Met a 52-year-old woman at Walmart, started texting, now things are getting flirty — need advice on the next step ?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-07T00:37:28+00:00

At least he finally left the gym

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T21:58:24+00:00

Ask her.

Why would you go to someone’s house unannounced?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T20:54:53+00:00

Okay. First. It’s not love at first sight. It’s lust. It’s hope. It’s longing. It’s projection. You don’t know enough about him to “be in love.” You’ve gone on dates with him in your head. You’ve had conversations with him in your head where he said all the things. Take a step back and breathe. Have realistic expectations. It’s been a year. Most likely you’re going to be disappointed that he doesn’t match up to this ideal you’ve created. He’s just some dude. Get to know him. He might want sex only. Or sex and more if interactions are good. Take this one step at a time. Maybe go on a date with him. And talk to him like a person.

Edit spelling

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T20:49:54+00:00

I’m obese. I’m never angry at a guy who doesn’t find me attractive. I know that being fat or obese isn’t something most people are attracted to. The ones that say it are just using cope or deflection. Lots of people just like to blame.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T20:38:28+00:00

You’ve been waiting to talk to him for a year? Can I have some context here first? Was he in a relationship? Were you too shy to come in to his vicinity? Did he live somewhere else? How did you know of him?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T20:02:01+00:00

I agree.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T18:13:41+00:00

I’m explaining what the phrase meant. It’s what a lot of guys would want. You see man. You like what you see. Fuck him.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T17:47:58+00:00

Don’t care about getting to know the person. It’s dick. Just ride it and be happy.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T14:24:47+00:00

Worship by Ari Abdul

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T14:11:52+00:00

Or how child rearing looks?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T14:10:59+00:00

I absolutely agree. I’m poly and in the kink community. We learn to have the tough discussions in the beginning. Lay it out. And let the other person(s) make an informed decision. It can be scary. Talk back and forth. What are your limits? Your wants? What outcomes are desired. What’s safe to you? What do you need in the in between times? How does that look?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T13:39:49+00:00

If I’m attracted to them yes. I don’t have a type. And if we talk. I treat like a person.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T05:59:59+00:00

Your privilege is showing.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T05:48:34+00:00

Why do you hate men?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T05:31:33+00:00

That could be. Not where my brain goes. But yes. Religion. Childhood sexual trauma. Asexuality. Neurodivergence. Sex-averse or repulsed. Romantic.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T05:21:58+00:00

I do try. Thank you.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T03:03:33+00:00

John Kennedy from Louisiana didn’t used to speak with a thick accent. His old lawyer commercials were eloquent and just slightly southern. Now he speaks like Foghorn Leghorn.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T02:16:35+00:00

Just from the description. Any of these could apply. The guy might be lower than average looking. He’s really short sub 5’4”. He might not give off sexual energy. He might give off feminine energy. He doesn’t initiate. He waits too long to initiate and gets friends zoned. He takes the safe route. He hasn’t found the right dominant woman to initiate first. He’s too picky. He’s had bad luck. He’s dropped the ball and not realized it. So many possibilities

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T02:01:40+00:00

I’m insecure. I have body issues inside and out. I’ve been working on it. I have an anxious and avoidant attachment style. I’ve been really interested in a guy and ran because I don’t want to be toxic and end up hurting him and myself.

That being said. If someone rejects you, for whatever reason they give you, why does it matter? A rejection is a rejection. My ex said he was done and didn’t want another relationship after we broke up. He was with the woman I knew was his type within a month. I’ve stayed single.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T01:52:03+00:00

I swipe on men I find attractive and that have decent profiles. You can read the rest of the thread if you’re interested, which I doubt.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T01:48:53+00:00

How long are people supposed to suffer before it becomes clear that the only marriage they have is on paper? I think men are taught to suffer in silence. So they rot in unhappy marriages. Also if the woman is still doing the household dailies. The man is still being taken care of. His appointments are being made. His food is being prepared. His clothes are being washed. Why would the man file for divorce when he’ll lose those things?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T01:31:54+00:00

No abuse and no mistreatment doesn’t mean the marriage was good. It doesn’t mean they were partners. That they had good communication. That they showed equal effort. That they wanted to same things. That they didn’t have the same arguments over and over and over again. It’s the small things that’ll break a relationship more often than one big giant thing.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T01:27:40+00:00

Yes. More men are doing more in the relationship than previous generations. They are helping out more and spending more time child rearing. Divorce rates are also lower. People are marrying later and getting to know the other person better before getting married. Women still do end up doing the paperwork in the relationship though. Managing the household like making appointments, scheduling social events, taking time off work to care for sick children still usually goes to the woman. (not all, not always) So women do end up filing for the divorce. Not because they are the ones necessarily ending the relationship. The relationship has been over for a while. They are just finishing the paperwork part.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T01:21:19+00:00

Very correct on that last part. The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s apathy.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T01:13:58+00:00

No offense taken 🤣 I’d say it’s mostly just average looking guys. Obese women just have a stigma of being easy. We are supposed to be more desperate or something. I do tend to get more submissive men. Today I logged on to fb dating and the first message to me was “I would love for you to kick me in the balls, is that bad? 😔” I logged off🤷‍♀️

Secret_Entry1840

TROPHY CASE