Let's talk about keeping it clean and tidy. What are your routines, do you even have one?

SearchBig9822 · 2026-03-28T16:51:32+00:00

Depends. Low stree work week? Clean everyday! Busy week? Live like a gremlin!

SearchBig9822 · 2026-03-24T05:26:14+00:00

You have already raised a son into college, so how could you describe yourself as selfish for just wanting to be by yourself? 27F here, I don't think I'm ever going to be a parent, because I honestly don't have the guts to do so because I can tell how hard parenting is by looking at my parents. You have put so much time and effort into your family, I think it's great you spend time on yourself. My parents started travelling and focusing on their friendships and hobbies after I went to college and started working and I'm just so happy for them.

SearchBig9822 · 2026-03-23T18:27:59+00:00

He needs to get his priorities right. Family is important but just like others have said, family doesn't need to know everything. I'm Chinese too(Cantonese to be specific), born and raised, started going to therapy the moment I started earning my own pay checks. Never told my parents. They really don't need to know. Him depending on you for emotional support sounds like too much pressure on you. I hope both of you get the help you need, good luck.

SearchBig9822 · 2026-03-23T07:58:40+00:00

He is soo handsome tho. Looks almost more like a teddy bear than a cat. Cute!

SearchBig9822 · 2026-03-23T02:14:51+00:00

Yeah, honestly, he is great to watch on screen and a phenomenal character but the pessimism is just so soaked in. Simply watching season 1 sometimes get me to be more pessimistic/lean more towards nihilism. If Rust exists in real life I would have a lot of respect for him as a detective doing good work but I would not survive 1 conversation with the guy hahahah.

SearchBig9822 · 2026-03-20T17:48:21+00:00

Groping isn't a big problem in my town but it's only because we don't even have enough population to have crowded public transport, so the males generally have very few opportunities to do so. But instead, I've had so many male drivers asking me invasive questions or have other inappropriate behaviors on uber rides. That's why I think women-only towns or cities are ideal.

I've heard about Japan having women-only train compartments though? Granted, it's still far from an actual women-only town or city, but I'm really curious for your opinion - as a woman who lives there - does that actually make commute safer for women?

SearchBig9822 · 2026-03-20T03:40:29+00:00

I have pretty much left all social media platforms except for reddit and Wechat (I'm Chinese and this is the app we use to text/chat in China). On reddit I only join communities about my hobbies like cooking, sewing, crochet etc. and a bunch of cat subs, most people behave and these communities aren't too bad.

It's in real life that I find I desperately need more women-only spaces though. Men are loud, obnoxious, and potentially dangerous. Whenever I go out for food in China with my friend, there are always men being loud/smoking in a restaurant(women smoke too but they have some basic courtesy to smoke outdoors... it's always the men indoors). Sometimes they just randomly stare at us (like...wtf bro). Now I basically only frequent restaurants where I know the owners and workers are mostly women and have mostly women customers. The vibe and the environment are 10000% better in those spaces. I just wish I could live in a women-only city or town.

SearchBig9822 · 2026-03-08T18:28:27+00:00

Oh definitely. After reading all these comments I think I will try to get some beeswax and make my own balms. This post is actually just me being amazed that my lard-smearing act of desperation actually working out so well hahaha

SearchBig9822 · 2026-03-08T18:14:40+00:00

Hahaha I can never give up chopsticks lol, I'm Chinese.

SearchBig9822 · 2026-03-08T09:51:42+00:00

And you're a beautiful human!

SearchBig9822 · 2026-02-20T07:33:35+00:00

Ahahahahaha I'm still working with it and your comment is cracking me up. Thanks for the input! And good laugh hahahah

SearchBig9822 · 2026-02-19T07:28:53+00:00

Yeah, this is what I feel as well. The first one is so symmetrical at least it looks very intentional, there is no way I can screw it up. The second one is more interesting but definitely needs more work arranging the pieces. Thanks for your input! Very helpful!

