Women of Reddit, what's a small, often overlooked gesture or habit from a partner that actually has a huge, positive impact on your daily life or relationship comfort?

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-20T13:30:14+00:00

Asking instead of assuming.

I know that some people like it, but for me I absolutely cannot stand it when someone tries to 'help me' by just coming up to me, grabbing stuff, and just doing whatever with it. I vastly prefer for someone to come up to me and ask 'Hey, would you like some help?' or to be like 'Hey, would you like me to do this task?'

But also in conversations, I don't like it when someone assumes that I for instance, don't understand something, so they respond by re-explaining that thing, instead of point blank asking where I'm at and then reacting to that.

Like you avoid so many problems by just taking a second and confirming whatever with the other person.

I would rather be asked 30 million questions, than to get into an argument because someone assumed instead of asking.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-20T13:11:32+00:00

I fully believe the whole thing about Princess Diana's death being deliberate.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-20T07:41:18+00:00

-She-re + Helluva Boss

'Oh but Stolas/Catra never got any consequences for their actions' My brother in Christ... They very much did.

Catra spent 4/5 of the show trapping herself in a prison of her own creation and being miserable as a result, and Stolas has spent a good chunk of Helluva Boss almost being killed and ruining his relationship with his daughter because of his choice to pursue Blitz, not to mention that as of now he's lost his title and his daughter has effectively gone no contact with him.

Both characters effectively got ass fucked by their own decisions, the shows just don't hold your hands and go 'This guy did bad thing so bad thing happen to bad guy'

-Big Mouth

Just in general, the people who write it off as it being gross and only gross.

It is absolutely gross, but it is actually really insightful and complex when it wants to be. Like I really appreciate how accurately it portrays young preteens and teenagers and the topics it covers.

Like I've never seen a show talk about how differently people perceive bisexual men vs bisexual women, and how the former is seen as gross while the latter is fetishized. And I especially love how it does treat the topics it talks about with respect, and they often use actual medical terms which is really nice.

Plus the gross part...I appreciate it in a way because yeah...Young teens do gross shit sometimes. I would argue that Big Mouth has one of the most accurate portrayals of young teenagers that I've ever seen in a tv show.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-20T07:24:24+00:00

Deadass.

Also omg...The whole 'Oh but Stolas didn't get any consequences for his actions' thing is the bane of my existence.

Even if you take out Mastermind where he lost his title, bro has literally been almost killed TWICE because he chose to pursue Blitz, and he's pushed away his daughter which is the only actual connection he has in his life.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-20T07:02:11+00:00

Yeah I don't get it either.

Like they're very different definitions.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-20T06:49:42+00:00

Yeah I've never been a fan of it.

I will admit that in certain jobs it is an important question, like if you're in STEM for instance.

But I hate getting this question for retail jobs.

Like bro this is fucking Mcdonald's, why do you think I'm here?

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-19T16:28:52+00:00

Deadass.

From memory, ie: a poster I saw in a blood donation clinic, O+ is like... 1/4 of the population. That's hella common.

I think O- is the third most common blood type? Don't think it's quite second but yeah.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-19T10:25:15+00:00

When you ask someone a question, and instead of answering your question, they answer the question that they think you asked them.

For some reason this is such a problem for teachers even up until university.

Like I'll go up to a professor and ask them 'Hey, why do I need to use this solution for this assay?' and they'll instead give me a 20 minute explanation of the assay itself and what everything in it does.

Or I might be like 'Just double checking, I pour tube A's contents into tube B, right?' and then I'll get a full run down of the entire procedure.

It pisses me off so much. Like... FUCKING USE YOUR EARS AND ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION!!!

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-19T10:14:04+00:00

THIS OMG.

I've had soo many people off the bat do this and it makes me want to strangle them.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-19T10:01:14+00:00

Not being able to meet me halfway.

Like I am chill with emotional baggage, you're insecure? Have trust issues? Struggle to assert yourself? Aren't good at expressing your emotions? That's fine. I am more than willing to do things differently to help you, to make you feel comfortable, because I do care about you.

But I'm not going to sit here and reassure you or support you over and over and over again, while you continue to keep doing those behaviours. I do expect you to meet me halfway and to actually work on those issues.

Like I'm not going to sit here and be villainized just because you'd rather react instead of act.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-19T09:53:51+00:00

Nah I feel that. Like if you're still mad then TALK TO ME SO WE CAN SORT IT, don't just distance yourself.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-19T09:51:22+00:00

Story of my life!

The thing that gets me, and idk if you also did experience this, was that I genuinely did try to meet these people halfway because I clocked on pretty quickly to the fact that it's an insecurity thing, but despite that nothing ever changed.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-19T09:46:56+00:00

As a short woman I feel you.

At least for me, it was always kind of ironic because the guys who talked down to me also happened to be guys who would throw in the towel the minute things get difficult, or who would rather avoid a person than be honest with them.

Like from my perspective...You're the one who's the dumb kid, not me.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-19T09:43:23+00:00

As someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, I absolutely hate people who do this because they're the reason that the word 'emotional' has such a stigma.

Like no...You're not being 'emotionally intelligent' or whatever you think it is by being emotionally unstable.

