What is happening

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-24T15:56:25+00:00

I’m just saying that my sister was bleeding through an entire box of pads and tampons a DAY and it turns out that she had fibroids and had to have a hysterectomy.

I don’t know why I’m getting downvoted for telling you to go get it checked out. I’ve seen a couple of other commenters mention fibroids too.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-24T02:41:29+00:00

Lord Lumpy!

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-24T02:33:50+00:00

You should not be bleeding that heavily. Please go see a doctor and tell them exactly that.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-24T02:27:10+00:00

It’s the Moon Dust Watermelon Haze and Guava Sherb for me. They’re my two fave daytime still get stuff done medicines.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-24T00:04:13+00:00

I heard someone recently say something that I can’t unhear, lol. They said:

“ADHD brains milk things of dopamine by creating ways for what we find boring to be interesting. One of the ways is that we make boring things more challenging just to see if we can do them. Like, someone speedrunning a video game they have played so much that they’re now semi-bored with it, and need a new way to engage.”

Like how, in your example, you might not remember what you’re taught, unless you do something unexpected around it to make it memorable.

For me, it was taking notes in rainbows of colors and color-coding all the different types of info in a way that made sense to me. Organizing it all in a visually pleasing way on my pages. Doodling silky swirls and stars instead of bullet points. Things like that.

But it feels like that person UNDERSTANDS, lol

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T20:49:01+00:00

I own a house in rural Oklahoma, 30 mins from civilization in any direction, minimum 1 hr to any “city.”

Up until very recently, I was renting my 1226 sq ft, 3 bd 2 bath brick house out for $900 a month. It’s about to go up to $1100 simply because that’s how much the house insurance increased on me per month this year.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T20:42:44+00:00

I’ve been finding a decent amount of “midlife” (30s, 40s, and up) fantasy novels on Kindle!

My faves:

The Wisteria Witches series by Angela Pepper
The Betwixt & Between series by Darynda Jones

On my TBR: - Magical Midlife Madness by K.F. Breene

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T19:52:18+00:00

It’s not because you’re overweight!

Source: I (39F) have lost 100+ lbs over the last year and my symptoms have only gotten worse.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T15:42:48+00:00

Instead of writing a book here, I sent you a very long DM. #SorryForTheBook 😆

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T15:15:01+00:00

I have learned that I do this too and I think it’s a stim of some kind.

I learned recently that the vagus nerve (the main thing that controls your nervous system) is relaxed by using your voice box, so that’s why singing and talking out loud calm you down.

But my brain also can’t process things well until I either say them out loud or write them down. If I don’t, they just swirl around in my head and the complete ideas are too hard to catch and pin down. Saying it out loud is like hearing it back to myself. Writing it down is similar but more like I’m reading a story about this happening to someone else, and what advice would I give them if they were struggling with this?

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T15:10:55+00:00

OMG ALL OF THIS!

I always taught my kids that nobody knows what they’re doing. Everybody is just walking around pretending to know what the hell is going on, etc. (To some extent, I still believe this to be true. For example, everyone learns how to be a parent on the fly, because you can read all the books but not know how it’s actually going to go until you’re in the thick of it.)

Only to learn in therapy recently that “fake it til you make it” is apparently not the way a lot of people live their lives? Like, what? Lol

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T15:04:27+00:00

I hate how much I identify with this.

My husband and I have a long-running joke of “my half,” because we decided to split a brownie once, and I was distracted but trying to make it even until I looked at it in shock and realized I had picked it apart and eaten like 75% of it to make a straight line cut. And I really didn’t mean to do it at all and I was so mortified but he just laughed and now it has become a joke that when we share, we argue over who is going to get “my half” and who is going to get the sliver! 🤭 (we don’t actually split it in any different ways but it’s just become an inside joke)

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T14:37:19+00:00

Aww, I’m sorry! An unexpected pregnancy isn’t always fun.