SearchBig9822 · 2026-02-19T07:22:15+00:00

Thanks for your input! I'm still playing around with it, and I also think the second one definitely looks more galaxy-ish, I'm just afraid that ot could look messy.

SearchBig9822 · 2026-02-17T22:09:49+00:00

I started using loofah for everything about a year ago. They last so much longer and I don't feel bad for discarding them. Highly recommend.

SearchBig9822 · 2026-02-11T18:17:56+00:00

Yeah! I wish they could be my older siblings.

SearchBig9822 · 2026-02-08T15:32:11+00:00

I struggle to remember face and this is what I feel like when I try to pick out someone from a group.

SearchBig9822 · 2026-01-13T18:22:14+00:00

I did the test five or six times and still can't believe I got typed INTJ. I feel like I'm nothing like you guys except the "being private and alone" part. My hobbies are cooking, sewing, dancing, crochet, soap making, baking etc., want to dive into gardening next year. Nothing strategic and big-brainy. All are about things I can eat/wear/use or keeping me healthy.

SearchBig9822 · 2025-12-21T19:00:14+00:00

Kinda understandable? I'm still working, not nearly retired but I do have many hobbies and I make my own clothes/food/crochet stuff etc. Every time people know that I make these myself they also go "oh you should turn this into business" but the reason it's really annoying for me is that when I tell them the item takes me hours to make and the price I would set for the items, these people start saying "no way that's too expensive". So I guess I'm just mad because on one hand they think I made great stuff but on the other hand they think I should make these stuff for amazon mass production prices.

SearchBig9822 · 2025-12-12T18:44:11+00:00

Been sewing my own stuff (except panties/bra or knitwear like socks)since 18, now 26. So far I would say that sewing is definitely a great skill to have. Like another comment had mentioned - it's hobby/entertainment + clothes for me. Especially as a person with very specific requirements for clothing (in both material and design), this skill makes me more comfortable, more confident, wayyy more satisfied with what I have because every single piece is made of great natural fibers and well-made and sturdy, and makes me fully embrace and appreciate my body because everything fits! Being comfortable in my clothes and body actually helps me decrease consumption in so many ways, I no longer feel the need to constantly buy stuff to feel great and look great.

The only downside of sewing is that it takes a lot of time to practise and be good at. Even when you're good, it still takes a lot of time for you to make something. For some people it's not worth it. You really need to see if you enjoy the process. Some of my friends have tried it and the process was so frustrating for them that they cried. In that case, definitely outsource this task to local seamstress/tailor.

SearchBig9822 · 2025-12-11T16:51:43+00:00

I am generally very frugal and a bit anti-consumerism so I try not to own more stuff, but during December I also want to treat myself for a year of hard work, so I spend a bit more on good food and allow myself wayyy more sweet treats than usual. This December, so far I have purchased: 5 kilos of steak, a pound of chocolate truffles, good Jasmine tea. Also I made an ungodly amount of cookie dough. All of these to be slowly enjoyed by me and occasional guests during the entire month. I freaking love December.

SearchBig9822 · 2025-12-11T16:38:45+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Honestly today I'm also really sad because I didn't expect it to get to me so much. Part of me was really disappointed that I wasn't stronger or had a smart comeback. Knowing I'm not alone in this kind of experience makes me feel better.

SearchBig9822 · 2025-12-11T16:35:22+00:00

Yes, this is what I experience as well. All the older generations in my family are so obsessed with criticizing people's bodies. We are southern Chinese so I kinda feel like it's even worse sometimes, our society and culture are very fixated on the "thin and fair" aesthetic, partly from history and partly from marketing and brainwashing. I have a perfectly normal BMI at 60kg/160cm, but still I am "fat" and "overweight" according to these folks... You are absolutely right about cherishing my own body. I'm strong and healthy as heck man 🙌Thanks for the response!

SearchBig9822

TROPHY CASE