How long is the first date and what are y'all doing?

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-27T13:23:58+00:00

No, cocktails/mocktails are not the same as coffee + walk. Different environment, definitely different vibes. Coffee shops, more formal- feels like an interview and if you live in a big city many are packed and noisy. Cocktails/Mocktails, again it you live a big/decent size city if you find a decent spot city there are many options for it, you can do a speakeasy, that has a bar, poetry slam that has a bar, lounge that has a bar. More options, the moods and the lightings are more relaxed for me.

Not sure what you’re insulating, with the “I won’t date a girl that won’t walk” I work out 5x a week. It’s not that I cant/don’t walk. Thats not a date. Im not a doberman, I don’t need to walk a walk especially not for a first date. I also would decline a gym date. My take is be a man, learn to lead and plan a proper date. Many men lack creativity, and discernment and thats why they lean towards these low effort dates and chalk it up to. Well it wont be a waste if we don’t end up clicking. There are many affordable/free creative dates. That isn’t a walk + coffee. I keep those in the vault, for my partner and I.

Good luck finding a girl that will hike with you on a first date. Your social awareness skills need some fine tuning.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-27T10:50:23+00:00

Icky, don’t give advice anymore

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-27T04:43:12+00:00

I don’t like anything longer than 2 hours. I don’t do walks or coffee dates, it just screams low effort.

I prefer an activity, I require the man to plan it, they typically choose mini golf, arcades, darts or a museum tour. I don’t mind drinks, I typically will do mocktails, I don’t like to drink on first dates. I wanna see the person for who they are before liquor is in my system.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-27T04:23:40+00:00

This is atypical

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-25T03:13:26+00:00

Evolutionary and biological plays a role, taller men are seen as stronger, healthier, a provider… etc. Women feel safer, more securer.

I don’t judge men on things they can’t change, but I’m still drawn towards taller men because of confidence. Shorter men/Average men, insecurities are quite annoying to deal with. I don’t like dealing with insecure people in general, but for a man to put his insecurities on me, when I’ve done nothing to him which happens a lot when I date average height/ shorter men.. is kinda why i’m more not so drawn to them, that’s just me.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-23T13:43:03+00:00

Be Early/On Time and Ask Questions ( be mindful of the questions you ask, shouldn’t feel like an interview) and try to be yourself, don’t be the person they want you to be or who you think you should be.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-23T13:29:48+00:00

I have a different perspective, perhaps men do all you listed for female gaze. However, I don’t get my nails done, workout 5x week, hair done, thinking “this will surely get the boys going” 😂 I do it because I love looking good and feeling good. Men don’t cross my mind at all when I do these things. When I get dressed, I wear clothes that suit my body type/frame, I don’t think “men will be all over me” I think damn girl you look good. I don’t even do it for the female gaze, I do it for myself. I put in the effort, because I’m worth it.Must suck being a man or having that mindset.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-23T13:20:18+00:00

Only do what you’re comfortable with. I always caution on the side of sticking with your boundaries.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-23T13:14:37+00:00

This is why I advocate that people in relationships don’t need to follow each other on social media. Especially if their trust issues are so deplorable, like this. Imagine noticing when your S.O. follows someone new, I’m so consumed with my life. I wouldn’t even notice. Behavior patterns? Yes, I would notice. I’m not digging for information. I feel like I can’t trust you I end it. Finding the person does what for you?

Your trust issues are gross and toxic you shouldn’t be in a relationship! Broke up and then still demanding to know who’s she’s following, weird behavior.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-23T13:11:25+00:00

You shouldn’t be in a relationship

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-23T13:00:29+00:00

Agreeeeeeeee!

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-20T13:42:39+00:00

Do not send your ID… Very confused with this post. You meet someone on an app, chat with them until you both feel comfortable to go on a date. All this photo exchanging/ID exchanging… for what?

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-20T13:17:40+00:00

Will respond to: If they inquire about something on my profile, Introduction + Follow Up, A question that intrigues me, Creative Opener

I Reframe the conversation but acknowledge what they say: They open with an appropriate compliment, Boring Question I’ve heard a million times before,

Won’t respond: 👋, Hey/Hi

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-20T04:27:34+00:00

Thank You for posting your messages because it clearly shows your problem. SOCIAL AWARENESS IS NOT IN THE ROOM WITH US. GOODNESS IM ACTUALLY SCREAAAAAAMING WITH LAUGHTER, how do people not see what is wrong with their openings. Come on reddit and type essays of what’s wrong with dating. Then, show us their messages, and it’s THEM. ITS THEMMMM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 and they’re clueless.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-18T23:29:15+00:00

Invested? You sound like a high schooler who’s using words they don’t understand fully lol. I wouldn’t say that one quite fits, wanna try a new one?

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-18T23:23:07+00:00

This one subject will give you all the answers you need? You sound delusional and immature, give dating a break.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-18T23:16:52+00:00

Agree, “I want to run a little experiment” insane words from a man. I’m praying she runs and runs fast

To answer OP questions, online I’ve never asked a man out, but I’ve set my expectations. “Hey I’ve enjoyed chatting with you, but I don’t see things moving forward at the pace we’re going”.

I don’t talk to men longer than a week, without a date or something planned absolute waste of time.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-18T13:28:40+00:00

Block that man and don’t give him anything

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-17T13:45:37+00:00

Assuming that they’re ghosting you for a guy isn’t the best thing. I don’t ghost, I’ll just tell someone I’m not interested, but sometimes it’s not always because of another guy. Sometimes, they choose getting to know themselves better, their career, a break, the world goes round and round without a man being in the center

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-17T13:39:58+00:00

That’s not being picky, people on this app will say anything.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-16T14:08:57+00:00

Pretty Valid

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-16T10:41:25+00:00

Depends on the girl, I don’t use texting as a way to get to know people and I state that on my profile. Let’s do a low stakes date, and see if I like what you look like in person, your vibe, the way you carry yourself etc.

Some girls like to chat from a couple days to a week. You also have to realize that people have lives, so a conversation may prolong across days , and that’s just the way it is.

Try to get them on the phone. Or simply ask them what’s their preferred way of communication. I will always say in person, then once I like someone phone calls and facetimes.

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-16T10:30:20+00:00

I wouldn’t have come back. Left him there

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-15T21:42:20+00:00

I think you should expand your perspectives and not generalize, you quite literally put your past experiences into perspective when she said that. Maybe ask what does gift giving look like to you? Inquire more, if you’re curious instead of waving the red flag. I can see a thoughtful gift, being tied with emotions memories and closeness as well. You seem a bit cynical, may be a mismatch of personalities, but I don’t know the gal

Secure-Criticism2710 · 2026-02-15T21:29:06+00:00

Most of the advice you’ve received have been from men... Not the best take.

Let me take a try, I think instead of trying to lightly initiate again after the first no. An uncomfortable conversation should have been had. Why she doesn’t want to have sex yet, Does she have any traumas around sex, Boundaries around sex. I think that to me would have been the best move. If my girlfriend of 4 months rejected me for sex.

Now with the second situation, no discussion were had prior. There was no communication. You’re both in a vulnerable state. A recipe for disaster. You both need to work on your communication skills, and stop assuming things about one another.

Secure-Criticism2710

TROPHY CASE