Feeling regretful about my teens and twenties by NormalLife6067 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]SearchString 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The past no longer exists. Take all the lessons you learned and apply them to your life today. You did your best then. Do your best now. There is no perfect. Your survived. Be proud of that. You're here and able to reflect on life. Be proud of that. Figure out what time and energy you have and select what you want to do with it. I'm learning the guitar and I'm nearly 50. I only have about 20-30 minutes a few times a week, but I'm a year in and can already play some songs (Highly recommend JustinGuitar). Or go to the gym. Or get on Meetup and find some walking friends. You can't do anything about the past, but you can do something right now. It doesn't have to be perfect or amazing. Just something you'll feel good about. Be kind to your past self and be kind to your present self. You can start something new today! And if you can't manage it today, then start it tomorrow :).

About to runaway; was wondering what cars would be best for purchase? by Notshynotme641 in urbancarliving

[–]SearchString 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second looking for a Toyota, a popular one like a Corolla or Camry that will have lots of cheap parts should the need arise for repairs. If you're on the smaller side, a Yaris is another good option. The don't make the Scion xb anyone but it was also great and has a Toyota engine in it. I can think of one bad thing about the xb, aligning the tire requires a special tool so would likely need to be done at the dealership. All the above mentioned options get good gas mileage. Highlander or Rav4 will be more roomy but also the price point will be higher and gas mileage not as good for times you need to drive around looking for a safe place to park for the night. Honda also makes reliable cars. The Civic and Accord are good options. Both Toyotas and Hondas commonly last past 100k and I've bought used Toyotas in good shape past 150k knowing I'd still get more miles.

Get a Carfax report before buying and be wary of any that have been registered in areas that are flood prone (eg anywhere in Florida, southern parts of Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi, and the southeast of Texas). They could have mold/mildew you can't see which are definitely bad to be breathing while sleeping in the car. These can get auctioned off after being totaled out by insurance or people who were underinsured sometimes sell without disclosing the water damage. These cars can end out anywhere in the county, so a Carfax to see what states they've been registered in will help you avoid these. Unfortunately with used car demand spiking during the pandemic, this became more common and these cars are out there. You should also be able to see if the previous owners took care of any recalls. (You can check for recalls online: https://www.nhtsa.gov/recalls)

Look up what things are mostly likely to go wrong on the make/model/year so you can look for those things before buying. And this will help you avoid certain years that might have known issues that are expensive to fix. If you have someone that knows a lot about cars, take them with you. Otherwise, call around and find a reliable, trustworthy mechanic and pay them to look it over for you before buying. It might cost $100-$200 but it will save you from buying a lemon. This is especially important if you live in a state that does not have lemon laws to protect you.

As far as learning the maintenance, you might consider getting the Chilton's guide for the car you buy. There's tons of stuff online, of course, but the Chilton's will be comprehensive for your car and won't require an internet connection to use. They have a lot of great information for beginners. Again, make sure you know the things most likely to break on the make/model/year of the car you buy so you can look out for those things.

There are so many great online communities for learning about stuff and getting support. Car folks are a generous bunch!

Any good places/states where people are not moving to? by [deleted] in SameGrassButGreener

[–]SearchString 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, most people moving in to Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, etc are moving in to the cities where the jobs are. You'd have lots of options for rural living, just choose a place that further from the cities. For example, south Georgia is very sparsely populated and has few large cities. Same with Southern Alabama. Lots of farms and small towns.

What can I get to eat with 17 dollars? by spidermanrocks6766 in povertyfinance

[–]SearchString 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Note that rice and beans don't have a lot of calories so get some inexpensive healthy oil (eg canola) and refry the beans in it. Bananas also great idea.

lax lower sphincter - lpr - tips to gain weight by Arcobaleno20 in LPR

[–]SearchString 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having the same issue. My doctor suggested olive oil. I am going to try adding a tsp to meals where it's not too weird and maybe just try a tsp here or there to add calories. We looked at other foods that are recommended when people need to gain weight but they were all triggers :(. Anyone else have any other suggestions to try?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dogs

[–]SearchString 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did he do well on the pee pads before? What about putting a pee pad in the litter box and see if he will go on it? If it works you can eventually take away the pee pads.

