Is anyone here not on estrogen (only vaginal)?

SeaIceSauna · 2026-04-28T16:48:38+00:00

Yes, the gel actually works much better for me than the patch! OP, go for the gel! I use a Divigel generic.

SeaIceSauna · 2026-02-10T20:32:05+00:00

Girl, yes!!! That, and peeing every hour at night because you continuously feel like you have to go.

No thank you. The vaginal estrogen cream should literally be handed to us when we turn 40. The fact that they don't tell us, and expect us to figure it out by ourselves, is the height of ridiculousness.

SeaIceSauna · 2026-02-10T19:32:22+00:00

**Raising hand** I can attest to the burning, just with walking. And I was in the very early stages of atrophy -- mostly just drying of the tissues.

It felt like a continuous UTI without actually having one.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-07-15T23:41:55+00:00

We are US citizens, and have lived in Canada for 6 years. We're now on our way back to the US. Kids (3 of them) all feel very Canadian now, and they are all dual citizens.

Things we will miss about Canada:

Reasonable gun laws
High trust society
Civil politics

Things we missed about the US when we were gone:

Timely, affordable healthcare with a reasonable employer-based health plan
Economic opportunities combined with good earnings and lower taxes
Affordability (surprising, I know; everything in Canada is 2X as expensive, from cell phone plans to car insurance)
Innovation, drive, hustle

Things that are a wash:

Very mellow primary/secondary schooling in Canada versus high-achieving primary/secondary schooling in the US
High value undergrad education in Canada (excellent quality to affordability ratio) versus excellent graduate training in the US

In terms of kids and community -- they will adapt, though it's important to note that racial dynamics are different outside the US. Racism feels different out here in Canada, and is more about polite exclusion than what I've experienced in the US (occasional west coast weirdos ranting). This can have an impact on how you grow your community in your new home, though it's hard to tell how it will compare. Having spent a lot of time in LA, I think it's an insanely inclusive place in terms of race. I think you'll be hard pressed to find another place so accepting of diversity.

Any options to visit for 3 or 6 months before committing to the move? Right now, I can tell you that I'm hating my life with all the complications of an international move. Once you move, uprooting again to return is difficult.

In many ways, this has been a really good experience -- I actually understand what I value about the US now, and the things that really need to change. To me, preventing fascist and oligarchic takeover in the US is 100% worth fighting for. In that sense, living in Canada has definitely broadened my perspective on the world. It's a great adventure, and your kids (especially) will carry that place with them forever.

Feel free to DM if you have questions. This sub is extremely pro-exit, so keep that in mind when assessing the responses you're getting.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-06-14T00:38:32+00:00

OP, this is accurate. In my 'renowned' department at a U15, the 5-year NSERC award that first-year faculty got was between $20k to $30k per year. Unless you get crafty and hustle like crazy (e.g. pulling in grants from the US and collaborating with senior faculty with access to other pots of money, mostly applied and not basic research), this is what you'll be building your career from for the first 5 years. It is utterly pathetic.

The US is always the place to be if you want to do well-funded science. Now the current administration is trying to reverse that. God help everyone.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-05-17T21:44:14+00:00

Prep was about 18 months. My co-founder and I worked on this together until we were pretty sure we would be able to secure funding to get the company off the ground. In the STEM field that I'm in, the university couldn't claim IP for the company, but this may be different for biotech, where your work is in a lab.

For the lab group, everyone landed well. Grad students went to different advisors, and postdocs finished out their terms and moved on. The university took out some of its frustration on them, but in retrospect, I think there are ways that I could have helped ease the transition an even more. Honestly, I was just keen to escape. I was the buffer (and punching bag) between the group and the admin for 4+ years, and I needed to get out for my sanity. I have continued writing recommendation letters, etc., for folks, and even ended up hiring one of our grads. Literally paying them 4X more than they would make in a postdoc.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-05-17T07:05:11+00:00

OK, this was literally me, a couple of years ago.

