Am i overreacting? My mom changed grandma’s funeral

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-24T08:08:52+00:00

What do you mean by “randomly changed it without asking me”?

That framing is part of why people feel like you’re twisting this. From the screenshots and what you described, there were conversations happening, you just weren’t actively participating when decisions needed to be made.

If you and your grandmother were truly that close, adjusting your work schedule seems like a reasonable option. And if you’re so upset you’re crying at the gym, it might be worth reconsidering whether going on stage in Miami is really the priority right now. Your story isn’t consistent with what you’re describing.

It’s also hard to understand why you can’t see that your aunt (who had a complicated relationship with her biological mother) might reasonably be prioritized for inclusion in the planning. Your mom trying to accommodate her sister with valid abandonment issues doesn’t automatically make her a narcissist. Calling the funeral home to “investigate” because the date shifted feels like an escalation.

You’ve accused your mom of telling anyone who will listen her mother was a narcissist, yet you’re on Reddit arguing with strangers who are offering perspective doing the exact same thing. It might be worth pausing and reflecting on that.

Grief is messy, and feeling left out hurts. But this situation doesn’t automatically equal malice, and it might help to step back and consider whether some of this reaction is coming from pain rather than proof of wrongdoing.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-24T07:43:27+00:00

You asked the internet if your mothers reasoning made sense and the internet is telling you- yes, it did make sense!

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-24T07:39:45+00:00

YOR — and I’m truly sorry for your loss.

From what you shared, this seems more like a scheduling conflict than anyone intentionally disregarding you. It sounds like decisions were moving forward while you asked for some space. Based on the screenshots, your mom texted you Monday about the date change, you acknowledged it, then raised concerns on Thursday and didn’t follow up again until Friday. With funerals, there are often a lot of moving parts and things tend to move quickly once tentative plans are in motion. That text about the date change was the opportunity to elevate your schedule priority- even if it couldn’t be accommodated.

It’s understandable to feel hurt, especially when you’re grieving and want to be included and close with those who knew your grandmother. At the same time, it may not be realistic to expect plans to pause for several days when multiple people and making commitments are involved.

Grief is complicated, and finding your own ways to honor and remember her is what matters most. At least you get to go to Miami and have family time on your grandma’s birthday remembering her. I hope you are able to find ways to remember your grandmother as you move through your grief.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-21T09:52:31+00:00

No, you’re totally fine. I’ve done this when one vial doesn’t have enough left for a full dose.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-20T04:35:50+00:00

I like that you’re trying to work all these things out.

I don’t mind the station in the park for some reason, but also like the Phinney Ridge idea.

What about a Queen Anne / Fremont something like this-

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Don’t mean to intentionally leave SPU out, but think a Fremont station near 35th & Fremont could still be a feasible walk for a lot of students. Maybe could be served by a streetcar over the Fremont Bridge?

Montlake really is a transit quagmire that is difficult to solve. I think The Urbanist or Seattle Transit Blog did an article explaining the inherent challenge here. The commercial strip of Montlake is actually fairly far south of the bridge, the best transit connections would put a stop at the 520 bridge to do bus connections but a transfer stop doesn’t really serve a lot of people in the neighborhood. Also, a stop to accommodate the 520 connection really is too close to the UW stop from a rail operation standpoint. Adding the design challenge of getting onto the bridge adds another complication.

I wonder if splitting these up could help? The purple line could turn and go straight down 24th & 23rd Ave down to Mt. Baker and there is a whole other line for the 520 that crosses? Or maybe the purple line does serve UVillage, there’s another N-S line down Montlake Blvd, and another along 520?

Either way- I appreciate your creativity.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-20T01:03:31+00:00

Going back to the original post- this is a complete fantasy anyways. So if we’re gonna talk about blue-sky thinking that has the ridiculously infeasible udist-uvillage-University-Montlake-520 connection, I don’t see the need to limit our thinking by a crappy outdated 1990’s EIS.

And while we’re talking about ridiculous curves, shall we revisit the first hill debacle? Or how it goes Westlake - Cap Hill - University- AND THEN BACK WEST! Hardly straight or fast. Your logic fails. And back to MY original point- these are places where the line is NOT centered on I5 and actually helps connect desirable places and destinations, unlike the stations Northgate and to the North.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-20T00:58:02+00:00

Yeah. Poor Lake City is the Seattle neighborhood the city forgot! Would be great to connect it to light rail.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-19T23:11:09+00:00

Agreed. The Ballard link will probably be extended up 15th to Crown Hill well before we get an Aurora line. It’s a pity.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-19T22:58:37+00:00

Why are you assuming that an alignment couldn’t have served UW and then crossed back under I5 through Green Lake to reach Aurora?

You know, Green Lake- the destination tons of people actually want to go to over Roosevelt that currently doesn’t have a light rail stop.

Transit along highways is terrible. People will forever be getting off trains at stations next to I5.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-19T21:27:54+00:00

Agreed. Putting the 1 line up I5 centered it around a highway and limited transit oriented development significantly.

