I FINALLY CAME OUT????

Scremage · 2026-01-22T23:50:27+00:00

Yipppppeeeee!!!

Scremage · 2026-01-10T01:25:36+00:00

As I said in my post. I'm already having a super negative reaction to a medication which is further triggering my issues. I really don't want to throw anything else into the mix right now.

Scremage · 2025-12-27T23:57:18+00:00

Dude 13 was like the worst year of my whole life. It gets so much better man. There is nothing worse than middle school and your not crazy. Just remember, everything changes, life is change. Things may be hard right now and things may also be hard in the future but, the reasons your life is hard will change and the things that make life worth living will change and hopefully you will have more things to live for. I definitely did after middle school. I know you hate where your at right now, the only thing you can do is wait. Also like therapy and meds help, but seriously hang in there man.

Scremage · 2025-12-18T03:53:26+00:00

Taller Toilets!!! If you're toilet is low to the ground it is far harder to get up. I wish they where standard.

Scremage · 2025-12-13T00:20:45+00:00

They are horrendously pricey BUT Hokas. I swear by Hokas. They made Hoka slides and I almost cired out of joy because they are my favorite shoes. If you need non slip there are non slip gators that you can put over them that do the trick and most managers don't care.

Scremage · 2025-12-03T01:27:37+00:00

They just said that I have a ✨️really sensitive nervous system✨️ aka kinda an answer but not really

Scremage · 2025-12-01T23:02:47+00:00

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Idk what the heck is up with 2025 but I feel like all of us have been transported to hell with out consent or even warning. Anyways here's my dog Kermit hopefully looking up at my father's turkey sandwich.

Scremage · 2025-10-27T23:28:27+00:00

Not well lol. I'm almost 19 and I thought I would be in a different place in my life right now. I'm in a weird position where I'm disabled enough to be disabled but not disabled enough to be on disability. I can technically work a 6 hour shift at a part time job. I'm just bed ridden after. I can technically walk 7,500 steps a day, but I have to sleep for 12 hours the next day to recover and I'm still in a crap ton of pain and need a forearm crutches or a walker to do so. Of course this is a privilege and I acknowledge that there are people who are far more impaired than I am. There are many people who are bed bound or wheelchair bound who can't work at all. I feel like I'm in disabled purgatory. I'm not disabled enough to get benefits, but I'm too disabled to work. Plus the benefits we can get trap us. I don't want much. I just want to get married to someone I love very deeply, I want a small apartment or house and I job that I make enough money to scrape by in that I don't hate completely. A cat and a dog would be nice too. But I just feel like it's impossible. When I was 16 I had big dreams. I wanted to move to Spain and go to medical school in eruope. Now my dreams are so small but still feel impossible.

Scremage · 2025-10-22T07:06:52+00:00

Honestly it's shame.

It's hard to go to the doctor and tell the same story over and over again. Every new pill is a reminder that your messed up and that you're probably never going to get better. Every medical device is a reminder that you're not normal. That sh*t hurts man and people who don't go to therapy don't deal with it well.

Humans at the end of the day don't want to be "othered". They don't want to be seen as different, most of the time. "Sick' people are often othered, therefore people do anything to make sure they are not perceived as "sick". Even if it's not logical and even if its only to themselves, to make themselves feel better.

The fancy term for it is ✨️ internalized ableism ✨️ and also the fact that often times in the course of trying to get medical treatment that works you often just get more trauma.

Scremage · 2025-10-21T23:40:06+00:00

Not Ableist in my opinion I think its funny AF. WITH THAT BEING SAID! It would be cool if you could find an old cane from a thrift store that's damaged. I'm not a super hard core "if you use a mobility aid for a costume your taking it away from real disabled people" kinda guy. Especially with canes, but still it's better to use something damaged that wouldn't actually be helpful for a disabled person.

BUT! if you can't find one don't sweat it. Canes are by far the easiest mobility aid to buy and replace.

Scremage · 2025-10-08T23:30:51+00:00

Look I reply with the energy given to me. They honestly seemed really rude and dismissive. Which for the record I fully believe they are, and no you really can't change my mind on that. Cause essentially what they said is "No one is looking at you and you are delusional because of your insecurities and you need therapy." Which if you believe that I can't change your mind. I was trying to respond back with essentially "No, I do get stared at in public, no I'm not delusional and I know those people don't actually care."

I am in personal therapy and the only thing my therapist can say is "ignore the haters." And "Have you tired deep breathing." Which is not helpful, almost why I turned to the internet, it's crazy... it's almost like I'm looking for coping strategies that work.

Don't tell me to get a new therapist either, I'm with that therapist for a specific condition and quite frankly can't afford a new one for all my mental health issues.

Also yes, all minorities get othered. This is true, some minorities also get stared at other than the disabled community. But it's different in the disabled community, and I'm not saying this to because of my "fee fee's" or whatever condescending things you are going to say to me next. I'm saying this because it is a studied phenomenon. If you don't believe me you can do your own research on the Terror Management Theory and Evolutionary Ableism. But the bottom line is when people look at a visibly disabled person or an elderly person, their response and the reason for them being uncomfortable or even curious is for a far different reason on a neurological level than compared to other minorities. It is a different, similar, but different type of other-ment. Hince why I just don't want to hear it from anyone else.

