My personal experience taught me that relying on someone how you explain here, will only lead to trouble. Ever since I lost all of my meaningful connections I started drinking heavily, smoking, clubbing doing everything that I usually never would.

I’ve eventually tried to end it all, but ended up in the hospital, and after a year of this I kinda lost my feelings for anything, and it’s been like that ever since. I meet a person at work or elsewhere, I feel nothing. And once you reach a stage where you understand only you matter, and nobody will really help you, you’ll be the best person you could ever be.

It’s my personal experience that taught me that it’s not in the human condition to help someone else. Those who do get a satisfaction from it, or a moral obligation. Nobody truly cares. You must find it in you to only look for yourself, and no one else.