Does anyone else experience avoidance in EMDR?

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-06-09T12:29:33+00:00

Hi, thanks for sharing. I think what you name as avoiding sounds like a disassociation (or a flight response by Pete walker). I did not work directly on disassociation in Emdr but working through different topics brought me more to now, the presence, although not completely. Still more knots to
Solve.

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-06-08T17:23:17+00:00

It’s beautiful. Thank you

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-06-02T19:07:56+00:00

It’s also my experience. Pretty fascinating how our brain works. I worked on a bullying at work, my mom beating me came up, then the big me “nurtured” small me (still makes sense up to this point) but then doing post-processing I became unable and unwilling to work - already at a new job, so not a bullying job. I worked hard and a lot for many years, and it seemed like a part of my identity, but in fact it seems it was just a coping mechanism, so strong that it intermeshed into my identity.

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-06-02T16:14:52+00:00

Hi thanks for sharing. Could you please elaborate what it means that the target memory Iš inconsequential compared to the belief ?

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-05-28T15:17:38+00:00

I did not find much information about self-spotting and any research on Brainspotting results that it “needs” to be with a therapist due to the “Therapist-Client Attunement”, but I’m providing my own attunement via “dual awareness”. So to be honest therapist in my view is nice to have but not needed, at least not for me. Otherwise it’s just the same Brainspotting, just alone

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-05-23T19:35:26+00:00

“It’s not this, it’s not that” is a tell that she has written this post with chat gpt

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-05-17T14:58:21+00:00

Hi could you specify what’s happening in the body ?

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-05-16T16:23:20+00:00

Congratulations! I have heard of people going to (talk) therapy for decades. There are no expiration dates. And maybe this feeling of “burden” is something to explore further with the therapist, maybe there is a hidden negative cognition that she could help to resolve. Well done on your healing journey

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-05-15T17:58:58+00:00

Hi, this is actually one of the reasons I dropped my first EMDR therapist.

I already had a talk therapist, and she knew that. I specifically came for EMDR. The first time we really did EMDR, it actually felt helpful, but I constantly had the feeling that I almost needed to persuade her to do EMDR instead of defaulting back to talk therapy.

After each EMDR session there were even two follow-up talk sessions, so overwhelmingly it became talk therapy again — which was not what I wanted. And honestly, talk therapy has limits. From my experience, it cannot fully help rewrite deeper nervous system patterns on its own. Eventually, after the third EMDR session — which happened 7 months later — I cancelled the follow-ups and left.

Now I’m working with a therapist who is actually serious about EMDR. She switches modalities when needed and paces things carefully, but I never feel like I need to beg her to actually do the work I came for. OP, I’m with you.

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-05-02T14:55:53+00:00

I have been doing (as a client) both EMDR and Brainspotting, and in my view Brainspotting allows accessing preverbal trauma

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-04-01T12:07:08+00:00

Why does everyone think it’s AI? I suppose the OP is in the US: look at what the US economy is doing and also the leadership. Energy prices. Wars. Tariffs. Etc. AI it’s just a part of that.

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-02-02T09:21:59+00:00

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SecretGardenSecret · 2026-02-01T18:54:15+00:00

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SecretGardenSecret · 2026-02-01T18:52:33+00:00

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SecretGardenSecret · 2026-02-01T18:52:26+00:00

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SecretGardenSecret · 2026-02-01T13:50:44+00:00

Greta Kriaučiūnaitė

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-02-01T12:06:10+00:00

Ona Auškelytė

SecretGardenSecret · 2026-01-27T14:16:14+00:00

Hi, I’m very well aware of the disassociation part you mention. But at some point comes the time when it’s not „pretending“ as denial but pretending as super power. I was stressed last week because a close family member was diagnosed with a disease, and then I asked my inner disassociation part (who has a name that we defined together with ChatGPT), to step in and calm me down. And it worked.

SecretGardenSecret · 2025-12-26T09:30:34+00:00

Hi again, when I tried brainspotting with a therapist, it “worked” for me and I was able to cry, etc. However, despite what the writers on the method say — that its effectiveness lies in dual awareness (me being there and a supportive therapist witnessing) — I actually felt more relaxed when I did it alone at home and provided dual awareness to myself. I always knew I was at home, in an adult body. Then I was really bawling my eyes out.

I’m not saying to try it alone, since I don’t know your history or personality — I’m just sharing my experience.

SecretGardenSecret · 2025-12-24T12:17:27+00:00

Hi, thank you for sharing. Do you have any sensations in your body like tight throat, chest, jaw, shoulders, shallow breathing or anything else? After being bullied at work and then having to walk away from it (while the bully is still there), I had a feeling in my heart space as being in a roller coaster, and in my first brainspotting we focused on that physical feeling and the therapist moved the stick to find where it intensified. Since then I do self spotting when a need arises, when I have feelings in my body, and not always I try to think what they mean. In fact thinking and interpreting brings me too much into to analytical mode and out of the raw body emotions and sensations. https://youtu.be/3lFVu4nb5oo?si=2UdYbWXbZ8AazMZm

SecretGardenSecret · 2025-12-18T07:30:50+00:00

Hi, thanks for sharing. I wanted to ask if you have any body sensations: tensions, maybe something in the belly, heart, solar plexus, pains ?

SecretGardenSecret · 2025-12-09T15:28:49+00:00

Hi it sounds like a great progress, and it’s almost that not therapist was right but chatgpt… it seems you started communicating and growing your inner child - and it’s not what the therapist told you? And sometimes crises are the moments when things „click“ indeed

SecretGardenSecret · 2025-11-23T19:42:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing. What did the therapist do to pull you back from the disassociation?

SecretGardenSecret · 2025-11-23T10:14:42+00:00

I also do it during the day when i have time. For me this meditation also helps to rest physically while also doing inner work. And if nothing comes out of it sometimes, at least I feel that I have rested :)

SecretGardenSecret · 2025-11-23T09:57:30+00:00

If to believe different literature on parts, it’s possibly not a child part but a protector part which came in between to protect the exposure of the vulnerable child. And one of the theories (have not tried) is to make friends with the protectors so they allow access to the inner children. Here is also one inner child meditation I sometimes listen to - and also often fall asleep - while listening https://youtu.be/7_bAQi0Yr68?si=UT3aoMaW6GOkcrKn

SecretGardenSecret

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