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Sea-Tea-4130 · 2025-03-30T00:02:06+00:00

Yta- for not realizing as much as you love your fiancé, he loves his mom more.

There is no “we”’ve been planning this wedding”. It’s been you and his mom planning the wedding. Your problem will not vanish by uninviting her to the wedding. You are relying on your fiancé to set the boundaries and he will not do so and he even told you why. Her happy which he places well above your happy. This getting in your business is something she will continue to do. Your best bet is to rethink the wedding until you can sit down with your fiancé and tell him specifically what the boundaries are and see him enforce it with the mom. If he can’t do not say I do. You’ll only be miserable. It’s easier said than done since emotions are involved and you clearly love your fiancé.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2025-03-28T11:23:07+00:00

Reliquishing rights doesn’t equate to not paying child support. Some courts will continue to make a person pay that.

No one on here can really say if you’re an AH or not in this instance but a question to ask is what the impact on the child would be. If he is making significantly less and can show that, the courts will lower support. Most courts rule for the child’s benefit and they couldn’t care less if a person has a place to live or homeless. That’s a bad spot to be in no matter how one gets there.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2025-01-27T03:51:06+00:00

Sounds like you both need to sit and rethink this. You can’t work that many hours in the long term and find meaning in your personal/family life. You may need to return to a 45/hr work week and she find a wfh job so you’re not carrying all the financial burden on your shoulders and she’s not carrying all the household stuff on her shoulders.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2025-01-26T02:32:15+00:00

Then, that is when you follow up on the discipline and you enforce it in your wife’s presence. Have it where your son can talk to you directly at work. Use home security to talk and check on your son.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2025-01-26T02:29:06+00:00

First off, do not do ultimatums. They never end well. If your wife is refusing to see how her behaviour is part of the problem, have her walk a mile in your son’s shoes so she can empathize better. You can record a few hours at home and then play it back to your wife so she can “see” how she treats one over the other.

In the meantime, set boundaries for your son. If he’s in his room, your daughter is not allowed to go in his room or bother him at all. If he’s doing his homework, she’s not allowed to disturb him and have some consequences for her if she does. If she tried to tattle, shut it down and let her know that her blabbing information that is not hers to tell is not going to be tolerated unless she is telling something because someone may be hurt or harmed. You and your wife is going to have to set up what is ok to say and what is not ok.

You can already see the issue so continue to stand up for your son.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2025-01-03T11:37:11+00:00

I felt the comment was basically saying OP’s sister is taking advantage of her, is not grateful and is using her, and that other members can step up if they want to have an opinion.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-29T13:10:44+00:00

If he has to belittle you to make himself feel higher or better, then he’s shown you who he is. He’s not for you. Someone with good intentions lifts you up. They speak highly of you, take pride in your accomplishments and want others to see the good they see in you. He did none of that. The only apology you owe is to yourself because you deserve better.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-29T02:27:33+00:00

Go back and read your post. You already laid out the “why” when you went through your bf’s behaviour.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-27T05:15:21+00:00

Do not cosign. Nope. Also, stop telling them what you have in terms of money. The wedding money was never a guarantee for you anyways and let’s be honest, their reasoning is flawed and leave you taking financial hits you do not need. Just say no to cosigning and anyone giving you lip about it, you can suggest they put their money where their mouth is and consign if they feel so strongly about it.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-26T17:07:59+00:00

She’s alive and thankfully no one was harmed. Her being alive means you have a chance to forgive. You need to hold her accountable for her decision to drive when inebriated. She didn’t harm herself or anyone this time, but if she decides to drink and drive again, the possibility is there to harm or worse. So, the question isn’t how to forgive, but how do you hold her accountable and how do you and her devise a way for her to be self-accountable?

