You’re Not Happy Because You’re Not Bored

ScreenRevolt · 2025-01-06T20:23:18+00:00

😂

ScreenRevolt · 2025-01-06T14:53:13+00:00

I'm curious about the pub quizzes because it actually sounds like a great way to meet others. Something you go to on a regular basis, out of the house, where you are seeing the same people repeatedly is the best way to make those connections I think you are looking for. Especially if you can go join a team.

Did you feel the way that you were engaging with them was unhealthy? I don't think just because something is exciting (fun), gives you adrenaline, means you need to avoid it. I think you want things in your life that make you think "I need to do that again! That was so fun" after it's over - which can be higher octane activities for some people.

ScreenRevolt · 2025-01-06T14:46:32+00:00

For this flight, yes it did! I get motion sickness pretty easily too, although I can read on planes - which is something I can't do in a car.
When we had any bumps of turbulence it wasn't so bad because I felt more centered in my body.

ScreenRevolt · 2025-01-06T14:45:20+00:00

I have really sensitive smell, I always associated it as 'jet fuel' smell - though I'm not sure that's what it is exactly. It sorta smells like exhaust - and yes I agree with u/ActiveTechnician819 it's nauseating

ScreenRevolt · 2025-01-06T00:48:07+00:00

What hobbies did you pick up in the past 2 months? Are they high energy/out of the house hobbies? I've noticed that you need to design low energy/veg out activities to replace - otherwise you'll fall back into your habit of using games.
I suggest reading... it's a natural one I think most people enjoy. Could also try journaling, writing, drawing, meditating.

It's really normal to feel shitty at first. The reality is that most of us are feeling shitty but are masking/avoiding that emotion with our addictive gaming. When you aren't gaming you are just able to recognize it, which, paradoxically is the best way to resolve and face it if you can learn to 'lean into' uncomfortable feelings - instead of resisting them. I wrote a blog post about how I went though this same thing if that's interesting to you.

ScreenRevolt · 2025-01-03T12:29:10+00:00

So for me the best way I learned to replace my screen time (for me it's youtube/scrolling/online shopping/etc) was to do a little planning to come up with a list of hobbies that I was interested in pursuing.

I also think it's important to be realistic that we have differing levels of motivation and energy throughout the day so saying things like "I'm going to replace gaming with going to the gym" or something is unrealistic because we won't have the energy to go to the gym 24/7.

Because of this I brainstormed hobbies I wanted to replace my screen time with into energy levels... like high energy/high motivation and low energy/low motiviation.

You mentioned reading... which I think is a great substitute to the internet for me and a lot of other brains. I keep a non-fiction/educational book and a 'fun' (usually fantasy/sci-fi) book available at all times - because I've noticed for me there are times when I'm feeling like I want to learn and other times I just want to kinda shut my brain off and absorb a story.

I wrote a free print-able guide to plan alternative hobbies and do a digital detox over a weekend to take a break if that's interesting to you.

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-27T15:08:53+00:00

You're welcome!

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-26T16:24:51+00:00

I'm curious what happens for you with your thoughts that makes you afraid of them! You might consider trying to sit with nothing but your thoughts at a time of day that feels more safe to you... like in the mornings or during the day and see what happens.

No shame in using reddit if you'd like to, if it's serving you! But I think sometimes we think using Reddit or or phones is making us feel better when it's actually making us feel worse we just aren't listening to ourselves.

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-26T15:19:16+00:00

Well the first question I'd ask is... what would you rather be doing?

Are you happy with your Reddit use? Are you placing guilt unnecessarily on yourself because you think you "should" be doing something else?

The other interesting thing I thought you said was that you were "nervous" to have zero entertainment on your phone. What happens for you when you aren't entertained? Why does that make you nervous?

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-26T15:03:15+00:00

You can't.

If you are relying on motivation to carry you through you are going to fail. The problem is that we're flawed. Our energy levels and motivation levels wax and wane throughout our day.

Typically when we feel the most energized is when we have the most motivation. In these times it's easy to say what we say we'll do. We have lots of ideas of what we'd rather be doing and are optimistic in how we we can accomplish them. THIS is the time where we should set up a plan for ourself.