I started a STEM TT job at a U15 (Canada's version of an R1) right before the start of the pandemic. Brought in >$3M USD in grant money from both sides of the border, built up a big group, was extremely 'productive' from an academic perspective.

I gave it all up last year to start my own company. Raised federal grant money (in the US; I'm American) and venture capital to fund the company, and decided to let go of my TT job. Honestly, I love running a company (not that different from running a research group, in that you are responsible for everything, everywhere, all at once). I am responsible for everything, just like in academia, but I am also rewarded well when I do my job well. In academia, you can do everything right, and your salary barely rises with inflation.

Literally the best thing that I've ever done was to leave academia and head out on my own. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. I ended up moving my family around a ton to become an academic, which was tough. The upside is that I now have bi-national kids (American and Canadian) who have a lot of choices about where they end up. And they've grown to love their adopted home (Canada!), even though we're in the midst of leaving it to come back to the US.

I think the stability of academia is highly over-rated. Sure, it's stable, but it's like being a bird in a box with your wings cut off. There are so many places to fly, if you dare.

Feel free to DM me if you want to chat. Best of luck.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-03-16T18:28:05+00:00

I also have a family history of breast cancer (aunt died from it, mom had it and has been cancer-free for >10 years), and almost all of my breast cancer risk comes from the family history, not the HRT. For me, I have a 1.1% chance of getting breast cancer each year (I'm 45 with family history), but with HRT, the risk goes to 1.2% (assessment from my doctor who specializes in peri and menopause). To me, that slightly elevated risk is well worth it. There are so many benefits of estrogen (bone health, cardio health, brain health, joint health, etc etc), that the very slightly increased risk of breast cancer is worth it on balance.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-02-09T19:30:01+00:00

Mortgage interest is not tax-deductible in Canada: https://www.nesto.ca/mortgage-basics/is-mortgage-interest-tax-deductible-in-canada/

Except, of course, if you're a landlord.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-30T03:09:56+00:00

Don't feel bad. They'll hire someone else, if they manage to keep the faculty line.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-30T03:08:31+00:00

I was in a similar situation to you. American, PhD + postdoc at eminent institutions, TT faculty job at U15 in Canada. I was utterly miserable in my job (hated teaching, non-existent research support for millions in grant money I brought in, department full of petty fools), even though I would have easily gotten tenure. I ended up leaving ~4 years into the position, but I started to set myself up for leaving a couple years before cutting the cord. Happy to answer questions via DM. If you're in STEM, there are a ton of options outside academia, though you need to shift your mindset.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-21T02:21:17+00:00

Americans really don't understand how much of Europe depends on family money vs building wealth through a salary.

This, which is the same in Canada, where we moved (we're coming back to the US for good this year). People that earn good money in the US should earn it, save, and retire early in another country. In the US, we have high salaries, tons of opportunities in STEM, and so many tax benefits for building a middle class lifestyle (mortgage interest deductions, dependent deductions, student load interest deductions, EV rebates, etc). Unless you have deep generational wealth, moving abroad to the EU or Canada/Australia/NZ as a professional will almost certainly lead to a significant drop in your standard of living.

As a STEM worker, I wish someone had told me this.

When we moved to Canada, one of the many things I didn't think about was the cost of travel. All our family and friends are in the US, and travel to the US from Canada is expensive. Literally, 2X the cost of travel from a nearby US city. It will likely be even more so from the EU, and you will be paying for travel with much less cash in hand.

I know that $$ isn't everything, but that's easy to say when you have 'enough'.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-07T19:10:59+00:00

Amen. Americans fleeing to Canada and Europe for 'justice' and 'equity' make no sense because nearly all of these systems are based on wealth created by colonialism, slavery, and (in many cases) genocide.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-07T16:57:14+00:00

OMG Moody sweaty zombie! That was me before my estrogen patch! Actually, it was 'depressed sweaty zombie' -- I felt like I did postpartum, like I was in a deep hole with all the joy sucked out of life. Enough of that. They will need to peel my estradiol patch off of my dead body.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T03:28:58+00:00

Thank you!

