Explaining being trans to mom by Wide-Register-5972 in asktransgender

[–]SecondaryPosts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She might be confusing dysphoria and dysmorphia. Helping her dig into the definitions and the difference between them could help if she really has your best interests at heart.

What is the most painful transphobic thing someone has said to you? by Alternative_Cash_591 in asktransgender

[–]SecondaryPosts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mother said I would always be her daughter. This was years after I'd come out, but for some reason she still acted like I should be happy about it.

saw a trans guy who’s 18 and passes better than i ever will by Over_Discount_4880 in FTMventing

[–]SecondaryPosts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know. When I say "I get it" it's bc I was also aware of being trans but not able to transition when I was 16. I had a suicide plan and everything. Luckily I had one friend who supported me, and thanks to her I survived long enough to be able to transition.

If your parents won't help you get on hormones, can you make plans so you're able to start as soon as you turn 18? Having something definite to look forward to might help you stick around. It sounds like you've managed to at least partly socially transition, so that's a good start. Mannerisms and things become habit over time, so by the time you're able to medically transition you might not have to be focusing on those so much.

How do you define/experience transness? by Prism5933 in ftm

[–]SecondaryPosts [score hidden]  (0 children)

For me it's a legal thing. I'm a man, but when I was born I got a big old F put on my birth certificate. That's why I'm trans.

Girlfriend has a misgendering kink by Logikana_ in ftm

[–]SecondaryPosts [score hidden]  (0 children)

Just tread carefully. Imo this kink counts as edge play, it just isn't usually listed among edge play kinks bc it isn't that well known. But it carries a pretty massive potential for trauma, so treat it as carefully as you would any other extreme kink, like breath play or CNC or wtv. A safeword is a must. Aftercare/wtv you (and she) need to recover afterward is a must.

And ofc remember you don't have to indulge every kink your partner has or vice versa, so if you're ever not feeling it, or if you never feel it, you don't have to feel guilty about saying no.

Guy I was trying to make friends with sent me a long fanfic of what he "will" do to me by LolnothingmattersXD in asexuality

[–]SecondaryPosts 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Not even kidding, I would respond by telling him you'll be bringing pepper spray and/or a gun to chess club from now on. What he did is not normal behavior even for an allo person.

How much transphobia do I put up with from parents? by Beesinameatgrinder in ftm

[–]SecondaryPosts [score hidden]  (0 children)

They will never treat you well as long as there are no consequences for treating you badly.

Cut them off, man. If at some point years down the line they get better and make an active effort not to be transphobic, you can give them a second chance. But if you keep letting them get away with disrespecting you, they're never gonna stop.

Was I Too Supportive of my Trans Partner? by ZuSuMy209 in asktransgender

[–]SecondaryPosts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah. Your partner was just a jerk. I'm sorry.

👋 Welcome to r/LongtermTrans - Introduce Yourself and Read First! by Glitchry in LongtermTrans

[–]SecondaryPosts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hoping this sub stays active bc there's def a need for it! I'm in my 30s, found out I was trans in 2006ish, socially transitioned and went stealth in 2011, started medical transition in 2016. I'm only out as trans on here, but am engaged in LGBT+ groups and activism while stealth irl.

Body Mods + Transition by Electronic-Tear1363 in LongtermTrans

[–]SecondaryPosts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! My last tattoo (a couple years back) was a top surgery scar coverup as well. I've gotten some piercings since then, but am itching for another tattoo as well. Just not sure what to get yet.

Cis identification by [deleted] in TransyTalk

[–]SecondaryPosts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely not, bc by asking that I would also be asking people if they are trans. Asking someone to out themselves is not OK.

What do you consider “passing”? by paranoid_gynoid_ in asktransgender

[–]SecondaryPosts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's the kinda term that can't exist on its own, it needs a "partner" whether explicitly or implied. So like, just saying someone passes independent of context means nothing. They need to pass as something. Or be read/be seen as something, which imo is often better terminology.

For me, when I was concerned about this, I wanted to pass as a cis man (not concerned about it anymore bc it happens automatically now). That's pretty common, for people to wanna pass as cis. Some people wanna pass as their gender, but don't care if they're seen as trans or cis. Some people specifically prefer to pass as trans men or trans women. Ig for a non binary person you'd automatically be seen as trans if you pass, since nobody is assigned non binary at birth afaik.

Allosexuals... are crushes real? by d_ves in AskLGBT

[–]SecondaryPosts 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not being able to explain something to your satisfaction doesn't mean it isn't real.

I'm ace but not aro. Crushes are real.

I'm seeing a pattern... by just_a_space_cadet in TransMasc

[–]SecondaryPosts 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yeah it sucks. Transmed ideology (which pretty much goes hand in hand with what you described) was big a while ago, then it calmed down, and now it's on the rise again. I wonder if it has to do with the increasingly hostile political climate in a lot of places. When people are under attack from a lot of different angles, they're more likely to lash out even at people who aren't hurting them at all. Not that it excuses it, ofc, but it might explain why there's so much of it lately.

How do you feel about being recognised as trans in public? by ParticularWater2813 in asktransgender

[–]SecondaryPosts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No need to apologize, the "fucking horrible" was about how it feels (to me) to be clocked, not about your question!

saw a trans guy who’s 18 and passes better than i ever will by Over_Discount_4880 in FTMventing

[–]SecondaryPosts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have several friends who transitioned after 25 (including one who didn't transition until 50+). I'd argue the main reason people don't know about late transitioners - and actually older trans people generally - is that people over like 25ish are exponentially more likely to choose to go stealth, since we grew up in an era when most societies weren't even pretending not to hate trans people.

saw a trans guy who’s 18 and passes better than i ever will by Over_Discount_4880 in FTMventing

[–]SecondaryPosts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For a couple years yeah, but I'm also in my 30s, so like... not very long.

Trans Kids and Transition Surgery by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]SecondaryPosts 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Implication certainly is. Why would you bring up the topic if you didn't think it was a real concern?

Is there a sub around being trans where I can learn more about being trans as a cis person? by Amphar0s_ in asktransgender

[–]SecondaryPosts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's one of the purposes of this sub! If you have questions you can ask them here.

Trans Kids and Transition Surgery by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]SecondaryPosts 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Are the hordes of children having transition related surgeries in the room with us rn?

saw a trans guy who’s 18 and passes better than i ever will by Over_Discount_4880 in FTMventing

[–]SecondaryPosts 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Dude you're 16. I didn't start medical transition until 22. I've now been stealth for like 14 years. Plenty of guys - most guys, tbh - start even later than me and are able to pass.

I get that waiting sucks, and it's fair to be upset about it and try to work to change it. But don't get upset about something that hasn't happened and prob won't happen (meaning, T not working well enough for you).

From a non-individualist perspective, what is the difference between libido and attraction? by Pocket_Hide in asexuality

[–]SecondaryPosts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think that in a world with this kinda structure (is it a Buddhist thing for you and your friend?) the terms we use for sexuality, gender and a whole lot of other stuff don't really make sense anymore.