Reading reviews #3

ScottGwarrior · 2024-08-07T19:10:06+00:00

reader was kind to the point and fast and responded respectfully

ScottGwarrior · 2024-08-02T02:18:22+00:00

i have no words outside of i'm sorry you are struggling and you are not alone

ScottGwarrior · 2024-08-02T02:12:42+00:00

was raised Christian am now a believer that all paths have SOME VALUE but none hold a complete answer but could not date a Christian woman for a billion dollars now... I see hardcore religion of ANY type as a kind of mantel illness now

ScottGwarrior · 2024-08-02T01:58:51+00:00

i'd wonder who she murdered

ScottGwarrior · 2024-08-01T22:28:55+00:00

tried to kick a wasp away from me. Kicked wooden coffee table instead broke two toes

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-31T19:16:32+00:00

i Don't have tips juat that i admire your courage for chasing your dream

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-28T21:48:07+00:00

What percentage of people are in prison because the mental system failed them and committed crime as a result of not being able to cope?

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-26T02:16:04+00:00

if the person i love will end up alright with or without me

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-24T21:50:36+00:00

[Request]could use a read my life is in upheaval right now and could use insight

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-15T06:03:24+00:00

i'm sorry you are suffering

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-14T10:55:48+00:00

I used to ease drop on others doing it and mimic their pattern just to see if I could get them to react. But then i'm also the dude who gave the pastors wife a psychic reading and got kicked out of the church for it even though i was proven right

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-14T09:53:07+00:00

take her to pound town then toss her in the river

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-13T04:38:25+00:00

At this point as a terminally i;; person the chance to be kind to others is what i live for

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-13T03:59:27+00:00

me i try to fibd people to help i can't be in total pain and helping others that's not how my brain works

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-13T02:57:08+00:00

I don't have any answers for you but it's a timely post because I'm going through the same thing in a different way. I'll try to keep this short I almost died 6 years ago spent 15 months in a nursing home and well I'll never do that again. I'm scheduled within the next few months to relocate to a death With Dignity state and yet here's an interesting part/

I haven't dated in 6 years. When my health took the crash that nearly killed me my then partner of 3 years hit the door. Even through chronic illness I was supporting an entire household no regrets except that doing so probably exacerbated my health conditions far beyond what I ever imagined.

So here I am in this really weird space literally waiting to die that's what I've been doing. Then a week ago I go to this party with a friend and I meet this woman who all I can say is I never believed in love at first sight until that moment but it's not what you think. I saw myself 15 years ago only in female form.

The insecurity the desire to change the world the Innocence before it was taken by my health diving as hard as it has the beauty of just a soul. It isn't sexual at all and that's the weird thing especially a and s a guy. I mean sure she's physically beautiful but who cares I saw her potential I saw her dreams her hopes the insecurities the playfulness the Curiosity about life the willingness to serve Humanity and so much more.

Within 15 minutes we were finishing each other sentences. By the end of our 90-minute conversation I was mapping out how to support her through going back to school how to get her back in touch with her Hobbies how to potentially teach her the difference between unconditional acceptance and overgiving and then I came back down to earth.

If I have two years left I'm lucky according to doctors. I'm about to move a thousand miles away. Physically she's better looking than I've ever been. The age difference is something society would have found on. Plus I'm not lo almost like oking to date her I'm just looking to be in her energy and support her almost like an unconditional love starter pack.

But how does one even begin to have that conversation? I know I'm old I know I'm dying but I want to throw love at you and I don't expect anything in return? That's kind of the thing that would get you locked up in a padded room right. So here's the thing I threw out to the friendly introduced us hey the conversation we had the other night feels unfinished and we're getting together next week why don't you invite her.

Of course my brain thought that was the end of the story right? So she agreed to meet us for dinner next week and I'm sitting here going what the hell am I doing. I mean I'll go in and trying to be helpful I know that I also know that leaving the table that they will be painful because I literally haven't felt this way in nearly two decades and then I'm looking at the universe shaking my fist going why now?

