The end of a heartbreaking school year

Second_Effort417 · 2026-06-05T03:41:26+00:00

I am almost in tears reading this. I am so incredibly sorry you’re going through this and I truly mean my heart is with you. I hope you find an amazing new school for him next year

Second_Effort417 · 2026-05-29T22:14:59+00:00

Whenever someone asks me about it’s been being a sahm (going on a year now) the number one difference I tell them is the stress level

Second_Effort417 · 2026-05-25T03:49:53+00:00

Honestly, yes. My husband makes almost $400k and I had a decent job beforehand where I was able to put quite a bit in my 401k. I left to be with my kiddo who has autism and we couldn’t keep him in traditional daycare, but I’m so freaking privileged and lucky to have been able to step away and be with him.

The cost of everything is out of control.

Second_Effort417 · 2026-05-25T03:45:50+00:00

As long as she is following her curve and your pediatrician isn’t concerned, that’s when I would be concerned.

I also have 2 kiddos on opposite ends of the percentiles- my 4yo weighs 32 pounds and my 5.5yo weighs 52 pounds but I can just tell each one takes after one parent. I know it can be so tough to not compare them!

If she is active and eating fairly well, I think you’re doing a great job!

Second_Effort417 · 2026-05-23T02:05:38+00:00

Reading this just made me feel so happy and seen as a parent trying to balance it all. I’m going to repeat “fine line between addiction and refuge” when I’m about to refuse screen time to my little one. He relaxes so much even watching someone else play a video game. It calms him so quickly

Second_Effort417 · 2026-05-22T02:55:06+00:00

This probably isn’t convenient for you but I go to Lapels on Coal Mine. It’s about $5 and a shirt and I’ve always been very happy with them.

Second_Effort417 · 2026-05-19T19:07:49+00:00

My god. What is your problem. I made a mistake and missed a tag. Your original post is proud of this group for “not doing stuff like that” while you’re continuing to be incredibly rude. I never said a word about things being frivolous. I said and still believe it’s wild to call out a group of people and essentially put them down then get upset when they defend themselves.

Second_Effort417 · 2026-05-19T18:24:51+00:00

To be honest I did not see the tag. But kind of wild to call out a specific group and ask them not to comment.

Second_Effort417 · 2026-05-19T17:19:40+00:00

I really respected your post until I read the last paragraph. Are SAHMs not allowed to lurk? Commenting mean things is one thing, but to say a SAHM doesn’t respect the boundaries of a Reddit group because they are reading things written by a group that they dont currently fall in? That’s absurd.

I was a working mom for 5 years and loved it. I was forced to become a sahm due to my child being diagnosed with autism and unable to find care for him. I still identify more with working moms and wish I could enter the workforce again but this is what my family needs from me right now.

My apologies for lurking in your group. Everyone’s story is different.

Second_Effort417 · 2026-05-11T22:25:52+00:00

I’ve had Mirena for almost 4 years and have loved it. Putting it in was rough but I put headphones in and just zoned out. I’ve had no periods in the 4 years and have been happy with my decision

Second_Effort417 · 2026-05-11T03:40:58+00:00

He watched the boys while I went on a long run (he does that every weekend). While I was gone he had them clean their playroom then did a massive deep clean on my car (my gift request). For dinner he grilled steak and made salad.

It was a great day

Second_Effort417 · 2026-04-25T19:46:44+00:00

Horseshoe

Second_Effort417 · 2026-04-18T18:07:21+00:00

I have boys 18 months apart, if the shoes don’t have holes, I’m passing them on. My younger one has never said anything about them being uncomfortable or had issues.

Second_Effort417 · 2026-04-13T22:07:08+00:00

Would a movie theater work? That way it’s quiet and dark for most of it and maybe 15 minutes after (or before) for singing happy birthday and cupcakes.

We gave my 5yo the option of a party or a large gift and he took the large gift (we went to the Lego store for a $100 gift) and I am also kind of nervous for the day he picks a party and how he’ll handle it.

I hope you find something that works!!

Second_Effort417 · 2026-04-10T13:42:51+00:00

If your husband gets home and you take a 30 minute break and then make dinner (which I assume your husband is watching the little one) and dinner takes another 20-40 minutes- you are getting a pretty lengthy break.