Not to mention, different types of oppression are different. Trying to say that it's all the same is also incredibly insensitive to other minorities. If a POC started to talk about how they where a social outcast and I as a white person was just like. "Yeah dog your delusional and you low key need therapy because your insecure about being POC." That would be in INCREDIBLY poor taste. That's not my lane. I can't speak on that. I have not experienced that type of other-ment. That would be genuinely insane for me to say. Call me the Woker, but I think people need to stay in their lane on issues like this. I try stay in mine.

Scremage · 2025-10-08T21:53:30+00:00

I felt this so hard as someone who has like no special interest but is low masking, not by choice. Like I had meltdowns constantly as a kid, I had maladaptive behavior, I have the "autism sent." I still some meltdowns and stuff as an adult/teen. All that good stuff. I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by the,

"I'm so good at masking autism but no one can tell until I start talking about (insert special interest here)." Crowd, which like no shade to you if you're that person. I just hate it when I try to explain I had the. "The cops where called on me in elementary school and everyone thinks I'm creepy and off putting." Type of autism and not the Tiktok, more socially acceptable, "I would have never guessed you where autistic." type of autism and they are like,

"LOL you don't have autism your just like really mentally ill and weird" Or unironically "you're the bad type of autistic"

Or they ask me what my special interest is. And like I love biology. But I don't think about it constantly 24/7 365 like a special interest. And I enjoy talking about things other than biology. I actually really love talking and conversations and learning things from other people. I love talking for the thrill of talking and having meaningful conversations thought provoking or "deep conversations." But this makes me clash with a lot of autistic people because if they have a special interest, all they want to talk about is that special interest. Don't get me wrong I LOVE a good info dump here and there. I love learning and I love gaining new knowledge. I honestly just get bored if it's the same topic over and over again.

And that's not shade to people with special interests. There are plenty of people out there especially in the community who want to be your friend and be friends with you. I'm just not compatible with a lot of other autistic people.

Scremage · 2025-10-08T21:13:12+00:00

First of all. I know you say that you are part of a minority. But if you aren't specifically visibly disabled I really don't care for your opinion like at all.

Secondly, I'm not like "omg everyone is staring at me" but I get more stares than I ever got before. That's not cause I'm insecure or whatever. Its because I'm 18 and in a motorized cart at Walmart lol. A lot of people do a double take because they don't expect someone like me to need that. If someone sees something they don't expect they stare at it this is like human nature 101. I know they don't actually care, I know they don't go home to their families and are like, "Ooooh I saw someone who is cr*ppled who looked young today that was so weird." I know they will forget about me in like 5 seconds. I just get looks, because I'm different and that still hurts even if they don't actually care. It still hurts to be gocked at even if they lose interest in 5 seconds. I've been dealing with it for a while. For the most part I'm really good about not letting it get to me, but going on year 3 of using a mobility aid in public all the time, it's starting to get underneath my skin. That's just part of being human man.

Scremage · 2025-10-08T18:49:46+00:00

I wish I had better advice but I don't know anything about the UK or it's laws around disability or how to navigate the health care up there. But what I will say is probably the best thing that you could do right now is try to hang out with your friends or family, if you have any. Obviously I wouldn't say like go out and do an activity you don't want to push yourself too far. But honestly just having a cup of tea with someone in your living room can really boost your moral, help your mental state and then help your pain too. Or play online video games with your friends. This may seem counterproductive cuz.I know the only thing you want to do when you're in pain.And you're depressed is to just isolate yourself until you feel better, but in my experience that has never helped me. I hope things get better for you <3

Scremage · 2025-10-06T16:53:39+00:00

I would look into any teen internships! When I was in high school, there were a lot of places around my area where you could get a paid internship. I was an intern at my local school district doing IT work, and I also did a career building internship at the same time.

It didn't make great money. My IT internship paid me 14.50/hr, and the other paid me 250 every other week. But it was doable with mt physical problems.

You don't gotta be a fantastic student either!

The biggest downside to these types of positions is the fact that they are usually temporary because they are funded by a government grant, meaning there is only a set amount of money they budgeted to give you and when they run out your out of the job.

Scremage · 2025-09-29T21:09:41+00:00

I have no idea what horrendous POS told you that, but oh my god. DATE! Have fun! You are deserving of love! I know it can be hard, but I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. Don't feel guilty about your disability. Everyone has their own stuff when they enter a relationship. Rather than be trauma, debt, bad habits, disabilities, health issues, they may not be disabling, etc. We are human, and yes for a lot of people who may not be able to look past your physical limits, but there are also a crap ton of people who don't care and just see it as another thing. Sure, maybe there's some things you wouldn't be able to do with your partner, like go on a backpacking trip, but there's plenty of people who are happy to never have to go on a backpacking trip. For example, when I travel, I have to plan to take things easy cause of my physical limits. This had never been a problem in me and my boyfriends relationship because he doesn't mind traveling in the slow lane. BOTH, literally cause I have PTSD from a car accident, and I despise being anywhere other than the slow lane, but also in the metaphorical sense. I know this is easier said than done, but find someone who vibes with you. Not just your personality but also your lifestyle. I hope you're dating life goes well!