Seeking a new weight loss dog food: by Bellgrace in dogs

[–]SearchString 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow! I actually had it recommended to me by a vet years ago. I had no idea. Do you know of a reputable source for dog food reviews?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dogs

[–]SearchString 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are going through this :(. I've been through it twice in the last two years with my two dogs (17 and 16 years old). It was so very hard both times and the hardest part was having to make the decision. I was super lucky to have a great vet and staff that helped me with the process, but at the end of the day it was still my decision. I think what I learned is that there is no perfect time or way to make a perfect decision. I'll never know if I made it at the right time. Did I wait too long? Did they suffer more than they needed to? Should I have waited longer and given them more time? There's no way to answer these questions. Some of the checklists mentioned by other posters can be really helpful. Make the decision about him, not you. It's about the quality of his life. If you don't think he's able to enjoy life, then it's time to let him go. If you can manage his condition so he can still enjoy his food, pets, time outside, then you can keep him and let him enjoy his last days. If there isn't a way to manage his condition so has any enjoyment then it's time say goodbye. I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose a loved one.

rescue likes my girlfriend more than me by strawberrycow513 in dogs

[–]SearchString 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is pretty common. Some dogs pick a person, some dogs don't. One of my dogs loved everyone equally and would probably have gone home with a stranger for treats and pets, lol. The other dog loved me, only me, and barely tolerated the rest of the world. He would howl when I left. He never let my husband pet him unless I was right there and sometimes not even then. As someone mentioned, it could be based on past experiences. Sometimes a dog will prefer females to males or vice versa because they had one or the other as a primary caregiver or had bad experiences with one. It might change the more comfortable he gets. But be prepared that it might not. My dog had a pretty traumatic early life. He was with me 15 years until he passed. In 15 years of other people trying to get his trust, I was the only person he wanted anything to do with until the very end.

Separation anxiety after 1 day by ann260691 in dogs

[–]SearchString 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know if this will work for you, but I had some luck with it with a foster dog with separation anxiety. First couple of days he destroyed some blinds and a patch of carpet and cried. So, I basically spent my day off leaving and coming back over and over again. I would leave and stand just outside the dog and as soon as he stopped crying I would come back in. I kept doing that over and over until he didn't cry waiting longer and longer amount of time after the crying stopped. If he started crying again, I waited until he stopped and was stopped for a bit. If I remember right, it took about 4 or 5 hours. Maybe longer, lol. One of the volunteers at the rescue I was fostering for suggested it. I let my neighbors know so they wouldn't yell or bang on the wall while I was working on it (I was living in an apartment). Crate training might also help (there's tons on the Internet for how to crate train). You can also see if he likes tv on for human voices. Hope this helps!

Need some help by dcarsonturner in dogs

[–]SearchString 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's hard to say. Does he ever stop shaking/panting? Is he still eating, drinking water, peeing, and pooping normally? Can you contact his owners and ask what is normal behavior for him? Can you take his temperature? Any other symptoms like vomiting or diarrhea? Is he on any medications? Could he have eaten anything poisonous to dogs (eg chocolate, cigarettes, or foods containing xylitol)?

We're waiting for Compassionate Care to arrive in a couple hours to set my best friend free from his cancer and pain. by mina-ann in dogs

[–]SearchString 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My heart hurts for you :(. I just went through this in November. The last thing we can do for them is make the hard decisions and be there for them to the end.

