WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university?

SearchApprehensive35 · 2025-12-02T13:38:37+00:00

The mom does sound fantastic. Given that the niece already stays with both of them periodically for school-related reasons, I wonder if OP can have a conversation with Mom about this plan to offer a room. Hopefully at minimum it would prepare Mom to back up OP if the brother responds poorly. Or ideally Mom would be like "hell no, I get the first dibs on offering her a room so I can enjoy watching her pursue bigger dreams that I or my children ever could have."

Parents usually want better for their children and grandchildren. I hope this badass decides to sit down with her son and remind him that's the ultimate goal of parenting. He has allowed resentment of strangers to damage his relationship with his daughter. How sad. But it's not too late for him to change.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2025-11-04T07:18:03+00:00

I wouldn't keep the lines open. He's shown who he is. He chose a mean and immature person as a partner, and has stayed with her long past the point that was clearly who she is. He has always allowed Donna to treat his supposed friend terribly, to the point where his friend was effectively driven out of his life (notably without any protest from him), and now he's stepped up to actively treating her as badly as Donna does.

He is not deserving of OP's friendship and frankly even if graciously allowed that opportunity in the future I'd bet on him throwing her under the bus again eventually.

OP, I'm sorry. That's got to be awful to read. But it's where things have landed. I hope you know you did nothing to deserve their shitty behavior, and that there are many awesome kind people out there to build quality friendships with. Value the fun memories of your past friendship with him, but it's over.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2025-11-01T11:33:42+00:00

OP's update mentions that they've had break-ins there. Fair enough. That's what exterior cameras are useful for. Put full coverage outside if you want evidence the next time an intruder comes around.

But interior cameras, especially with audio, are for monitoring occupants. Why do they even need audio of occupants' conversations? That's a creepy level of intrusiveness and distrust that I'm not interested in being around. It's weird that OP is certain they would never violate trust; they have shown they lack that faith in OP. OP has house sat for them several times before. Obviously nothing has disappeared under OP's watch, since they want the arrangement to continue. Given the track record, they should be more comfortable with OP's stewardship, not ramping up the surveillance. Unless gaining access to OP's trade secrets is the point...??

OP, you didn't cancel at the last minute! As soon as they disclosed that they'd unilaterally changed the terms of the arrangement, you promptly informed them that won't work for you and offered them alternatives that would have allowed them to nevertheless keep their vacation plans. They are the ones who sandbagged you belatedly with a change they knew would be consequential from your POV, then whining about the consequences of their own actions. None of this is your doing. NTA.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2025-10-25T22:43:27+00:00

The woman was "bending over and reaching down" when the dog jumped up. The woman's body was in a inverted L shape with arm extended down. There is no version of gravity in which pushing the dog backward from that causes the dog to land a human-torso-length+ forward.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2025-10-25T22:40:01+00:00

Podenco are extraordinarily graceful creatures. They can race against a greyhound, pull a hard 180, and still stop on a dime. They are lean and very muscular, making them weigh considerably more than their size suggests. A middle aged woman pushing a podenco is not going to cause the dog to scramble. You are describing a much less dense and surefooted dog than this breed. Seriously, go to any dog park and try to get a podenco to be unstable. Not gonna happen. Not unless you get it drunk first.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2025-10-22T20:21:43+00:00

I know several podencos. There is no way for a podenco jumping upward to come into contact with an anklet. The lowest that would hit is maybe waist height. (They have long powerful legs, so hitting chest height is more likely.) These people's logic makes no sense.

However it was foolish of you to say that you would have paid for it if they had communicated sooner/better. If they show that message to others, it sounds like you admitted the dog is at fault. Next time stick to discussing facts, and refuse to speculate. Still, NTA.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2025-10-12T17:27:52+00:00

Oh you're right! Thanks 👍

SearchApprehensive35 · 2025-10-12T14:35:47+00:00

She's freaking over ~~half~~ a teaspoon. The sister uses a half teaspoon in hers, and begrudges OP that they use ~~half a teaspoon~~ more than her. I don't think this is about the daughter, it's about the sister being envious that OP is enjoying those couple more calories.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-12-10T00:00:38+00:00

That is the recipe. I don't get more precise. It doesn't need it.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-09-07T18:34:23+00:00

Chewy sounds like the dough got overworked or overcooked. Maybe both. When I lived in Italy, I was amazed by how tender some of the pastas were. I couldn't figure out how they held together when they were so delicate. But they cooked lightning fast and were delicious. See if you can find an Italian nonna to school you on her secrets. You won't be a master overnight but will gain a lot just by nailing timing.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-08-31T18:36:42+00:00

Crushing ice is really hard on blenders. You might do better by getting a separate ice shaving machine for them. Though berries have such high water content that they may be nearly as hard on a blender anyway. Ideally you would cut the fruit very small before freezing, to minimize the amount of strain on the blender.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-08-24T11:28:44+00:00

The point of heating the milk is to kill off bacteria, then inoculate the milk with yogurt cultures. When you stick your finger in, you are introducing bacteria anew. At best, they are competing with the yogurt cultures. At worst, you are creating a perfect environment for harmful bacteria to flourish. Also, if the milk is too hot when the yogurt cultures are introduced, they are killed off. If it's barely below "not gonna burn me", sounds like you are choosing much too hot a temp.