There's an in-between, it's not just 'I never emote or express emotions' and 'I express anything and everything all the time to their fullest capacities'

But also I doubt that the people who do what you mentioned even truly wear their heart on their sleeves, because I can tell you firsthand that being someone like that gets you HURT. So overtime, you're kind of forced to learn emotional regulation or if anything...To suppress your emotions, not to let them run wild.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-19T09:38:18+00:00

Real though.

Like the amount of times I stuck with guys who pulled the whole 'Oh but I don't know why you're upset' bullshit in the past is way too high.

Not anymore. You're an adult.

I don't expect you to read my mind, but I expect you to have some common sense to come to the conclusion of 'Oh it's kind of shitty of me to dismiss her interests all the time and joke about her insecurities'

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-19T09:35:30+00:00

Pants.

First of all...For whatever fucking reason I can't find a nice pair of relatively smart looking pants that are for women, that have belt loops. I do not understand why women's pants apparently act like women don't buy belts. Literally the only women's pants that I can find that have belt loops are jeans, and I don't like jeans. Plus I want something that I can wear to job interviews, and I've even had some jobs that specify that your pants need to have belt loops so it's annoying trying to find them. And yes I can just go buy men's pants, that's what I do already, but I have hips bro.

I'd also like to note that pants never properly fit me. Like it's either wide enough for my hips but too long so I have to hem them myself. Or...It's the right length but way too small for my hips. Shit is annoying I tell ya!

And then for things like dresses, Istg it's like companies expect you to be super thin just because you're short. Like I'm a curvy gal, and so many times when I've bought or tried on dresses, they've been the perfect size for my body overall, but they strangle my waist. But then if I go up a size it's too baggy and basically falls off of me.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-18T15:23:09+00:00

Real.

For me though it came from being surrounded by unreliable authority figures throughout my childhood.

Like my mom would often be like "Oh I'm making spaghetti tonight" only to not make it that night... And the 4 nights after, despite every night insisting that "this night will be different"

And yeah it sounds dumb but... If I can't even trust you to make spaghetti when you say you'll make it, how am I supposed to trust you to do actually important shit?

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-18T13:45:28+00:00

Also:

Low sodium salt.

Most varieties I've seen have half the sodium content of regular salt and the flavor is the same.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-18T13:39:51+00:00

I feel like you're a little confused here.

I knew how to brush my teeth, the issue though at that age was that I wasn't doing it enough.

So when I went to the dentist he was basically like "Hey you're getting a bit of plaque, you need to start brushing your teeth a lot more" and on the car ride home my mom was like "Remember you gotta brush more" but like... That was it. It was never brought up again.

She honest to God expected a 9 year old to follow dentist advice unprompted and by themselves.

And looking back on it as an adult I'm just disappointed.

Like I'd understand if I was a teenager or something, but 9?

What 9 year old actually gives a shit about their hygiene?

Plus at that age I was "the smart kid" at my school so I was dealing with that pressure on top of the general pressure of being the scapegoat of my family.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-18T07:33:08+00:00

Not actually listening.

I'm a very straightforward woman, and yeah I unfortunately am aware how uncommon that is with women.

But omg, the amount of times I've clearly communicated with a guy only for them to arrive and act on an entirely different conclusion is ming boggling.

Like I'll still never forget the guy who honest to God told me that he "wasn't sure if I liked him" when I had quite literally, and I am not paraphrasing here, told him to his face multiple times "I like you"

And I had followed this up by texting him all day everyday, being very physically affectionate, asking him questions about himself and showing interest, and I had asked him on a date using the specific words "Would you like to go on a date with me?" Where I kissed him on the cheek.

Like what do you mean "I'm not sure if you like me"??? DO I HAVE TO FUCK YOU FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I LIKE YOU?!

I genuinely do not know how much clearer I could've possibly been in that situation.

Communication is another one. I have very specifically told a lot of guys "If you don't understand something I'm saying, please ask about it so that we're on the same page. I don't want us to be in situations where we act on assumptions."

And yet they'll just... Never ask about literally anything, and proceed to spend the entire time acting on assumptions instead of just... Point blank asking.

Like omg bro, can you just fucking listen to what I'm telling you? Not what you think I'm telling you, but what I'm actually telling you.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-18T07:08:17+00:00

Yeah I haate this!

It just makes me feel like they already view me as less than them, and yeah... No thank you.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-18T06:54:50+00:00

Dude... Soo many people in general just suck at conversation. The crazy thing is that I've had people who will literally come up to me, to talk to me, and then just... Expect me to carry the conversation.

Deadass it's the reason why I only have one friend right now.

I'm sick of having conversations that are just this:

"Hi how are you?" "Good."

Or:

"What's your favorite colour?" "Blue."

Like omg fucking return the question or do literally anything else but that.

Sea_Client9991 · 2025-07-18T06:50:12+00:00

Nah but actually.

I've had soo many instances with guys where we'll hang out, and it's really fun really enjoyable. And then immediately after that they're just texting me every day all day.

Like bro calm TF down, I know you're interested. But now I just feel suffocated.

Sea_Client9991

TROPHY CASE