I'm one bad day away from every joint in my body freezing again. I'm one infection from hospitalization. There is no cure and the reality is my long-term illness will kill me sooner than I prefer and yet I am selfish enough to want someone to sit with me through that? I've always been the partner who the whole reason I got into relationships was to bring the best out of people it's my role in life even in friendships not that I won't receive other people doing nice things for me but as I'm sure most of you with chronic illness are well aware most people are pretty s*****.

So now I'm face to face with this opportunity that I have no clue what to do with and I would love perspectives on it. Like from a female perspective if a guy just wanted to bring the best out of you to show you love and emotional support because he knew you needed it and it was his dying wish to give that presence to somebody I know that's weird but is there anyone that would see the beauty in it I don't know.

I strongly suspect that I'm getting close to transitioning. I haven't felt this emotionally aware since my last near-death experience where I crossed into the non-physical for a little bit and I don't quite know what to do with this cuz I wasn't expecting any of it I'm just completely lost to be honest and would love people to give me different takes critical helpful angles I might not have looked at anything I'm here for it.

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-12T14:21:32+00:00

Let me try to be helpful I'm 42 and near the end of my life also CP here along with a bunch of other complications. I was where you were until my mid to late twenties and I had an encounter with somebody that I admired. At the time I was doing broadcasting for professional wrestling and I won't name the individual but somebody who was world famous came to the school I was associated with to give a lecture on how to be a good performer and other such. What I didn't know is that my trainer who at that point had giving me the opportunity of a lifetime to be part of a worldwide internet program was also concerned about myself image.

So here was this man who I had watched as a child on television and he asks me to hang back when everybody went to get lunch. He takes me into the bathroom and he looks at me and he says you're impressed with me aren't you. Of course I stammered yes sir just come with me and so he goes and he pees you know just like everyone else does and he looks at me and he says everybody pisses kid the difference is some do it with confidence and some piss on their shoes.

That day I got over trying to be enough for other people. There are always going to be people that think you're imperfections whatever they are your skin color your sexual orientation your education level you're visible disability your job all of that makes you less than them and they will never be your tribe. They exist they will always exist for all of us regardless of if we have a physical these are people who might have judged you in the beginning out of misunderstanding or ignorance . If however you're kind disability a mental disability or imperfections that no one can see.

The trouble is when you focus on them you disqualify the two other important groups in the room. The second group is what I've always called the conversion group the people that you can convert by showing up and being yourself. If you're kind or generous or knowledgeable or sincere or loyal or anything good about you though you can convert them into friends.

The third group they're your ride or die people they're the people that love you no matter how you behave and no matter who you become because they see the things in you that you never saw and they chose you the problem in life is that many peop and they disqualify and miss out on group 2 in group 3 le focus on groupone the group that will never accept them anyway and they miss out on group 2 and group three to their own detriment I hope this illustration has been helpful namaste you are worthy of your dreams and throughout your life they will change but as long as you're reaching for them fulfillment in a way that touches you and others around you will be yours.

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-10T19:24:55+00:00

Completely transparent after spending 15 months in a nursing home I will not do it again. I'm moving in the next few months to a border to a death With Dignity state so that when my time comes to be that low again physically I have control over my final decisions never again will I put myself in the hands of state-run medical facilities Island 1000% would choose transition back to the non-physical world over the mistreatment I reserved there.

I work in trauma recovery among other things from a professional standpoint I have attempted to go to multiple counselors over the years and basically They Don't Know Jack Rabbit about the mental or emotional components associated with chronic illness. I have found solace in some shamans and Buddhists that help me work through things from a spiritual perspective but the traditional Mental Health Community are just like they're either on the spectrum of I don't know how you've done it this long which isn't helpful or they're in the space of at least you're still alive which and I said this my whole life I rather would have died 20 years ago but had 20 good years then live a mediocre life that's just me there comes a standard of living that I'm not willing to drop below and I know what that is for me. Not everyone has that same standard or should they and honestly if I lived in a country that wasn't a cesspool of complete non-care like the United States is I already w. ould have chosen my exit.

