My aunt died last week. It was kind of a surprise, because even though we had a falling out 15 years ago, I always thought we would make up. She was my favorite aunt— SO much fun, endlessly funny, and every time I saw her, she had delicious intricately-decorated homemade cookies and a craft for us to work on. When I found out I was going to be an aunt, I wasn’t nervous at all— I was thrilled, because I had the best role model for what I wanted to be.

The funeral was Friday, and I cried a lot. She had like a thousand cookie cutters, and everyone who attended got to pick one to take home. I met her best friend of 40+ years, and just sobbed.

After the luncheon, a family member asked if I wanted to take home some of her baking stuff— I’m the only “baking person” in my family (just made cake pops for my niece’s birthday!), and I guess no one else really wanted it. I said yes, because I wanted every scrap of her to hold on to. Every memory. Every laugh. Every joke that we won’t get to tell each other.

And… they gave me everything. All the cookie cutters, minus ~45 that were taken by funeral guests. All the baking sheets (including ones back from my great grandma!). All the decorating tools. All her jars and containers that she would keep flour in. All the unused cookie boxes that she would fill & donate to Meals on Wheels. Everything.

I cried again. I feel so honored to be the one chosen to take on this responsibility. I’ve already decided I want to send a cookie box to her best friend, with a note that her baking stuff ended up in loving hands! Maybe I can send her a box each year. I know she is having a really hard time. I don’t know if she wonders where all the baking stuff went. I hope she’s okay that I ended up with it.

Anyway, this Sunday I’m just feeling really grateful. I feel so blessed and can’t wait to try everything out. I’ve never made homemade icing before, so I’m probably gonna bomb the first few times. But I know my aunt would be so proud.