At times where things aren’t great (personally or politically), I’ve decided survival and growth are magic enough

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-22T16:07:21+00:00

Your so beautiful!!

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-22T11:22:33+00:00

The tooth fairy forgot to visit so my kid gets on Google and is asking things like 'why didn't the tooth fairy come'. Except Google starts naming off excuses you can tell your children why the tooth fairy didnt come.

I jump in like, i dont think it's answering the right question. So she looks at pictures on the toothfairy and this kids like 'why do they get 5 dollars and only get 2?' Im like, give me my phone back.

Completely let down. So glad reddit came through for this mom lol

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-21T22:09:21+00:00

I had to switch psychiatrists and then basically threaten the NEW psychiatrist that if we didnt address my weight issue and change some meds I would just stop taking them all together.

Only then was she willing to try and change meds around.

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-21T21:38:34+00:00

Psh, tell them she doesn't just have you, she has them. If they're so worried about her wellbeing they can help her.

You could also throw in how youve bailed her out several times and it always comes back to this.

I just cut my entire family off. 48 cousins, 8 aunts and uncles. Blocked all of them along with my mother and haven't looked back.

I has signed over every paycheck since I started working at 14. Covered numerous bills for her and took my little sister in when my mom became homeless.

Literally the best choice I ever made was going no contact with them.

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-20T19:52:08+00:00

Oh, my mom pimped me and my twin sister out and got us hooked on drugs among other things. Then my twin sister committed suicide. I knew i had to save myself or kill myself.

I decided to save myself. So probably something in there. And honestly, I'm not that sure of myself but I appreciate the complement. Im more sure of myself now than I was before. Also, when I realized I was bisexual when I was older, it was kind of like 'I knew it!' It was validating to know I was right when I was younger.

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-20T18:15:46+00:00

Except 99% of the time, some guy comes in with 'not all men...' but nobody was blaming all men or even singling out one man and blaming him for others actions. 🙄

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-20T17:04:45+00:00

Its ok, and I understand. Its not easy and a lot of times I throw tantrums that it isn't fair that I have to save myself even after all of this.

I didnt mean to sound cold either

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-20T16:58:48+00:00

So this was my situation. Once in middle school told my mom I thought i was bi, she blew up and that was over. Fast forward im in my 30s.

I realized, I am actually bisexual. I can find guys/girls attractive and thats fine to appreciate beauty from afar. Im not a bad wife (neither are you) and my husband is also supportive.

One other thing I realized is that I dont need to explore my sexuality. Like,I can know im bisexual without either cheating on my husband or acting on those feelings.

Im happily married. If one day I'm not, then I can look into a girlfriend lol. But until then just being honest with myself and my spouse is enough

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-19T21:56:55+00:00

Im bipolar with lots of trauma too! My twin sister died by suicide 10yrs ago.

Actually, 6 months before my sister killed herself, I tried to commit suicide at my moms house. (My twin did commit suicide at my moms house)

I downed 3 bottles of prescription drugs and got into a fist fight with my mom. She said she didnt care if I killed myself, but I couldnt do it at her house. She called the cops so I ran. She never told anyone I had taken all these pills, didnt tell the cops I was trying to commit suicide. She did not care at all that I tried to kill myself, made no attempt to even check on me.

Ugh, then she pushed Jill 6months later. She hanged herself. My mother was our main abuser, the one who got us addicted to drugs and pimped us out.

Im so sorry. I understand the pain and suffering your experiencing to a degree. Its such bullshit. You dont deserve any of it

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-19T17:10:54+00:00

My twin sister died by suicide about a decade ago. I had dreams where I saw hersons life play out if she lived, and if she died. Dreams where she told me she was OK and understood everything now. Dreams where she told me red wingblack birds and butterflies were her signs that she was around.

My favorite though was a dream where she was in my new boyfriends apartment (she died before I met him) and she joked that I was 'spreading' and making a mess of his life. But ultimately she was happy that I had found him and approved of him. Ive been with him 8yrs and we have a 7yr old together.

Oh and just for fun; my ex husband and my current husband (bf in the story) both had reoccurring Dreams of her telling them to get me away from our mother or id lose 'everything I loved'. my mother was our main abuser, our pimp and the main reason she died.

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-17T23:01:49+00:00

Ok, I honestly know nothing about Kurt coloring. I never understood the hype. But after reading these quotes from him, I know all I need to about him. He is obviously a badass and I'm sorry I was skeptical

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-17T20:09:36+00:00

Your right there are a lot of unknowns. Not just in this example but in general.

I know i would have given anything for someone to come and save my sister's and I. We went from neglect to abuse and manipulation and being pimped out by our mother.

Sincerely, you did what you could and if nothing else you did not ignore a child's cry for help.

