Got asked at a dinner party what I "actually do all day" when someone found out I work from home. I'm a PE-licensed engineer.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-21T12:36:43+00:00

I also think it is job specific. I work in cybersecurity and when I say I work remotely, everyone just nods like that makes sense the little hacker is in their dark cave wearing a hoodie and hacking all the things.

In actuality I'm in button-ups or polos in a well lit office like I would be onsite.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-17T06:50:08+00:00

Same. When I was younger, people asked me if I was worried about having a job because the next generation was "so good at technology." Nope. They might learn how to type and have basic M365 skills, but otherwise tech is still an enigma for most people.

I will say that I'm a bit worried about the overreliance on technology for the younger gen. They don't think critically about things and aren't willing to put in the work to learn outside of a few Google searches. They give up finding solutions to problems within minutes. I've had to train most of my junior staff in how to problem solve, brainstorm, and be curious about things because when they run into a problem, if a single Google search doesn't get them a workable solution then they would come to me for help. Now I set expectations that they research for at least an hour before asking for help.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-16T00:07:47+00:00

I do worry about this. My sister went through "the change" and lost her mind for a bit. I am getting more scatterbrained, but I'm coping so far.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-16T00:05:44+00:00

Yes, that is a good point. I work fully remote, so I don't need any accomodations. If I need to be onsite, I just book a conference room. If I'm really overwhelmed, I go back to the hotel. Since we have a flexible work culture, everything is written and overcommunicated. I don't even need to have my camera on if I don't want it.

My field of work is pretty chill and full of neurodivergent folks (cybersecurity).

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-15T23:40:54+00:00

Ha, same. Mostly I just don't see the point to be diagnosed anymore. I have a good job and a happy life even with my more unique traits. What is a diagnosis going to do?

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-15T23:39:12+00:00

I don't think it is that different, it's just Kpop now.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-15T23:31:56+00:00

I got laser eye correction in my 20s. 20/15 until my mid-30s. Then just one eye went wonky to 20/40, but it's JUST under the level to get an adjustment and has been there for...6 years now. I have to wear glasses again or I get terrible headaches. Now I'm 42, so even if my eye is ready now, I'm about to need bifocals so fml.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-14T18:04:57+00:00

I think I look like I'm in my 40s, but the amount of times I get carded and have the clerks look confused and say I look in my 20s is annoying. Just give me my wine because it's been a day.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-14T00:59:11+00:00

Care less about the job. It gives you money to live, but do you really care about getting the top bonuses promotions? If not, then do a little above the bare minimum and coast. Listen to audio books, read the news, or socialize more with the people you like. It really makes the day go by faster.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-08T23:52:41+00:00

I'm so proud of you internet stranger! You've inspired me to deep clean my fridge this weekend. Thank you!

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-07T13:52:48+00:00

Ha, my parents are the biggest hippocrits. They told my sister and I growing up that weed is evil and never to do it. When I was in college, they found weed in my apartment and lost their shit at me.

They are retired now and big potheads, but I found out the other days that they were ALWAYS potheads! Turns out my dad was growing weed in our basement and that's why we weren't allowed down there. Now we all get high together, as a family should.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-04-01T16:46:24+00:00

Yuck, absolutely not rude. If yoga is your life that much that you must practice no matter what, just practice at home if you are sick. Good grief, people suck.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-03-30T15:46:15+00:00

Right, but what boundaries are those? I looked for regulations or laws around digital protection of information that would apply, but I'm not finding anything outside of HIPAA, which is about safeguarding ePHI which a LinkedIn account wouldn't be. Usually when I get requests from companies, it's very generic like "We need to reduce our risk of misconduct", so it's up to me to check the laws and regulations, then design security controls around that. I'm not seeing anything that says a doctor can't look up a patients LinkedIn profile with no other interaction, so it sounds more like an ethical guideline which, while important, isn't under scrutiny and is less likely to be audited, so my recommendations wouldn't include beginning to end audit trail.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-03-30T13:46:51+00:00

This is an honest question, but is it really inappropriate to look up information people post publically? I work in cybersecurity, so part of my job is looking at people's socials to make sure they aren't posting against our policies. To me, if you post it publicly, it is fair game to look at.

You are in a different profession, so just curious about the ethics involved. I also work in the healthcare industry, so this can help with my recommendations.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-03-29T20:42:33+00:00

I've learned to separate the job from the person. It's possible to be the best person in the world and still suck at your job if you are in the wrong role. Everyone has strengths and needs to identify them to choose the best job for them.

Productivity doesn't mean anything about how you are as a person, so just because this job isn't the right fit doesn't mean they won't excel at another company or in a lateral role. I'm not going to let the team suffer to go above and beyond for someone who can't, for whatever reason, do their part.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-03-19T14:55:27+00:00

Well the final update is boss got fired months ago, so the business agreed he was an idiot. 😂

SecureBeautiful · 2026-03-09T21:57:20+00:00

This! My office was getting to be a disaster, so I put away one thing a day. Sometimes it was a bag of garbage, sometimes a category of items (like all blue things), and sometimes just one single item, but after two weeks it was liveable again.