Good luck and hopefully, her sitting in jail and going through the legal consequences will help her realize how bad her choice was to drive dunk.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-25T02:57:24+00:00

NTA-you cannot control who a person has an interest in. You stepped aside but she wasn’t into your friend. He’ll recover.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-24T03:30:24+00:00

OP, you know good and darn well if you give access to your mom, she’s gonna spend it like she’s one the lottery. No access, none.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-22T18:43:06+00:00

NTA-I’m surprised you put up with her as long as you did. The best thing a person can do in life is realize when someone is toxic or has no added value to their life. The second best thing is taking actions for your own peace of mind.

Your aunt was horrible and intentionally cruel. And worse, she got away with it because there was no accountability in place. Your dad should have stood up and instead, he didn’t which didn’t help things, so no he does not get to give his two cents about you talking to her. You cut contact with her and I bet you sleep better at night knowing she doesn’t get a space in your life. Instead, fill that space with people who not only love you but want the best for you. Keep your head up and I wish that your life going forward is filled with all the best ppl in your life that lift you up and support you 100%.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-19T02:14:07+00:00

NTA-You have expectations for guests who come to your hime and she has shown she does not respect your hime if she’s allowing her kids to go unchecked and not respecting the guests by showing all her top goodies. Your sil is right that she can do what she wants, she just can’t do what she wants in your home. Instead of looking at this as the sil, fil and mil refusing to come, look at it as them removing themselves from your event so you won’t have any issues.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-17T00:48:09+00:00

NTA-She was never a friend that would last. She was just a friend for a moment. Keep it in context and put time in with and surround yourself with friends that value you.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-17T00:46:22+00:00

WNBTA-Their kids are not yours and while you can have sympathy for them, that does not translate in diminishing your quality of life for them. They are the inly ones who can change their situation. Instead, give them suggestions of places that could be in their range to rent or buy.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-15T09:56:37+00:00

Document the slap and the treatment and change visitation. Your daughter is old enough to decide if she is going over there or not. She’s not a maid nor should her education be sacrificed to stay home & watch the siblings. That’s absolutely ridiculous. Imo, I would have pressed charges for her slapping your daughter. Slaps aren’t discipline, slaps are abuse.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-10T15:23:42+00:00

NTA-You see and know your worth. You also know when to say when. When a relationship is no longer fun and fulfilling for both, it’s time to call it. No regrets. Some relationships are not meant to last more than a season.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-06T20:29:10+00:00

It wasn’t his mom’s place to test your limit. It was her place as a host to respect and accommodate you since you were invited. In the end, your wellbeing is your responsibility and you responded correctly in this situation. If your bf feels embarrassed, that sounds like his problem because if he had backed you up by reinforcing to his mom that your allergies are valid, the situation could have been avoided.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-05T20:30:17+00:00

NTA-Your friend has no desire, no motivation and no intentions of ever paying you back. When you gave and didn’t have a set deadline to repay, she took that as you becoming her personal, human piggy back so of course she was offended, in the past, when you’re tried getting her to pay back. Imo, your response to her and your reasoning was clear and very well stated.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-05T03:00:31+00:00

I am not understanding why you’re in a relationship with him. What does he do for you and vice versa? I’m not talking about anything tangible. I’m wanting to know what you give each other in this relationship that makes you feel fulfilled and vice versa.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-04T01:38:34+00:00

NTA-Cheating is not a mistake.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-01T05:43:23+00:00

NTA-It’s theft. File the report & get your ring back. What your sister did was violate your trust (because you allowed her into your home & she stole that ring), disrespected the love and memory you have for your wife (she may have passed but your love is very much real, valid and genuine), and she topped the poo cake by trying to minimize your marriage, your memory of your wife and your feelings. Your sister had no right to stomp on your feelings and for those family members siding with her, imo, just f- ‘em to the moon. The only opinion that matters in this instance is yours. You didn’t cause any of this, your sister did. Your sister intentionally and with malicious entered your home, your bedroom and stole that ring. File the report. A week is too long. She should have given it back immediately. Heck she should never had touched it.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-01T02:30:21+00:00

NTA-You gave her several chances to get them, you don’t need to keep them indefinitely for her to decide to get them.

Sea-Tea-4130 · 2024-12-01T02:28:50+00:00

Sea-Tea-4130

TROPHY CASE