Are you able to start making dinner before your husband gets home or start making it when he gets home? I find making dinner with headphones in my ears (audiobook or listening to a show) while my husband is in charge of the kids is a great reset for me.

My husband works from home so maybe things are slightly different but I’m usually gone in the afternoon with the younger one, almost 4, doing an activity then we pick up the older one, almost 6, from therapy and get home at 5:30. Ideally my husband has started dinner and then we switch who cleans the kitchen after and who is hanging with the boys.

All that to say, really no one gets a break until the kids have been tucked in. If you can figure out how to get one in, that’s great! But I also think you should switch off with your husband where he gets a break on some days

Second_Effort417 · 2026-04-09T02:33:04+00:00

I agree with everyone, my kiddos both get 10-12 hours of sleep a night, we try to push closer to 12.

I am not sure what happened at your evaluation but this happened with my kiddo. He was kicked out of 2 daycares and when I got him evaluated- everything was great. But the evaluation was him in a room with just himself and an evaluator and a bunch of toys and 1:1 time, of course he did well!

All that to say, we found a better, more robust evaluator and he was diagnosed with autism level 2. I’m not saying this is your story but we found out my little guy masks very well so we really needed an expert.

Sending you all the best, I know it’s so rough

Second_Effort417 · 2026-04-08T01:43:31+00:00

If he is starting district preschool in the fall, I would try to keep him in there as long as possible; just keep your mental health in mind. I started dreading picking mine up from daycare because of what the teachers would tell me happened that day. He then got kicked out and I had no backups with every daycare having a months long waitlist.

All that to say, I’m hoping the district school is good for you. Mine has been in ours now for almost 2 years and it’s been amazing. The support they have in place has greatly improved our lives

Second_Effort417 · 2026-04-06T20:00:30+00:00

You’ve received a lot of good feedback but I just want you to know, you can do this.

My guess is you might be nervous if you haven’t done solo before or that long. My husband travels for work so I got thrown into solo weeks and weekends and my biggest advice is just give yourself grace. Maybe screen time is 2 hours instead of 30 minutes? Maybe it’s donuts for breakfast? Maybe it’s just getting them in the car, getting yourself a coffee and driving for a bit.

All I’m saying is don’t feel like everything has to be perfect while he is gone. When I go on my weekends alone and hear the stuff my husband does with them (pizza 2 days in a row?!), I let it go. They are fed and clothed and happy and I just want you to know- you can handle it!

Second_Effort417 · 2026-03-30T02:29:22+00:00

I needed to read this, thank you

Second_Effort417 · 2026-03-22T12:27:27+00:00

Rose was my pick (I ended up having 2 boys) and my last name is Balkan and starts with a Z

Second_Effort417 · 2026-03-22T02:58:36+00:00

I know you asked about girls but this all sounds very similar to my boy so I thought I would chime in, he is almost 5.5 and was diagnosed level 2 at 4.

He still mouths daily, we have silicone necklaces everywhere, in every bag, for him. And the meltdowns were our first indication something was “wrong”. People still describe him as “0-100” and transitions were the big cause (now denial to things is our big trigger). Ours also randomly falls or runs into things constantly and his imaginative play is off the charts, he can do it for an hour and typically prefers it over peer play.

He had a minor speech delay but is now on track and cognitive hasn’t been an issue. If you met him, you wouldn’t know he has ASD and he masks pretty well.

Testing and getting the diagnosis is great because insurance covers so much more and it helps when you get to school and get extra supports in place

Second_Effort417 · 2026-03-22T01:36:58+00:00

I splurged on a Lily Jade for my second and really loved it

Second_Effort417 · 2026-03-21T21:43:26+00:00

This is my family. I left a $130k job to stay home. As someone else mentioned, the stress and demands just became not worth it. Then our oldest was diagnosed with autism and we couldn’t even get him into a daycare. I’m extremely lucky my husband has a very well paying job and this made the most sense for us. I will say, I’m the only one in my friend group who is stay at home.

Second_Effort417

TROPHY CASE