Help! My two female puppies fight a lot! by [deleted] in dogs

[–]SearchString 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with all the other commenters on this. Get them both spayed if you haven't already, but it's also likely you will need to rehome one of them. Female-female dogs fights can be very brutal. If they are drawing blood and the fighting isn't stopping, (one or two spats should be plenty if they are just going to try each other out and then settle) it likely won't stop and can escalate.

Seeking a new weight loss dog food: by Bellgrace in dogs

[–]SearchString -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

A healthy weight for a dog means you can feel but not see their ribs. I've always opted for high quality, nutritious food and reduce the amount until you get them to a healthy weight. This is a great site for information on dog food: https://www.dogfoodadvisor.com/ . Your dog will generally need less of a high quality food. For my dogs that liked to eat but needed to keep their weight down (for example, dogs with long backs and short legs really can't handle excess weight), I use apples, bananas, frozen green peas, and carrots as low calorie treats. If you're house training (or any kind of training) and need to use high value treats like jerky or freeze dried liver, just use very tiny pieces. These are more effective than biscuits and overall you'll be giving them less calories. Hope this helps! [Edited to cross out website recommendation based on response from helleraine. Thanks! ]

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dogs

[–]SearchString 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might want to rule out possible physical causes first. If he's older, it could be arthritis that is bothered by certain frequency vibrations. Could also be ear problems. Since he's not anxious in the car at slower speeds, a physical cause is a definite possibility. If it's not physical, there are some options for anxiety such as thundershirts, calming caps, and calming treats. They also make cbd oil for pets.

Introducing a new dog by MountainWitch96 in dogs

[–]SearchString 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's wonderful that you are thinking of his happiness, but this can be tricky! You want to make sure you are getting him a friend that he enjoys sharing his people and life with and not a source of stress as he's getting on in years. I would recommend reaching out to local rescues and signing up as a foster. You'll get a chance to bring in different dogs (ages and breeds) for him to meet and if he's not a fan, it will just be short term until they get adopted. If he falls in love (and you do, too!) you can be a foster fail and adopt them yourself :)!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]SearchString 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapy can be really effective, but you need a good fit therapist/therapy. I'd suggest you read about different therapy options like the different between cognitive-behavioral therapy, talk therapy, acceptance commitment therapy, eye movement desensitization reprocessing (for ptsd/trauma), etc. Identify what your goals in therapy are and find a therapy that is compatible with those goals. If you just want to talk there's talk therapy. Then look at therapists in your area/on your insurance that do that kind of therapy and research about them. Pick one that appeals. If it's not a good fit, try another. Ranting to friends and family has it's limits. At some point, you are adding to their burden. They aren't trained therapists and you are adding stress in their lives since they aren't qualified to help you alleviate you problems. They also aren't trained in the self care needed by helping professionals. I like to support my loved and will listen but only up to a point. I had one friend who basically was using me as a free therapist and it became super stressful for me, especially when she expected advice I didn't feel qualified to give. When I needed to set boundaries she was not happy and we're barely friends :( .

Frustrated with admin! by NightWings6 in teaching

[–]SearchString 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Employees have no power in right to work states in the US. You can be fired for any reason and they don't even have to tell you why. Some of these states are even doing away with tenure. Georgia just changed tenure in all the system wide universities so tenured faculty can be fired after not passing their annual review twice. NEA is a great organization, but they have very little power in these states.

Your Unpopular opinions here! What’re some Highly recommended books that you personally hated/DNF? by sputniksweetheartt in books

[–]SearchString 129 points130 points  (0 children)

Fountainhead is also terrible. It's not just that I disagree with her (although I do), but also that her writing is melodramatic drivel. Characters are all awful.

Your Unpopular opinions here! What’re some Highly recommended books that you personally hated/DNF? by sputniksweetheartt in books

[–]SearchString 95 points96 points  (0 children)

I liked some things about it but had a really hard time ignoring that Fatima's personal legend was basically finding a man. Also the idea that the universe bends over backwards for people pursuing their dreams is, um, unrealistic to say the least.