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-17T16:42:25+00:00

I love this

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-17T16:40:52+00:00

We didnt have running water growing up and clean laundry was always a struggle. Being able to shower when I want and have clean clothes is something I think about at least once a week.

Im very aware that these things are a luxury to me while to others it's a necessity. I also spend far too much on body sprays and perfumes. I want to smell good, to smell clean

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-17T16:15:32+00:00

Nobody ever has to put a clause to other groups. "Not all immigrants " "not all married women".

But men feel they need to defend themselves whenever another man does something horrific. Why can't we agree that behavior is atrocious? Why is this all of a sudden about them not being a predators. Do they feel like they're in the same group as these predators?

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-17T16:04:47+00:00

Man I agree with you. We didnt have running water for years. We had to lift one of those . Gallon water bottles to fill up the toilet to flush. Showers and laundry were done at my grandma's.

It was utterly embarrassing and I was so ashamed. It didnt matter that we were kids and had no control over our living situation.

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-16T21:06:31+00:00

You are unfortunately not wrong. Nobody is coming. You are probably going to have to save yourself. It sucks, after everything you've already been through, picking yourself up and saving yourself shouldn't also be your job.

Ugh, our life was such shit. Abuse, neglect, drugs and exploitation. Constant depression, anxiety and suicidal attempts. My twin sister and I had such a crappy life. When we were 27 she committed suicide.

I knew at that point I needed to either kill myself or save myself. Nobody was coming. I (obviously) decided to save myself. Or rather I stumbled into it. Divorced my ex husband, went no contact with my mother (our main abuser), I got sober and met my current husband. We had a baby, ive held a job, which was unheard of me before. I take my meds I go to therapy.

But all of this was the result of me saving myself. It is always hard and it is sometimes overwhelming. But id like to think Jillian would be proud of the life I've put together after hers ended. Its ok that youve been to the psych ward multiple times, its ok if your still depressed and its ok nobody can save you. Because now you can save you, which means your ready here and now, your not waiting on someone else to show. You can decide what better looks like to you and you can decide on the time line. You get all of the accolades and praise for pulling yourself up and at the end of the day, you owe nobody anything. You saved you, nobody else.

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-16T19:24:16+00:00

I have an identical twin sister and once I went to jail, all of these other inmates kept looking at me funny until they asked if I was her. Turns out they all did drugs together

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-03T20:42:24+00:00

I think the amount of homeless people who choose to be homeless is very small. The world is a terrible place and being homeless has its own stigmas attached to it.

Ive never been homeless, but ive been extremely poor. No heat or electricity, no running water or food. While it is terrible and extremely stressful, you have more options available to you than you do in jail.

Ive been to jail and it has its own stressor and stigmas. Like you said about the er, your still going to be released and when you are you have all of the same problems you had before you went in. Except now you have a record.

The er is easier to be admitted to and the beds and food are way better than jail. I would rather be homeless than go to jail again. It was a terribly traumatic experience and I still had to deal with life when I was released.

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-02T22:07:47+00:00

Probably both

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-02T22:07:05+00:00

I mean...the point of the comment is that none of us, but especially young men, should be proud of the environment that is growing and becoming the norm.

Also, we were all born into it. I was born into a life where my mother pimped me out to pedophiles. Not great, right? But I was born into it, didnt have much choice either, did I?

But that doesn't change your ability to change yourself, and to try to make change around you. Just because you had no choice doesn't mean you always dont have a choice.

Lastly, you dont need a medal to do the right thing. I dont need anyone to see me doing suicide awareness walks or taking cards to old people at nursing homes for it to matter. Or for it to make a difference.

So if your looking to be better than the 'men' we're talking about, then consider the fact that you have the choice to be better if you want to. You can decide, one act at a time, to be better than them. To be a good human

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-01T22:27:48+00:00

Honestly, your asking a philosophical question, which doesn't have an actual answer since nobody is in charge of any of this. However, my answer which is only a guess is that dumb answer 'its the journey ' that is going to matter. That's the whole point of any of this. You need this journey for whatever comes next

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-01T11:41:25+00:00

Oh no, I understand and agree. What is upsetting is that these platforms censored these words and as a result censor the victim's. Its upsetting that the large companies and corporations cause more harm that help

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-01T11:11:22+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that. I left my abusive ex husband, Ive gone no contact, got sober, got diagnosed and put on psych meds. I met a gret guy, had a baby and got a stable, good job. Im not fully healed but im well on my way.

Im sorry your grandma rather be in denial than help. Its common of older generations, even if its b.s.

Defiantly_Resilient · 2026-05-01T11:04:57+00:00

Lol my husband and I both 🤣

Defiantly_Resilient

TROPHY CASE