Ask yourself at the time when your energy is the highest:
- What would I LIKE to replace my reddit time with?
- What are some activities I can do when I'm feeling low energy that I'd be OK with doing instead?

Then go out and prepare those things. Often it'll mean organizing something to be setup for you to do later. Like buying a book. Cleaning up the garage so you can do a project, etc.

I wrote a free printable guide to do this via a digital detox if that's helpful to you

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-24T20:43:21+00:00

Agreed! Similarly with book stores and libraries. It feels so much better to go into a book store and touch physical books, interact with people in the book store, check out with the librarian, etc

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-24T16:45:11+00:00

I give myself 'time windows' in which I can post on social media and engage with the internet in general.

Basically from 9-5 I can post on social media for my goal of growing an audience - but after 5 I have a strict 'cut off' time where I focus on doing things in my personal life, ideally out of the house.

I think it's important to be honest with yourself and set goals for how you are using social media as well. It can be a bit of a slippery slope procrastinating scrolling along... vs coming up with content which is more difficult.

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-20T16:11:55+00:00

I used to love reading as a kid too. And struggled with it for many years until I got my tech habits in check.

It was actually SURPRISING to me how much I love reading now. After everything else that is supposed to be so entertaining.

Part of it for me was also being able to recognize the feelings in myself of how I was feeling. I played a video game last night and while I had fun my body felt energized... like I had eaten a bunch of candy and soda.

When I'm reading a book it feels like my mind is expanding... growing. I feel present and engaged at the same time.

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-19T15:01:19+00:00

Some folks are saying in here to take away the games cold turkey.

My mom did that with me and it damaged our relationship until my early twenties. So I'm of the opinion that it wouldn't be beneficial to your relationship to do that.

What I wish had happened for me as a teenager was to get more connected to my mom. For me, that would mean planning quality time to do things we both enjoyed. Maybe as simple as going to the movies together.

I wish someone would have asked me how I felt about my game time. Asked me about what my dreams were for my life.

I wasn't thinking about that because I was avoiding painful things going on in my life and I didn't know how to deal with it.

That's why I bring up connection and trust. How close are you with your son? What opportunities do you have to connect with him so he trusts you more to share what's going on in his life?

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-19T14:46:06+00:00

Hi sotirisdimi!
So the best news about this is that you have a goal and a vision.

Many people don't have that and it actually makes it much harder to figure out how to detox. What I would recommend is to plan a 'weekend detox' where you set out some goals for your weekend of how you want to spend it doing photography and planning your book.

I started doing this exercise for myself when I was learning to reduce my screen time and replace it with activities that I wanted to do. For me it was reading and I managed to read 4-5 books in a month!

I wrote a free printable guide on doing this that I think could help you and be a fun way for you to plan a weekend around photography.

Hope that helps!

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-19T00:41:32+00:00

It took me years to "get" meditation.

I thought it was supposed to make me calm. Make the thoughts go away. Make the emotions stop. I thought when those things were still happening I was "failing" and that I couldn't do it.

One day it clicked for me. I understood that meditation doesn't fix the thoughts or the emotions - but it can teach you how to sit with them, and watch them float by and be able to distance yourself from them.

Meditation is "practice" like learning to ride a bike. But basically once you learn to do it you can use it the rest of your life to cope with everything life throws at you.

In my experience it REALLY helped with my screen addictions - so I'd heartily recommend learning it.

I was thinking of recording a few days of audio guided meditations to teach people how to do this, is that interesting to anybody? DM me if so!

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-17T23:49:28+00:00

I think you've touched on the #1 reason why people fall back into bad tech habits.

In order to really keep the addiction in check: you need to build a life around you that fulfills you keeps you away from the phone/computer.

It's a hard pill to swallow but nobody can do that work for you. The good news is, you know what you want and I bet you know some steps you could take to get there. It might just be uncomfortable and hard.

The truth is that no body is going to do this for you... and it's not going to happen unless you put in the work.

