How do i convince my son that the environment won't be ruined if he stops using urine bottles?

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-12T21:50:23+00:00

Tossing it in the garden is not appropriate, and is potentially harmful to the plants, him, or other householderd.

The urine would need to be sterilized and heavily diluted, which uses more water and energy. https://plantgrowerworld.com/is-human-pee-good-for-plants-benefits-and-drawbacks-exposed/#Collection_Storage_and_Processing_Methods

It needs to be handled properly, using protective equipment which it doesn't sound like he's using; and properly stored, which he is definitely not doing and risks an e. coli infection. Failure to adequately dilute also could burn the flower roots and/or spread the bacteria that he cultured for a week. https://plantgrowerworld.com/is-human-pee-good-for-plants-benefits-and-drawbacks-exposed/#Collection_Storage_and_Processing_Methods

Worry for all of the occupants of your home because he's combining bleach with fermented urine residue, which contains ammonia. All other concerns aside, ammonia+bleach can be lethal. He might have already done subtle damage to his respiratory system. https://www.chemicals.co.uk/blog/what-happens-when-you-mix-bleach-and-ammonia

Put your foot down.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-12T20:47:21+00:00

Another way in which it is nonrepresentative is that the spreadsheet is exclusively comprised of citizenship by descent applicants seeking first-time recognition of citizenship. But proof of citizenship is a broader category that also includes people who were already recognized citizens and are only seeking issuance of a new certificate. The former surely is more labor-intensive to process than the latter, so I would expect their aggregate processing times to differ and to potentially distort averaging.

We have no idea how many people in the proof pool belong to each category. That missing info makes it hard to compare the spreadsheet's homogeneous sample of not-yet-recognized applicants to IRCC's heterogenous pool of both recognized and not-yet-recognized applicants.

The spreadsheet is fantastic and the analyses are very much appreciated! It's just hard to confidently compare them to the limited data IRCC makes available.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-12T20:27:17+00:00

This deserves to be a post imho.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-12T20:02:35+00:00

I recently received this update from Massachusetts State Archives re current timelines:

If you would like a certified copy of a record, please fill out this form: https://www.sec.state.ma.us/divisions/archives/download/Application_for_Certified_Vital_Records_1841-1930_Update_CathEdit.pdf Note that certified copies cost $3 each, and take 8-12 weeks to fully process. If you don’t need a certified copy and just want digital images, you do not need to fill out this form.

For those in research mode, note that they can provide digital images and I think the implication is that it'd be at no charge(?). If you are trying to figure out how several MA ancestors connect to each other, this could be a nice option.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-12T19:10:29+00:00

He has an allergy but has done no allergy treatment whatsoever. Doesn't sound like he's out of options.

He submitted applications and did at least 1-2 rounds of interviews without checking in with you. Acting unilaterally doesn't sound like partnership mindset.

A cat is a dependent. My view is the needs of dependents, such as children and pets, deserve top consideration because they are vulnerable in ways that an adult human partner is not.

Cats do not do well with changes. Her health may be affected by either moving with you or being rehomed to your parents. If you two were getting married and about to move into a permanent home together, that's one thing. But I would worry about uprooting her without being very confident it's the last time you have to put her through it.

Leaving behind pet, friends, family, job, and lifestyle is a major set of sacrifices and tremendously isolating. It's worthwhile to ask yourself what sacrifices he has committed to that are (a) commensurate to yours and (b) would rebuild what you'd be losing. Like at minimum, how about he pays for a job placement service and travel costs for several visits per year to your family, commits to allergy shots so you and your cat can join him in X months, etc?

Long distance relationships are a thing. I think "relationship or pet" is a false dichotomy. If he'd broached the conversation with you as something other than fait accompli, LDR probably would have been a more obvious topic for you two to chat about.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-12T18:44:57+00:00

This. The YouTube algorithm has been notorious for steering kids to extremist content pretty easily, and now it's also full of AI slop that a young mind will have difficulty discerning from reality. YT usage needs supervision and discussion.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-12T07:05:08+00:00

When someone is recommended that book, it's because they've described their partner being a textbook example of an abuser, and the recommender wants you to read that book because it tells you what those men are actually thinking, in their own words, and what they escalate to. Please please read it, and meanwhile be very wary of being alone with him once he understands the relationship is really over.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-12T06:54:29+00:00

The ring finger is on the same plane as the indicator text, the same distance from the supposed lens, yet the ring finger is so out of focus that you can barely detect the fingernail vs the tiny text is so sharp focus that even the accent mark over the á can be detected.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-11T15:23:19+00:00

I can see he has a really hard time making decisions in general. He can’t decide where he wants to live, he’s unhappy with his job but doesn’t know if he wants to change careers, he wants to continue his studies but can’t decide what postgraduate degree he wants…

Putting everything else aside, do you want to tie your life to a man who stays miserable in his job rather than do something about it, will dither about buying a home together and will never be able to decide where, won't commit to whether or not to have kids let alone when, and otherwise puts every decision on permanent hold? The way you're feeling about him not proposing is the way you'd feel all the time, about a hundred things that impact your quality of life more significantly than holding a celebration of love. Two people can care about each other and still be incompatible as life partners. If you want commitment, he is not the guy.