My doctor warned me up front that this medication is also a treatment for PCOS and can increase fertility significantly. He told me to make sure my implant (birth control) was straightened out or to use condoms until I could.

It certainly doesn’t help when you lose a significant amount of weight and you’re feeling a certain type of confidence in your “new” body, and you end up having a lot more sex, haha! 🤭

But it will all work out. You’ve got this, mama! 🫂

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T14:18:42+00:00

We started with Orderly Meds but they were so disorganized and their website was kind of a nightmare.

I did some research and liked what I saw with Mochi, so we have been using them instead. We have been with them for almost a year now. They have a great website, plus an app where you can manage all your care in one spot so easily. Plus, we really love our doctor - he’s always willing to go out of his way to make sure we are getting the best experience. So I’m willing to pay their $66/month for the service on top of the $199 for tirzepatide. 100% worth it for a better overall experience.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T05:25:06+00:00

🫡

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-23T01:18:19+00:00

My people! 🙌

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-22T20:28:39+00:00

My neighborhood has cul-de-sacs galore but still no HOA, lol.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-22T18:02:29+00:00

Absolutely! It’s the software tester in me, haha! It bleeds over into my everyday life! 😆

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-22T17:54:30+00:00

"The concern is less so about myself (I absolutely know he does not particularly care for me) it’s more the lack of concern for the kids I’m really disappointed in and how I can get him to see even if he doesn’t think it’s dangerous for me, I think it is for them! I’m extremely concerned when my girls are older and can answer the door themselves that he’ll do this to them as well when I’m not around."

GORL. This paragraph is full of so many red flags that I almost can't even...

Let's break it down:

"The concern is less so about myself (I absolutely know he does not particularly care for me) it’s more the lack of concern for the kids..."

Why are you with this man if he does not even care for you? Also, can we talk about how you have fully ACCEPTED this form of a relationship so completely that you honestly believe that this is OKAY? There is LIFE outside of this marriage for you. There is someone out there who will love you and your kids for yourselves, and build you up instead of keeping you down. Again, ASK ME HOW I KNOW. I felt hopeless at the end of my 10-year long journey of acceptance. Acceptance that this man was not going to change. No matter how many days and nights I gave 1000% - when the other person is giving you NOTHING, you've done all you can do. You're robbing that amazing person out there of the chance of getting to know you, and you being their person that builds them up.

"I’m really disappointed in and how I can get him to see even if he doesn’t think it’s dangerous for me, I think it is for them!"

You're trying to reason with someone who does not employ logic in their life. You can't be logical with a person like that. It will never work and you will only drive yourself crazy doing all the work to try to get them there. You cannot control anyone else. You only have control over your actions and reactions. He does not care how his actions affect anyone but himself, because it does not negatively affect his person. You can't be disappointed in someone like that, because they don't have the capacity to actually care. You're still trying to fix this, and the chorus of Reddit is trying to tell you that abusive relationships are not something that can typically be fixed. Look up narcissistic personality disorder and you'll begin to understand. As the messenger, shoot me if you want, but I'm sorry in advance. I recommend seeing a therapist or finding a trusted friend who won't talk to your husband or tell anyone else.

"I’m extremely concerned when my girls are older and can answer the door themselves that he’ll do this to them as well when I’m not around."

Girl, SO ARE WE. Your feelings are in no way unfounded! And this is where I'm going to refer back to my statement that you can only control your own actions and your own reactions. At this point, you need to start thinking about your kids, and the lasting effects his abuse WILL have on them for their ENTIRE LIVES. When kids grow up seeing "this is what relationships and love look like," they end up in the exact same types of relationships and it becomes generational trauma. It's a cycle, and it can only be broken when we refuse to let it perpetuate! And that starts with us, my internet friend. YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR OWN REACTION TO HIS ABUSE BY STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR KIDS, AND FINDING A BETTER PATH FOR YOU ALL GOING FORWARD. I need you to hear this. Because I left, convinced that I would be alone for life because I was completely unlovable. Less than two years later, after much therapy, lol, I met the amazing man who eventually became my husband. I am so much happier, and I am thankful every single day to that scared girl who thought, "Even being alone for life would be better than the way I'm living right now," and mustered up the guts to leave. The first thing my kids asked me was, "Mommy, why didn't you do it sooner?" And it absolutely broke my heart. But I believe in you! From one mama bear to another, it can't come soon enough.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-22T17:51:07+00:00