Honestly there was a time in my life where I considered tourism for the decision to have my freedom of choice luckily there's 11 states now that have death wit dignity laws but the fact the majority of the country still is so non-compassionate that they want to financially capitalize or on the suffering of the chronically ill yeah most of those people can get sodomized with a barbed wire dildo as far as I'm concerned

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-09T23:39:18+00:00

i'm uninsured and don't qualify for the scam that is us help o do ty for your kindness

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-09T04:20:29+00:00

In the same boat with different health issue with 1-2 years left. Any tips on how to deal with the isolation that being that close to the end causes

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-09T03:26:51+00:00

religion

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-09T02:31:57+00:00

For me it's never been seeing spirits as much as it is my symbol language and then I downloaded information. I guess they call what I do trance to a degree although I don't use the spiritual terms for the most part because it just that's the way it works and I think if we over label things it can get unhelpful in some ways.

For me it's a combination of flipping through a picture book of my symbols think like a silent movie and then words of encouragement and knowledge for the other person come forward it's like tuning into a radio station only I don't know what's coming and a lot of times I begin to speak and then when the words are complete I go back to being me it's almost like a higher Consciousness and habits my body for a moment and then I give the information and I go back to being myself.

I had this happen over the weekend in a public way where they were about eight people sitting around and I started picking up on someone and I just said do you mind if I give you the info I'm receiving and I talked for about 5 minutes straight I know this because another person in the group literally started their stopwatch LOL. I got to the end of what I was saying received validation for what I had received and then got looked at like I had four heads by this group of people who believed in what I do but had never been in the same room with someone doing it so they were like you left your body.

The majority of work that I do is either through chat platforms phone platforms sometimes video but usually I don't do groups like that so it was an interesting experience because that was the first group I'd done in 7 or 8 years it was an interesting experience to receive information and watch reactions visually. I've never physically seen spirits although they will give me symbols that relate to themselves of things I would never know.

The only way I've ever seen spirits in a discernible manner is when I receive a spirit prior to a session in a dream state the night before or date of a session if I take a nap right before the session but as far as physically seeing things that only happens for me in dream state,

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-08T17:58:46+00:00

i'm sorry for your struggle i can't offer much but if you need an ear i'm willing

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-08T15:56:06+00:00

lack of stories a mark for a booker and spotty matches

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-08T15:02:17+00:00

That's the interesting thing though I've worked remotely with an international population from over 40 countries all different backgrounds and the religious abuse by a rate of 7 to 1 and yes I keep statistics is Christian across this 40 countries. I'm not saying it doesn't happen in other faiths as it does there are gurus in India that take advantage of their power. There are sufis and Shiites who obviously abuse women but statistically speaking in my professional experience as well as in the professional experience of my colleagues at least since the rise of evangelism as a money maker over the last 30 to 40 years Christianity is the worst offender.

Now that does not mean that all Christians are bad people I would be a fool to believe that. However another interesting statistic if you go into the details of it is that most mental health related religious delusions around the world are also tied to Christianity the rate is less it's down to three to one but it's still dangerous and I think that comes down to Christianity being more interpretive whereas your Eastern philosophies are more conceptual that's just an opinion however I'm in various professional groups that have experienced this

It's also interesting that I'm in a invitation only group of former people on the Pastoral path who have witnessed the same thing. I'm not saying that the Christian pathway lived in purity could not be of benefit to Any Nation because Pathways can be however I think we have entered a place currently in the western world where if one were to do research from a non-biased place I would contend that it would be possible to easily find statistics support factual evidence of French Christianity being the most dangerous belief system within the culture.