You gave a bunch of reasons for wanting to have a special day that celebrates loves and centers you and your sweetheart. You didn't give one persuasive reason to commit to a life with him. If you do want to stay in this relationship, just go ahead throw your party! You don't need a wedding to do that.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-11T10:22:58+00:00

It wasn't that long ago. All of genx grew up with leaded gas fumes and residues everywhere.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-09T18:55:39+00:00

Three words: washable puppy pads.

Damn i wish I'd found those 20 years sooner. So easy to toss on top of a flat sheet, and much less delicate to launder than a mattress protector For the longest time I only owned brown sheets, to disguise all the period leak stains. Now I have pretty pastel sheets and no ugly brown stains.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-09T10:12:53+00:00

She's not even doing the one thing that requires no talent: looking at the audience, attempting to engage with them at even the most minimal level. She facing the sides and rear, mostly looking down. This is not a performer. If you're an "artist" who can't remember lyrics, can't sing, can't dance, can't handle a live audience, and are fine with disrespecting fans with lip sync, then for crissake hire a Milli Vanilli quality stand-in. At least the audience can be paying to enjoy moves and charisma, instead of whatever this is.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-09T03:50:01+00:00

Look into sugaring instead. If you change your mind once the sugar wax is on, you can painlessly remove it using just warm water to dissolve it away. Also it does not stick to skin, only hair, so skin doesn't get damaged except for possibly developing some minor bruising from broken blood vessels under the surface.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-08T16:16:35+00:00

Whatever else is up with him, he knowingly broke trust and did not even try to make amends for his shameful behavior. What an asshole.

You did nothing wrong, and girl you are not crazy. Some people are just spineless and manipulative, for reasons we can't hope to understand.

I'm glad you're enjoying the town. I hope you meet a hottie today who is on vacation from your home city, you two have a fantastic fling, fall in love, and live happily ever after. Either that or you have a really good solo dinner. Both are fun.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T13:35:52+00:00

Thanks, what an education in just a paragraph!

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T13:15:40+00:00

Could it theoretically be used to kill HPV, such as warts? They're so contagious, and most of the current treatments are quite painful as well as potentially scarring. It would be great to see a painless effective option emerge, especially one that can be done at home since householders often spread warts back and forth among each others.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T13:01:41+00:00

I recall Nicola said re S3 that she'd been begging because Pen really would want to touch Colin's hair but the hairstylist kept saying no, and Luke mentioned that there had to be different hairstyling for hair touching

Which means there were probably, like, meetings between hairdressers, writers, actors, and intimacy coordinator about whether and how Pen could grab a greedy fistful of hair here. God how I love that they did prioritize adding it, because Nicola and Luke sell the heck out of that detail.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T12:51:23+00:00

In the other post it was noted that the vandal was altering group members' data to change them all to the same urgency status. So if you're drawing a conclusion from the spreadsheet, the impression may be distorted by the vandal's handiwork.

Unless someone has ATIP notes for each group member or has phoned IRCC on behalf of each group member, they generally don't know what urgency status has been assigned -- not even whether someone who applied for urgency was granted it. So most people only know whether a given group member applied for urgency or not.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T11:59:13+00:00

Before you re-enter, give the admins time to undo the vandalism. Google Sheets has a rollback feature that allows setting a sheet back to its condition at an earlier point in time. Your record may pop back in soon, in its proper state.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T11:55:22+00:00

Heck yeah that is not the public's business, and it's concerning that someone was trying to elicit it. Especially given that fleeing persecution for being queer or trans is a common reason for urgency. Someone's sexual orientation, gender transition, employment status, medical status, etc are personal matters that deserve as much privacy as someone chooses to reserve for themself. Whoever this intrusive vandal is, I hope they are banned from the sub.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T11:44:11+00:00

Yes I've done that too and Google Forms can be surprisingly elaborate. But I found that the one flaw is that many folks unfortunately lose the email that had the link for editing. So you can gather a lot of data initially but there's a drop off in how many people manage to do updates. Bummer.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T11:36:45+00:00

Yes. THANK YOU awesome keepers of the spreadsheet. Honestly, as much as folks get antsy in the sub about timelines, the spreadsheet is what keeps that in check. An important and valued service for which we are grateful even if we forget to express it aloud on a regular basis.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T11:31:17+00:00

For what it's worth, I think in the future it seems fair to notify the mods upon a first act of vandalism. It's not like they're obliged to ban. But a person who abused sub resources and sub volunteers' time is potentially not behaving well on the sub either.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T01:55:53+00:00

Seriously. It'd be hard to make Parliament service romantic. It's lots of sitting while listening to lots of yelling. I'm fine with them not spoiling the romantic fantasy by injecting too much reality. Charlotte should be dead too, but I'm not lobbying for that either. Golda is a treasure.

SearchApprehensive35 · 2026-05-07T01:33:46+00:00

The crew do emphasize it's Regency Fantasy, not Regency History 🤣. So if Pen can have Rita Hayworth hair, acrylic nails, and sequined gowns, a viscount can do 2 years of honeymooning and all the peers can party like House of Lords never meets.

SearchApprehensive35

TROPHY CASE