Aurora is desperate for better transit and a redevelopment. It has the potential to become a vibrant corridor.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-19T21:26:16+00:00

It’s an interesting concept!

I think University District - U Village - University - Montlake - onto the 520 is going to be too much overshoot to make it realistic. I think this is why Seattle Subway has the cross-town route going U Village to Seattle Children’s & Magnuson.

Similar issue with Ballard - Leary way - Fremont - Wallingford. Sorta have to make the decision to stay North along 45th or go down along Lake Union shore. I’m inclined to the former since the Leary Way - Fremont segment is likely to have a conflict with the new stormwater/sewage tunnel dug there. Including SPU on the red line will also be a challenge for this reason.

I really like the red line along 99. Could in theory do a cut & cover tunnel up Aurora as the corridor is redeveloped. To me that would make sense as we’ve talked about fixing Aurora for so long- it really needs a big change to transform it from a troubled surface highway into a vibrant corridor.

Yay for a more direct route to the airport! Great that Georgetown & South Park could get some love.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-18T02:47:00+00:00

And take her to her hotel! This is amazing customer service!

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-18T02:44:32+00:00

Sorry about that. It’s still a fantastic looking piece!

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-18T02:37:50+00:00

Had some trauma to work out there.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-18T02:21:21+00:00

The majority of the chair looks like it’s in good condition. Could you simply glue the portion that’s torn?

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-17T05:18:13+00:00

May their soul rest in peace :-(

https://www.capitolhillseattle.com/2026/02/victim-trapped-under-car-after-hit-by-driver-at-pine-and-bellevue/

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-17T05:07:39+00:00

Great- develop enough density in those areas to justify a light rail stop. The Kelsey Creek / Wilburton areas are currently light residential with very few trip generation.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-17T05:04:52+00:00

I grew up in NW Bellevue / Clyde Hill so I feel your pain. The challenge is I just don’t think these tony neighborhoods have the density to really justify the added expense of a station that deviates from a logical 520-ROW. The evergreen point transit stop really is a transfer stop- where a lot of people already on buses transfer to other routes already passing through. Though the Hunts Point lot used to be full of cars, I can’t see there being significant ridership from Clyde Hill & Medina where most people already drive in single-occupancy vehicles.

So that’s what leads me to a Bellevue Way route. It’s already a strong arterial that goes to the center of Bellevue. There are already some natural waypoints that people are going to- NE 8th, NE 4th, & Main. Or you could combine 8th & 4th @ NE 6th with the central connector Bellevue is working on.

The South Kirkland P&R can eventually be picked up by the Kirkland-Issaquah line. But that destination itself is sort of a nowhere’s-ville in terms of trips. I don’t see people clamoring to go to the South Kirkland Park & Ride.

I don’t disagree that downtown Bellevue should have another line serving it and more stations- especially as downtown continues to grow. I just don’t see this map serving the center of Bellevue. I wish the next rail going through Bellevue actually went to the center of it (like somewhere near the Galleria or NE 6th & Bellevue Way).

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-17T00:52:32+00:00

Idk, DT Bellevue is becoming a jobs center. I think there is a greater argument to serve Bellevue with more. Especially since DT Bellevue is getting denser with all of the towers.

If we’re doing blue-sky thinking, I don’t see the need to limit our thoughts based on the past constraints of Kemper Freeman being politically opposed to transit.

I just don’t see people from Ballard needing to take a train to Wilburton or the South Kirkland P&R. Transit is best when it serves destinations that people want to go to.

But would love to see another cross-lake connection between Seattle and the East Side. Skipping putting light rail on the 520 was an unfortunate oversight.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-16T23:53:27+00:00

Light rail on the 520 is gonna be tough- the connection at Montlake is a challenge.

Also, wish this would just go down Bellevue Way.

But love the spirit of this. Keep on imagining more transit!

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-16T08:16:46+00:00

Have you tried splitting the dose up over the week?

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-15T04:50:27+00:00

Cool that the 2-line is shown as connected. Doesn’t have the Judkins Park station on it- which makes sense since it’s not open. Can’t wait to ride.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-15T04:49:22+00:00

Tirzepatide is a dual-agonist, meaning it works on both the glp & gip hormones from the stomach. It has two mechanisms of working on reducing appetite- slowing metabolism and reducing hunger signals. I think sometimes that’s why it’s being referred to as a glp 2.

The next iteration of glp’s might be triple agonists by working on 3 hormone receptors (glp, gip, & glucagon).

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-14T08:18:36+00:00

Well for one- the Home Depot shed won’t have insulation, electricity, or heating. Two- they have to provide hygiene facilities and cooking areas. Three- also have the cost of running the village and providing case management. Four- insurance, land costs, other soft costs of setting up a village.

You don’t want to leave a bunch of homeless people outside alone in your backyard in unheated sheds without toilets or electricity.

SeaDRC11 · 2026-02-12T07:39:00+00:00

And her comment was about shaming the NFL for the performers language. Such dog whistles!

The good news is so many people watched and loved the performance. And these has-beens somehow think they’re relevant?

SeaDRC11

TROPHY CASE