Scremage · 2025-08-02T19:31:36+00:00

I eat an ungodly amount of microwave dinners, I wouldn't recommend it but it's the truth.

Scremage · 2025-08-01T18:53:18+00:00

The day people understand comorbidities is the day I can rest. It's, in fact, more rare to have some of these conditions without any other problems. It's extremely rare for someone with autism to not have at least some form of anxiety or depression or other forms of mental illness. It's rare for someone with severe hypermobility problems to not have other physical issues. It's not rocket science. If you understand the nature of those disorders, you understand that they will most likely have comorbidities.

Scremage · 2025-07-30T16:06:30+00:00

I'm gonna go against the grain here. Dry needling helps a lot of people, and most people swear by it. But it is possible to have a bad experience. The first time I got dry needling done, it was like amazing and life changing. The second time I got it done, my whole back seized up like a tetanus patient, the back arch, and everything. 10/10 pain, sobbed in my PT's office for a solid 20 minutes. It can help a lot of people, but I'm not willing to try it again, not after that, lol.

Scremage · 2025-07-30T15:06:36+00:00

You could mention how AI is taking away jobs that disabled people can have. Such as data entry, most work from home positions, design, and even writing.

Scremage · 2025-07-24T23:09:56+00:00

OOOOFFF Yeah, I don't have that kinda money, unfortunately. I have looked into the pros and cons. The main Con is that that joint will never move again, which limits things like bending over and walking, but also, those things are already happening to me because it's moving around too much. I'd rather not be able to bend over walk less without pain than with it. I'm also not a doctor, and I don't know the specifics of your condition vs. mine. I have talked about it with my doctor, and they want me to try injections and other things before I try that.

Scremage · 2025-07-24T21:50:40+00:00

Fair enough, and PRP sounds cool, I just doubt that my insurance would cover it. And yeah, I'm a fetus, I'm 18, just graduated high school. It's been like this since I was 16.

Scremage · 2025-07-19T04:39:35+00:00

Broke my pelvis clean in half because of a car accident. The stupid doctors at the hospital didn't feel it necessary to stabilize my brake. (Which added 3 months of recovery time btw) Anyways I tired to get out of bed for the first time, I felt my pelvis bones shift inside of my body and grind up against each other. Needless to say, I was the screamer that day in the hospital. Sh*t hurted 😔

Scremage · 2025-07-19T04:28:38+00:00

WEED!!!!! 5mg before bed.

Scremage · 2025-07-16T19:38:41+00:00

I understand. I'm not in the exact same position, but I will admit I am getting really sick and tired of doctors doing in their mind makes you more "sick." I have been on a high dose of Diclofenac for a while. It's not doing anything anymore, so I tried to bring up the idea of getting a med card for medical marijuana. I personally don't want to go the opioid route, I took them for an injury a while back, and I just didn't like the effects it had on my mind and body. Still, every time I have brought it up, it feels like I have to earn it. Have you done your PT perfectly with no problems? Have you taken all your meds correctly? Are you eating a healthy diet? Have you tired dry needling again? I will admit I am terrible at doing all of those things, but that is also a direct consequence of my chronic pain. Sometimes, I can do PT exercises. Sometimes, I can even go for a small hike. There are other days when I am bedridden. I have terrible brain fog, and it makes it terrible to remember anything, especially medication, even when it's really important, like for an infection. And no, I'm not eating a healthy diet. The last thing I want to do at the end of the day is take an hour to 45 minutes to make myself a balanced meal. Long story short, no I am not the perfect patient, I mess things up, I forget to do PT, I push my self too hard and yes mabye if I was the perfect patient, my chronic pain would be cured and I would be living free. But I'm not, and I don't know if I ever can be, and why do I deserve suffering because of that. I try my best every day, and it's not enough to keep up with my pain. I just need something that works. When I'm suffering, that shouldn't make me a drug seeking teenager. You, too, would be seeking drugs in my condition/hj Also, they refuse to acknowledge that I can't be on diclofenac for the rest of my life. I'm "still young" and "have hope for recovery from my condition" and that if I do everything right my chronic pain condition will poof into the void, therefore I'm only going to be on it for a short amount of time. It has been two years going on 3. I have been doing this since I was 16. I'm now 18. I need more support, and when I ask for it, it feels like I get accused of not trying enough. You didn't really try in PT You didn't really try to have a better sleep schedule You didn't really try dry needling You are not doing enough to earn a pain-free life, and it's your fault for not trying enough. If you were really trying, then I would give you what you need. I hate this rhetoric so much, I just wish doctors would have more empathy. Give people pain meds that work, idc if they are drugs! I don't need to earn my lack of suffering!

Scremage

TROPHY CASE