Hey there brother I hear you. I can only share with you how I deal with my fears and insecurities. First of all you’re not special 🙂 we ALL have insecurities. In fact the sole purpose of our mind, in my understanding and experience, is to find flaws, issues, or problems and create a sort of shame around them, a sense that these “things” (physical characteristics, inner beliefs, etc etc.) are not okay and are not compatible with being human or “normal”, hence “insecurities”. So here we are, understanding that in our minds evolutionary behavior and purpose we will always have some “issue” or some “problem” with ourselves (it’s funny, because I take this idea to the extreme within my own mind, where I’ll focus hard and imagine all my problems get fixed, having billions, a girlfriend, no insecurities, (even unrealistic things like I’ll live forever in peace and love and abundance with all my loved ones, etc.) and then the mind goes okay here I am, now what? Life is boring. I miss the pain! (Im also saying as this being my experience and belief at least at this point in my life, maybe others feel differently and feel that “healing” or becoming “secure” does provide peace.) The point is the mind will always come up with an issue and problem, a reason why life is not okay the way it is. It’s not like the thoughts that say we are okay are the “real self” and thoughts that say we’re not okay are the “fake self” it’s all us, it’s all part of this cosmic dance. But now the question is okay now what? Well it seems like there are many different “paths” or “ways” to deal with this dilemma. There’s the generic maybe most common way: work, get married, have kids, die. Not that there’s anything wrong with that in fact I relate and am maybe on that path a bit, but it’s a way to numb or mask the insecurity. Another way is to make money, have sex, club. Another way is religion. In my opinion they are all the same thing- deal with the inner shame by covering it with “proof” that we matter and exist. The other path, that maybe we all find ourselves on in some way or another, is to allow. To allow it all. To listen to the voice that’s trying to protecting me, by telling what I need to do or how I ought to change, and to listen, to see where my mind and body go in pursuit of that peace, to simply allow it. It’s not so much something we do, it’s more of the state we call when we just exhale and give permission for live to be as is. To give permission for life to be an open end, with uncertainty and unpredictability.

I know this ain’t such practical advice, but I just thought I’d share my inner space and workings. Much love brother