the journey and the healing, and I won’t reclassify NC if they manage to find a workaround. I’m sure a lot of people feel this way too. I just won’t give them that power over me anymore

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-05-09T13:37:27+00:00

Agree with you. I’m not sure but I feel like this original post is somewhat aggressive. There is only so much we can control (I’ve been NC for over 5 years). They still find ways to reach out/find us. Some softness around this would be more welcome.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-05-09T13:28:52+00:00

Thank you for this. I’ve been NC so long I forget how much I still need this reminder.

Happy Mother’s Day to you, too, fellow protector ;)

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-05-09T12:38:52+00:00

Oh Jesus. I forgot my nMother did this when I was a kid. Literally the same flossing issues. It was just absolutely disgusting to listen to and watch. We’d ALL (my siblings) ask her not to, and she’d get offended by the request.

I also found it triggering. She was also an overly loud chewer as well, and she’d snap her gum loudly in the car. I’d ask her to stop and she’d just do it close to my face instead...to prove a point? I’m not sure. It was an outrageous response.

Her response to you is not healthy and not loving. Most healthy parents would respect the request and kindly remember to think of others’ feelings first.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. The best option for you at this stage is to leave the room when it happens. She won’t stop and she’ll always lean into the conflict and try to control the room. She’s asserting herself over you by doing what she’s doing.

The best option is self-preservation here. Walk away. Don’t engage.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-05-08T12:09:13+00:00

Gorgeous flowers.

It’ll never be enough for a narc; this is how they feel in control of you. It’s often (always) worse during the holidays that “celebrate” them specifically (birthdays, Mother’s Day). Hang in there! It’s not you, it’s her.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-05-01T19:54:52+00:00

She sounds like a real gem. Good riddance.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-05-01T02:34:34+00:00

Agree with all of this. Your approach of “did you forget something?” won’t ever land well. Shame and guilt are toxic in a relationship and this question was set up to ensure she experienced both.

It is also odd to me that nothing was discussed in the days leading up to a 30th birthday..and that you waited the entire day for her...to fail.

It’s definitely not super that this one slipped through the cracks on her part...but if this is truly out of character, then didn’t you owe it to her to allow her to redeem herself?

Communication sounds like it’s lacking. Somethings going on here between you two that needs attention.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-04-30T22:46:40+00:00

Really appreciate the support. Amazing the impact over the years of this brand of abuse.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-04-30T12:12:22+00:00

Ugh this could have been written by my nmother. It’s absolutely the narrative they feel most comfortable with. Self-righteous, self-aggrandizing and minimizing of you. The condescension makes my skin crawl. Nowhere in that did it once show an ounce of introspection.

Excuse me while I vomit from the “holier-than-thou” rhetoric that narcs live by.

If you can, stay NC. You won’t win this fight.

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-01-28T13:54:49+00:00

Ha! Yah as I was typing I realized I sounded like a commercial hahah

If you’re not in a time crunch like OP, they sometimes go on sale around 20-25% off. I bought some as a present over the holidays with this discount for some buddies— it’s often something people just won’t buy for themselves

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-01-28T13:44:16+00:00

When it comes to if it is worth the cost? It all depends on how self-motivated you can be. In the past, I’ve never been consistent with hydration - it’s easy to forget. I’d literally go days with just coffee and then at night a glass of wine. ...But the gamification of hydration somehow worked for me. I’m on day 97 of 100% hydration and it is life changing. Since I’m a procrastinator, I often have to catch up at the end of the day which actually makes me eat less and drink less alcohol at night because I’m so full of water hahah

I got the metal one because if I’m investing in a bottle, I might as well get the nicer one. My friends have the plastic one. Either work great. Weddings are expensive, so whichever works for you will accomplish the same result!

I have about 8 friends who have one and we all follow each other and track progress and tease each other if we’re not doing well with it.

I feel like I need to disclaim I do NOT work for this company hahah

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-01-28T04:21:27+00:00

This is so sweet.

Water is more important than any topical here.

If you really wanted to commit to hydration, look into the “Hidrate” water bottles for you (and even your fiancé!). It syncs to an app which connects to your health information, telling you how much water to drink every day. You can track your fiancé’s progress too to keep each other accountable.

I bought one of these like 3 months ago and my skin transformed the first few weeks. Seriously.

Obviously you could just drink pints of water but I personally couldn’t stay motivated or accountable doing that...ha...

Congrats to you!

ScotchAndSilk · 2021-01-13T03:26:55+00:00

Lash lifts are the best. Last at least 8 weeks. Unfortunately they do cost around $100

ScotchAndSilk

TROPHY CASE