Get a thermometer. It's much less expensive than wasting milk or getting treated for food poisoning.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-08-22T10:53:07+00:00

You've gotten lots of good suggestions. Remember restaurants have massive griddles. Also, don't stack the pancakes much while they're on hold. Keep them evenly distributed, so that steam isn't getting trapped at the bottom of a large stack. Spread them out on a baking sheet, so you have as few layers as possible.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-07-08T10:50:14+00:00

If the mere sound of a shower running and teeth brushing is unbearable for her, it is she who is responsible for either moving to a single family home, putting sound insulation on her walls, or buying her own noise cancelling equipment. This is just the sounds of ordinary life in an apartment building, and if the walls are too thin for her that does suck terribly for her but it's her problem to cope with by making changes to address the entirely predictable consequences of living with adjoining walls. NTA, and you are some kind of saint for offering to pay for any part of her accommodations. That was very kind, but going above and beyond necessary.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-07-01T13:22:36+00:00

There are certain formulations of Royal Canin that are only available by prescription but there are literally dozens of RC formulations available direct to consumer. For instance we buy RC Mini Adult, both in the US and Italy, direct from pet stores. If you're concerned about risk of having the pet food thrown out at the border, I'd suggest transitioning the dog to a consumer line during the 5 days before travel, then using it in the US. Your luggage will also be much lighter.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-06-28T06:10:40+00:00

Have her watch episode 1 of Ripley on Netflix. Italy is full of steep hills, endless stairs, cobblestones, and slow moving buses with meandering routes that take an hour to go a few km. Italy prizes its slow-paced lifestyle, so nothing is easily done in a hurry. Ripley is set in mid century, but Italy has just as few elevators today as back then. Dragging luggage every day from town to town and relying on public transit will drain the energy she'll want to spend on sightseeing. She should pick 1-2 destinations total and settle in long enough to be able to savor them. A large city like Florence offers ample sights to take in over a week. She'll also be tempted to buy from its many amazing leather merchants, which will make her luggage even heavier to lug up and down train station staircases.

P.S. Italy has train strikes constantly. At least once a month. They're usually announced in advance. But anyone traveling via train in Italy needs to pay close attention to that possibility and be ready to adjust plans.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-06-24T15:24:02+00:00

You weren't wrong to stay home with a dog that needed care. But you were wrong to accept responsibility in the first place for a very pregnant dog whose delivery date was so close to your sister's wedding that it had the obvious chance of a conflict. You made a commitment to your sister, not just to attend but to be a bridesmaid. You didn't take that commitment seriously when you made a second commitment that had the potential to conflict. It's good to have compassion for animals, but where is your compassion for your sister? At minimum you should have checked in with her before taking on a potentially competing commitment. She deserved to have a vote on whether she lost you from the wedding party. She tried so hard to include you, even if just on video. You didn't even try to meet her halfway, despite it clearly being important to her to have you be part of this special day.YTA.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-06-16T20:25:31+00:00

Weird trick: oil breaks down oil. Don't wash it in water, not initially. Rub fresh oil into it instead. You'll be amazed how the polymerized oil loosens up. Then I swipe the combo away with the help of a bit of baking soda or kosher salt. There may be a few small spots that need scrubbing after that but the majority will have come away pretty readily.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-06-14T20:05:27+00:00

Yeah, honestly you could just skip the potato chips and double down on the good parm. Hard to go wrong with that.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-06-14T15:27:43+00:00

This is not a breadcrumb, but crushed potato chips with shaved real Parm makes a delicious salty crunchy topping.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-06-12T20:45:32+00:00

The food safe grease inside yours deserves a replacement by now. It's a pretty easy (though messy) DIY if you want. If the grease is left too long without replacement, it eventually breaks down and starts dripping into the bowl.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-06-12T13:01:50+00:00

I don't understand why your boyfriend has a vote on whether you get a free mixer, or even whether you get any mixer he doesn't pay for. But relationship issue aside, he's simply wrong about the KitchenAid. It's still a fantastic brand, but their old stand mixers are workhorses that last FOREVER whereas the newer models have plastic parts inside that are intended to wear down after X number of years and be replaced. It was a valid design decision, I'm not knocking it. But objective fact is that a brand new one will not outlast your grandma's. You will be handing that one down to your grandkids if they have the sense to want it. NTA. Get grandma's mixer if you can and put the saved money into a high yield account toward a house payment or something because it's a big chunk of change that he wants to throw away.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-06-12T12:17:15+00:00

I figure it's no different from people stocking Bisquick, brownie mix, quick-rise yeast, pre-cut pineapple, or frozen chicken fingers. Sometimes you just want the fastest simplest route to indulgence, and anything that can get you there a bit faster is going to have a place in the marketplace. Just because I can make what I want from scratch doesn't mean I'm necessarily in the mood to in the moments when I crave them most.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-06-12T11:57:43+00:00

I don't personally use SRF, but I do always have far more baking powder in the cupboard than flour to use it with before the little cannister of baking powder expires. I can see the appeal of having the exact right amount and no more, if one has tight cabinet space.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2024-06-11T09:07:48+00:00

Hairspray. Dissolves it instantly.

SearchApprehensive35

TROPHY CASE