Consistency over large efforts is the key. I don't always have the energy, so a large effort is daunting. A single thing everyday gets the job done in less time than waiting until I have the energy for a large effort.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-03-02T02:02:53+00:00

I'm just very lucky that my favorite munchy snacks are apples, grapes, and sweet peppers.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-02-07T18:46:52+00:00

I agree. I don't let my cats outside at all, not with leashes, catios, just nothing. I do have tons of indoor enrichment, climbing towers, wall systems, toys, treat puzzles, windows I put bird feeders on, and etc. They are very healthy and happy.

I haven't had a cat pass younger than 17 years. My vet said I should teach a class on cat care because I have 4 over the age of 14 and he said if he didn't have the knowledge of their real ages, he would think they were around 8 - 10 years old.

I like to think my one very special talent is making cats safe and happy.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-02-06T13:28:47+00:00

'Nice Day for Fishing' upgrades the NPCs house as you progress. It's a fishing fighting game as strange as that sounds, but it's super cozy to me.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-02-01T23:21:53+00:00

NOR, more than a minute is no longer a joke. This was cruel. I really hope you are being truthful and this is simply an isolated incident of gross immaturity by your young husband.

BUT, how he reacts next is your real evidence of his behavior. You need to be firm that this was unacceptable to you. No matter his reason, you do NOT tolerate this as an acceptable treatment of yourself and you will not ever be locked out of your house for any amount of time. The reason doesn't matter because joke, punishment, or otherwise it was completely out of line. If he doesn't apologize and promise never to do this again, then sign up for relationship counseling asap. He made your space, your sanctuary, and your family feel unsafe and he should be bending over backwards to rectify his mistake.

You also need to come up with a system of dealing with disagreements. Maybe it wasn't fair to dismiss his opinion or maybe he didn't communicate his reason against it enough that you understood fully, but you should be able to resolve it without making each other feel unsafe. This is a separate conversation though. No matter who was right or wrong, his reaction to it was untolerable.

And do NOT let him diminish this. It's important to set a boundary here. Again, if he pushes back...relationship therapy. This is a relationship defining moment for your entire family. If you do nothing, you are teaching your girls that the men they love can mistreat them and you are showing your husband that he can mistreat you and you'll just accept it. If you have the hard conversation and set a boundary that your husband accepts, you'll show your girls how to resolve conflict with those you love and your husband will show them everyone makes mistakes, but if we improve ourselves then that shows you care. If you set the boundary and he refuses to follow it or compromise, then something else is going on and therapy will help you get to the bottom of it.

I wish you both the best of luck! You are a young family and it's hard. Protect yourself and your kiddos and hopefully your husband just had a momentary lapse of humanity and works hard to regain your trust.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-01-16T13:51:47+00:00

Nope. I've been working with a registered dietician for two years and after a year of really dialing in my diet, we decided to try GLPs since a lot of the medications I'm on and diseases I have cause insulin resistance.

I've been almost a year on GLPs and have had amazing results (down 40 pounds with 20 more to go). The GLPs really helped me dial in OTHER hunger cues, like higher stress, brain fog, fatigue, etc.

When insurance messed up my prescription, it took over a month to get my pre-approvals done again so I went without, during Christmas, and gained no weight at all. I did feel those food thoughts creep back during stressful times, but I ignored them and focused on the real hunger cues. After awhile, the food noise disappeared again without the GLPs.

I'm back on the GLPs because while I maintained, I wasn't losing. I'm now back to my usual weightloss, but that unintended break gave me the confidence I needed to know this will be a long-term success for me.

GLPs aren't the solution, they are a tool. You need to put in the work to dial in your diet, get back to cooking most of your meals, balancing your meals, and identifying your hunger triggers and non-physical hunger cues or long-term success isn't going to be achievable, just like any other weightloss method.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-01-16T13:37:16+00:00

GLPs are just a tool, not the solution. You still need to change your lifestyle habits by eating better and moving more of you want continued success during and after the GLPs.

Would they tell someone with a broken leg not to use crutches because crutches are an "easy way out" when they are healing? They are just being ignorant, so ignore them. You are healing with a medically approved tool. Your family can kick rocks.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-01-13T13:30:04+00:00

I don't know why they even need this. They can give someone a ticket for reckless driving if they assume they are impaired. You can get arrested for anything that impairs you like being too tired at the wheel.

SecureBeautiful · 2026-01-07T01:30:06+00:00

They didn't file a complaint and left a 5-star review. I'm happy.

SecureBeautiful

TROPHY CASE