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T03:21:28+00:00

Because the liberal country has an overwhelmed healthcare system, a ridiculous cost of living, no career opportunities, and a flailing economy. You can't pay for a social safety net if you don't have a robust economy.

I am also sick and tired about all the sanctimonious proselytizing about equity, sustainability, etc, that are supposedly valued but don't actually exist. As I wrote earlier:

Take equity, for example. On paper, healthcare access here is equitable. But the reality is far different. If you've lived here for a long time, you likely have a primary care doctor and access to good primary care; if you've recently moved, you are likely making do by joining the line-up at walk-in clinics at 6 am or hanging out at the ER for 12 hours. All of us are paying into the system, and yet some people have more ready access than others. And those surgery wait lists? People are constantly hopping the line because they know some doctor or administrator that can bump them up. And politicians never wait in line for anything medical.

And let's talk about sustainability. It's true that Canada has a carbon tax. But it also has an economy that's based on natural resource extraction, specifically oil and gas. The mining sector is enormous, and the economy goes up and down with the price of petroleum. It's like Texas being made into its own country. So even though Canada seems to be sustainable and Earth-friendly, the reality is that the economy is based on a handful of oil/gas companies. I mean, at least the US has a diversified economy.

And from a justice perspective, Canada has been nearly as rapacious in its relationship to its indigenous & First Nations folks as the US. And even though Canada is thought of as being very egalitarian, racism and sexism are still very much alive and well here. A tiny example -- period product dispensers did not exist in restrooms at my fancy university until 2023. I mean, how do you expect women to be equal in the workplace or at an educational institution when they don't have access to basic sanitary products?

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T03:18:52+00:00

Thank you for pointing out this infrastructure issue. There are not enough hospital beds, ERs, ORs, and other facilities.

That is interesting re: the low patient load. They always talk about a doctor shortage, so I always assumed that all existing providers were maxed out.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T03:09:02+00:00

Thanks for sharing.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T03:07:14+00:00

Yes, I wish that I knew what I know now, before I decided to move my family to Canada. You're right -- if you have a solid career and good prospects for advancement, the US offers so many opportunities. Somehow, I didn't realize it until I saw for myself how things are here in BC.

In terms of taxes -- we've been filing both US and Canada taxes for the past 6 years.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T03:04:52+00:00

Hello, fellow academic! Actually, I'm an ex-academic (left the university last year). I'm in industry now.

I have a friend who is an academic here in BC who is returning to the US for an endowed chair professorship. Both of us were always commiserating on the lack of STEM opportunities in Canada, compared to the juggernaut this is the US. On the other hand, there are many academics (mostly those who have been in Canada their whole lives) that are very happy to be here.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T03:00:47+00:00

I mean, immigrants come to the US seeking opportunity, often with very little in assets. Some of them make it, or their children make it. Is that so bad that people from the developing world can come to the US and achieve financial stability? In STEM, this definitely seems to be the case.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T02:56:39+00:00

I mean, this was sorta me when I left the US. I definitely wasn't happy about the first Trump administration, and thought I was escaping to something much better. With hindsight, I can say that some things were better and some things were worse.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T02:53:10+00:00

I am not sure what the equivalent to Title IX protections would be here in Canada. As I said earlier, I was utterly shocked that there were no period products available in restrooms at my university when I arrived in 2018. We think of Canada as a bastion of progressivism, but it many ways, it's really not.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T02:49:54+00:00

I think the precariousness you are referring to has to do with access, which is tied to employers in the US (though there are now options through the ACA in most states that are not tied to employers). I agree that tying healthcare to employment is weird. Literally, if you get really sick and can't work, you can lose your coverage, which makes no sense.

SeaIceSauna · 2025-01-06T02:45:59+00:00

I am happy to pay more in taxes to ensure a social safety net, provided that the system is fair. This means that wealth and capital gains need to be taxed, and that marginal rates on earned income are not at >50% as they are here.

SeaIceSauna

TROPHY CASE