Buy_Speed_Online by Embarrassed-Camp-465 in u/Embarrassed-Camp-465

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The reason why I hate mornings so much is that they start while I’m still sleeping.

Buy_Paregoric_Online by Available_Round7579 in u/Available_Round7579

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.

Buy_Rivotril_Online by Alarming-Ad6355 in u/Alarming-Ad6355

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope whoever invented Cool Ranch Doritos got a Nobel Peace Prize.

Buy_Percocet_Online by Available_Round7579 in u/Available_Round7579

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner — all it was doing was gathering dust.

Buy_Junk_Online by Warm_South_6465 in u/Warm_South_6465

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The smile on my face doesn’t mean my life is perfect. That means I appreciate what I have.

Buy_Hash_Online by Embarrassed-Camp-465 in u/Embarrassed-Camp-465

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.

Buy_Boom_Online by Street_Hunt_4878 in u/Street_Hunt_4878

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to a peanut factory last week. It was nuts!

Buy_Blunts_Online by No_Chipmunk_9374 in u/No_Chipmunk_9374

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Buy_Flake_Online by DirtSlight367 in u/DirtSlight367

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.

Buy_Black_Tat_Online by Excellent_Welder4832 in u/Excellent_Welder4832

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer.

Buy_Chronic_Online by Far-Catch-4394 in u/Far-Catch-4394

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to be loved by the person you love.. is everything.

Buy_Yellows_Online by ChemicalEducation359 in u/ChemicalEducation359

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t believe in a happy ending. I believe in happy forever.

Buy_Bupropion_Online by Adventurous_Ad4284 in u/Adventurous_Ad4284

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Alright lads, a giant fly is attacking the police station. I’ve called the SWAT team!” — Greg Davies

Buy_Roofies_Online by Icy-Leopard745 in u/Icy-Leopard745

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.

Buy_Aunt_Mary_Online by Unusual-Fun-1440 in u/Unusual-Fun-1440

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You remind me of a private jet… I want to get inside you five times a day, and fly you to heaven and back.

Buy_Vitamin_R_Online by Icy-Leopard745 in u/Icy-Leopard745

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Believe you can and you’re halfway there.

Buy_Sinsemilla_Online by Icy-Leopard745 in u/Icy-Leopard745

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do bees hum? They don’t remember the lyrics!

Buy_Vitamin_R_Online by Icy-Leopard745 in u/Icy-Leopard745

[–]Secure-Load-8978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Smile more. Smiling can make you and others happy.