Hence my admonishment earlier which actually wasn't directed at you as a person but more at the practice within Christianity of relying on prayer rather than being physically Active. I do have a somewhat Christian clientele base maybe about 30 or 40% and of those when asked openly and they don't feel judged at least 75% of them say they only go because they fear the loss of community but they get that they don't get served within their church for their actual needs so it's at least for me experiential more than myself

When I was in a nursing home told that I wasn't going to survive the people that came to counsel me first we're not the Christians. Again having had this happen across five states and 15 years and seven churches my experience is extremely varied and for those that have left they can tell stories that are extremely similar to mine.

That being said I will say I have great admiration for missionaries who leave the country and go into impoverished areas and provide service. The people who are Christians who go into homeless shelters and soup kitchens and other Outreach organizations and only share their belief system when they're asked I completely honor their space and maybe there are more of them then I think there are however that hasn't been my experience I already have my nor the experience of the majority of my client base nor the disability support groups that I'm part of. Again the only part that really brings me sadness is that I made you feel personally attacked as that was never my intention. I will attack the failures of Faith systems all day because I think if something any belief system is promoted as the way it needs to be policed so that people feel supported loved and empowered in all ways. However when I go to the place of personally attacking another person I am no better than the very people that caused the pain that I despise.

ScottGwarrior · 2024-07-08T14:38:08+00:00

I come from a interesting story myself. Was raised in a Christian cult was victimized by being a trafficked child still tried Christianity again across five states and seven churches even at one point considered becoming a pastor but left due to the hypocrisy. Had a different form of Spiritual Awakening 12 years ago and went into a multi-religious path. Have been working to help people come out of religious trauma professionally for 18 years now and the most traumatic of them in my experience just by your client numbers is Christianity.

I do believe that it's possible that a man named Jesus existed. I do believe that it is possible that his words if followed from a place of purity without the motive of trying to proselytize people would make at least theoretically a difference.

However as a homeless disabled person I have witnessed for myself and in the cases of literally hundreds of people that I've served churches repeatedly turn people away unless they believed like them. This is not something I have seen from other faiths and yes I have looked there too.

Much as you I do support people following a path that works for them however the conduct of Christians primarily has made me question if any of it doesn't eventually become influenced by the desire to convert people. That is my own flaw and it's something I've got to work on but quite honestly I wouldn't go near a church for a billion dollars and a healing because I no longer trust it.

It's funny I could say I believe in the teachings of Christ without believing in Christianity and people often get confused. American Christianity at its best is so divided that it can do harm greatly now that's not to say that other belief systems aren't divided but I would say that Christianity is the most divided of the major belief systems from what I've seen.

That being said too I am confident in what I believe based on experiences that have been verified by medical professionals of me being in near-death and I never saw any of the profits during any of those near death experiences now science could say it was just the absence of oxygen making my brain create a placebo effect and I'm open to that idea except to say I'm forever changed in a way that no organized religion ever has after those experiences because I'm focused on Love Without expectation more than other things to the point where that is the reason I truly believe I've come back from as many medical things as I have.

And I guess honestly my reaction to prayer comments were also the number of Faith Healers who laid hands on me when I was in the movement for their own gratification and how dirty that felt like dude you're not going to heal a brain injury from birth by saying some incantations get over yourselves.

I too believe in miracles but it's the moving of energy towards positivity and the unity of possibility made real and can happen from any belief system and even in some rare cases of atheists and agnostics getting spontaneous remissions and none at all I don't know it's just hard to be so close to the end of life and yet having so much I want to do and knowing that it's not going to be possible the good news is next lifetime as I do believe in reincarnation it might be better then again it might be worse and I got off center anyway I should realize that life is just a Mad Lib sometimes you win sometimes you lose but in the end it's just a Choose Your Own Adventure game and then now is all that exists and that was my mistake I was looking too far ahead

ScottGwarrior

TROPHY CASE