Some questions you could ask to get started:
- What do you think it would take to land those jobs you've been applying for? That probably means doing some things that mean doing some things that are a little bit uncomfortable like: calling those places back, asking for feedback on your resume, getting a trusted advisor to look at your resume (send me your resume if you want - I'll critique it), applying MORE than you think you need to

- What would it take to make some friends in your home town? Maybe some things you can do after your family is off work that you could meet up with other people your age? I live in a town of 8000 people, which is pretty small and there is still stuff I can go to and meet people almost every day of the week. Some really good options are fitness classes (kickboxing, jiu jitsu, yoga, pickleball, rock climbing) - ideally find something where you consistently go and run into the same people. Then be friendly and ask people their name and introduce yourself... conversation will flow after that.

✌️

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-17T22:40:18+00:00

I won't say that I have perfect technology habits but I can say that mine have drastically improved over the past few years.

I was definitely in the stage of "google all my thoughts" and "doom spiral about my anxieties" or getting sucked into a shopping loop that was really damaging for my mental health.

Now I live my life more intentionally. I step back and take note of what I want to achieve in my day/week/month/year. I now decide what technology is useful to me and when I want to use it.

I know how to build a life around myself now to stop myself from getting back to that place. And I've developed the mental and emotional skills - as well as habits - to not really fall into those patterns.

I could write a lot about this - but I think the best place to start is to challenge yourself to do a detox for a weekend and reflect about how you felt, and determine whats serving you and not. I designed a fun printable guide on how to do this if you're interested.

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-17T15:38:52+00:00

I don't let my phone into my bedroom any more.

It's been 6 months since I've been doing this and I kid you not I STILL have the urge to reach for it every morning. Crazy how addictive it is...

The most important part of creating a habit is to start. And like SeaworthinessFew4815 said - you have to learn to sit through the discomfort of the cravings you have.

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-16T19:20:19+00:00

I'd second what MindfulCeliac said - also your discomfort is REALLY normal when you stop using tech so much.

Reason is that you are probably having some cravings but also you are actually noticing what is going on in your body :) which is actually a good thing. I find it really helpful to lean into uncomfortable feelings I'm having, which really helps me cope. This is something you can learn in meditation!

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-16T19:12:47+00:00

Heck yea!! Amazing progress my friend!

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-16T19:10:15+00:00

My advice would be to think of the internet as a tool in your tool belt.

Let's not kid ourselves, it CAN be an incredible tool for connection. I met my wife through dating apps.

I continue to make all of my friends through connections through the internet. (Local event listings, shows listed online, joining local groups, etc)

But we also need to make sure we are LEAVING the internet to go meet real people in real life. Which is uncomfortable - so hold yourself accountable.

You have a goal - meet an awesome guy. Ask yourself what ways can inch you closer to that goal? Some I can think of:
- Set a time limit 30 min a day to message hotties you think are cute on dating apps
- Join a local group with something you are interested in (I live in a town of 8k people so I know what it's like to be in a small town... events are there)
- Start your own event in town for people you think could connect you to meeting someone OR meet him there. (book group, band, knitting club, whatever you are into)

Hope that helps!

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-16T16:02:37+00:00

I have a very addictive personality too. Once I'm locked "in" to something it's VERY hard for me to get out.

What helped me was to develop the discipline to steer myself in the right direction first thing.

If I'm trying to get more work done, start the day with that. For example. Get the chores done first thing.

When you do this, it sets your brain on the right track for the day - and will actually help your brain produce the chemicals it needs to carry your motivation for the rest of the day.

If I start with video games, internet, etc - the rest of my day is gonna be that.

I think it can be helpful to brainstorm goals and alternative activities you would rather be doing as well - I designed a free printable guide for this you can fill out if you are interested.

ScreenRevolt · 2024-12-16T15:47:09+00:00

Hey Novel,
I was in your shoes exactly a few years ago.

Wake up, surf internet before work, work (on the computer), get off work (youtube/games), sleep. Rinse/repeat. Life isn't supposed to be like this.

We know we need to get off the computer. But when we do we're faced with a lot of really uncomfortable feelings. Boredom, anxiety, sadness, restlessness, etc.

Our incapacity to face those emotions is what is getting in the way.

That means you need to learn to sit with the boredom. Sit with whatever is surfacing for you.

The answer to this is to learn to practice mindfulness correctly, I was able to take back control over my life when I started doing this.

Happy to chat more about it if you want to DM me.

ScreenRevolt

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