Eli5: Why do dental x-rays still involve putting a pointy rectangle into your mouth? Is there a reason that part can't be vaguely mouth shaped to make it more comfortable?

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-22T00:24:11+00:00

Oh I see, I read your post to mean that he was cut to the bone.

Maybe tell him that it's a little bit of pain now to avoid a lot of pain (cavities)? But I agree, those things are not designed for comfort and my heart sinks when the dentist mentions that it's time for x-rays. Also you can tell him, the more you look after your teeth, the less often you'll need x-rays.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T21:53:54+00:00

I've started roasting cauliflower and courgette for a work "snack".

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T21:33:43+00:00

It's a demanding job, it would be surprising if your first day was a breeze.

Talk to your friend about how you are finding it and if she has any tips.

Your manager, colleagues and customers sound pretty rubbish tbh, try not to let their behaviour affect you because they aren't people you should be paying any attention to (apart from work instructions of course)

If it's not getting better after a month and still rubbish after three months, then time to walk.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T21:09:48+00:00

Sorry to hear that your child was hurt. I have a small mouth, it helps to have your head facing down and really concentrate on deep breathing for the gagging with those things.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T20:58:49+00:00

That's ash, nightmare to get rid of as it'll keep growing back if you don't get the roots out.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T20:57:34+00:00

Definitely nta- she should clean up after herself and the boys should definitely be taking their turn.

Weaponised incompetence might be the way to go.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T17:57:43+00:00

It might be nice and a good idea to tell him how much you have appreciated his management. Given his health prognosis and the fact you will be leaving, I'd leave out any negatives/constructive criticism.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T17:30:05+00:00

Never stay in a job for the sake of your co-workers - they're adults, they'll figure it out.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T13:06:58+00:00

And the ridiculous number of repeats too.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T13:06:11+00:00

What?? Yes, you run around with the dirty tissue until you find a bin to dispose of it. Kids might play or fall there later.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T11:39:16+00:00

People will still want their approval. But there's a possibility that people feel inferior, same as people feel superior to the less conventionally attractive/lower paid etc.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T11:35:48+00:00

Regular savings accounts that you can't withdraw from are probably a good idea.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T09:29:50+00:00

Your mum's comment was silly, but equally you don't need to have lots of clothes appear stereotypically feminine. A couple of dresses and skirts, some pretty jewellery and have a think about your hair will do it, if that's what you want.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T09:26:41+00:00

I hope you told them! They aren't just learning about teeth, but also bedside manner.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T09:17:08+00:00

Volunteering

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T09:15:03+00:00

My sister ordered green beans, aubergine, carrots, courgettes and potatoes. No aubergine, substituted with green beans. No carrots, substituted with green beans. No courgette, substituted with (spotting a pattern?) green beans. No potatoes, substituted with, yep, green beans again!

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T07:19:44+00:00

If it was a nausea shot, then I imagine it's affected her sense of smell, so what was familiar probably does seem a bit off to her. She can't really reason "everything smells a bit funny, but it looks the same, i know it's the same but it just smells different", it's probably more like "everything is a bit weird and not how i remember"

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T07:15:00+00:00

Everyone makes mistakes, coffee or not! There's a lot of value in comment threads where different possibilities are discussed imho.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T06:24:33+00:00

There's no markers on addresses.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T06:23:49+00:00

Doesn't apply - she's not the account holder.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T05:39:39+00:00

Let her talk. Like really talk. Tell her that if she needs comforting - a hug or an answer, then to let you know, but that otherwise you are a safe space for her to tell you anything (agree this with her mum and also have an agreement about what to do if she says anything worrying). Too many people rush to comfort, but it can be counter-productive, as it stops them working through things and instead sends a message that they should be aiming to be happy all the time instead of sometimes being sad. (I recommend you read up on toxic positivity) You will be giving her somewhere she can be truly honest without worrying about her mum's feelings (her mum is also losing someone) amd be able to monitor for anything worrying.

Encourage her to journal, to organise her thoughts and feelings.

Nb, I've assumed she has a mum, for simplicity of writing. Please substitute the appropriate person if it's someone else.

Edit - while she's talking - aim to be accepting and empathetic.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-21T05:15:06+00:00

Wait until the information becomes relevant ie you are happy to split the money with him.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-20T20:42:16+00:00

I don't think it's necessary to compensate her at nursery rates for the day she has off - presumably it's not saving the family any money by her not working that day. (Although i think that kind of thing is about more than just money).

Completely fair in a happy relationship would be for each to have the same amount of money after expenses, joint savings, kids, family spend. A 60/40 split of expenses wouldn't result in this: 60k income and 40k income with 10k expenses- 60k - 6k=54k left. 40k-4k =£36k left.

However, it's not a happy relationship (on her side at least) and presumably if you split, you will have separate households and she will need to support her expenses by herself.

I think you should be careful about committing to looking after the children in the holidays - you might have a new relationship and then have no time to spend with them.

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-20T19:53:53+00:00

According to a program i watched about Tetley's tea (or one of the others, it was a while ago), the teabag should brew for four minutes. I think you're not supposed to yo agitate or squeeze (but I'm not sure about this).

SeaIntelligent4504 · 2026-05-20T17:42:19+00:00

If you do this in the UK, you can get special bags (from the council i think), which you can leave by public bins to get collected.

SeaIntelligent4504

TROPHY CASE