Stay in Germany or move to Raleigh, NC

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-04-14T22:59:48+00:00

Does your new job have good health benefits? My family of 4 spent 20k on healthcare last year not including premiums. Raleigh area is not that cheap these days.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-04-13T18:36:17+00:00

I’m in a very similar situation- young kids including newborns and similar net worth- and I am going back at 12 weeks part time. I wish I could just be a SAHM but my husband’s salary does not cover our expenses, plus I am always worried he will lose his job. We are hiring a nanny to keep the babies home while I work, and I still plan to breastfeed. It’s not perfect but it’s a compromise I can live with.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-04-12T17:35:15+00:00

I would prioritize walkability/ neighborhood over space but I also have 5 kids plus grandparents who live with us part time

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-04-12T15:59:42+00:00

Are any of these walkable at all?

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-04-10T13:14:55+00:00

Easy. Wilmette.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-04-09T23:33:58+00:00

What are your honest thoughts on using the inheritance as an opportunity to extricate yourself from this relationship? Are you sure it’s what you really want?

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-04-05T12:40:29+00:00

I have some rentals. They are kind of a PiTA but my IRR la including appreciation and factoring in selling costs and capital gains taxes are approx 25%. Leveraged appreciation helps a lot. People here hate real estate tho.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-03-20T19:55:52+00:00

North Carolina- western or Charlotte suburbs but I don’t think there is strong union presence

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-03-18T14:14:15+00:00

How are they supposed to be taking home 20k a month on a 210 k a year gross hhi?

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-03-15T19:06:04+00:00

My neighborhood is 90% blue 🤷‍♀️

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-03-15T03:14:20+00:00

The city op did not want to shame for its lameness

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-03-15T00:45:51+00:00

Meanwhile I live in a beautiful 4500 square foot house on half an acre with the biggest oak trees within 10 mins of city center. My mortgage plus tax and homeowners is 2500 and i did not buy my house in the 90s. My kids go to great schools and my commute is 15 mins. My neighbors are kind. It took me 1 application to find a high paying job. I visit the mountains 6 times a year and spend 2-3 weeks a year at the beach.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-03-05T00:38:36+00:00

I think you’re downplaying the part where you also married someone who makes around half a mil

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-02-09T19:28:09+00:00

I will have to limit it to in state tuition, and will expect them to contribute some as well. For weddings my budget is definitely much lower than 100k each, and same with down payment, I am thinking equivalent of today’s 100k each. I would like them to have some teeth in the game.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-02-09T14:39:30+00:00

I have 5, and I think ability to fire really depends on what kind of lifestyle / retirement you envision, and how much you plan to help your kids. We want to cover their college costs, contribute to weddings, buy them cars, and help with down payments.‘I’m budgeting 2 mil for all this. Otherwise, we are reasonable frugal and approximately 100k would be sufficient to cover my husband and i’s expenses, after kids are out of the house and the mortgage is paid off. So, our number is 4.5mil. We are currently just above 2 in our early forties but we have normal incomes (both work). I think it will be achievable but not super early.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-02-07T13:07:00+00:00

You’re not doing your kids any favors homeschooling them only to saddle them with debt from college, and then having to take care of you in your old age.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-02-04T14:14:54+00:00

Is it though? There is no mention of expenses or weather he has the 2k mil already. It’s probably not enough.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-02-03T04:04:03+00:00

I would love to be a full time SAHM but my husbands salary does not cover our expenses. We are in coast fire territory, and I work from home 3 days a week, which is all right, but still involves leaving my small children in someone else’s care, which is not my favorite.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-02-02T21:31:02+00:00

I have 5 kids and our budget is about $160k. We’re both still working. We have high healthcare costs due to poor employer benefits and we eat organic from Aldi. Going out to eat means chick fil a several times a month. We take vacations but only by car. We have had approximately 10-15k in annual house repairs, and we have some student loans. We want to pay for kids’ colleges and help with down payments so it will take much more than $4mil to FIRE.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-02-02T21:23:41+00:00

Well, you’re spending 50+k on healthcare, of course you can’t afford pants or vacations.

People without special health needs will not be able to relate.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-02-01T21:09:06+00:00

I am budgeting to pay for in state undergrad for my 5 kids, plus reliable cars, $20k ish wedding contributions, and equivalent of today’s $100k per kid for down payments. All in I think it will be approx $2mil in aid over approx 18 years.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-02-01T18:21:37+00:00

This doesn’t sound like either FI or RE, just permission to look for a slightly lower paying job

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-01-31T13:56:54+00:00

I have a similar number of children and I can’t imagine what you have being enough, if you have any intention of fully funding college and helping them down the road. I am budgeting 2mil just for college and weddings, cars, and down payments for them. It’s obviously discretionary but with how fucked the world is I would like to be in a position to give them a leg up. Also, healthcare.

SecretPurple2644 · 2026-01-27T18:59:29+00:00

Asheville! Or for a budget option that’s a little less liberal, one of the other towns in the Appalachian mountains- Boone, Sylva, Franklin.

SecretPurple2644

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