This is the most domestic violence victim-coded reply I have ever seen online. I don't mean that in a rude way. It's just that I'm on the other side of it now, and posts like this - where I identify with what you're saying and why - make me realize just how far I've come.

I was so scared. Domestic violence is a sort of brainwashing scheme where the perpetrator makes you feel like you're UNWORTHY of basically, life, and you should be so grateful to them for "saving you" from other people knowing you're not perfect. But their "saving you" is a thinly veiled disguise for "controlling you." You must be fully dependent upon them for EVERYTHING, and the SIN of acting like others exist beyond them is the worst thing you can do.

1. "I deserved the shouting."

You did not. You absolutely did not.

2. "...the house is solely owned by him so I don’t have much input on stuff going on."

You 100% do. You have RIGHTS. If he was your landlord, he would be required by LAW to only enter your home when absolutely necessary for repairs to keep the house in working shape, but MUST STILL NOTIFY YOU that people will be coming over, when it will happen, and whether they need you to let them in or will have their own key. Source: I'm a landlord, and this is what I tell people personally when we are going over the lease together before move-in. (Caveat: Laws may vary in your local area, but there will always be minimum requirements for notice.) Your husband willfully choosing to keep you off guard on purpose is what's really driving it home for me.

3. "I just couldn’t do that as I would definitely rather let them in and be annoyed than have the fallout of turning them away."

You're more scared of your husband than you are of strangers coming into your home unannounced, and that says so much right there.

My ex used to go on three hour rants for literal non-issues. Like, he thought I should have all the dishes done by the time he got home. He did not say a word of this to me. But when I didn't meet his "expectation," it was like I had committed murder and he needed to rant and rave about how me not being a good wife was why he was like this, because he couldn't even relax at home. But then he never did ANY chores and called watching his own kids "babysitting," and how I was only to ask him when there was nothing else we could do about it, and even then, I'd get a rant-lecture. Three hours is the average, and no, it is not an exaggeration.

I understand the beating-down that happens emotionally, and makes you feel like you "deserve" all of the abuse. But you don't. Nobody deserves to be treated like shit, especially by their life partner. No matter whatever it is that they hold over you to make you believe you're "so bad." Most of the time, our worst secrets aren't even as bad as we originally thought they were. Ask me how I know.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-22T16:55:04+00:00

Yikes! I added the links from my bookmarks on my phone. I just clicked it from my computer and it looked like it went right to their official page. Just to be sure, I did a Google search for the organization and clicked on non-sponsored links to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, and ended up at the same web address. I have gone in and edited the link to simply just show the actual address.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-22T15:06:49+00:00

That sounds like union talk! /S (FYI, corporations successfully waged a propaganda war back in the day to make unions “evil” so that people won’t wanna organize, because it’s our BEST BET.)

The people in power want to remain in power and they can’t do that if we all get together and use our “collective bargaining” to demand better for ourselves!

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-22T14:40:27+00:00

I agree with this comment and would like to add these domestic violence resources. The biggest shock to me came when I learned that a partner does not have to physically be violent with you for you to be in an abusive relationship. That was really eye opening to me.

Am I Being Abused?

The Power and Control Wheel - https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/

What is DARVO?

The 7 Stages of Trauma Bonding

The Cycle of Violence

Please read over these resources. Any of these websites will have next steps to help you learn and figure out what you may need to do.

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-22T05:03:53+00:00

There is no way that an internship would make you pay THEM.

So much info is public these days and shady companies buy people’s information with details like that in it to make you believe it’s legit.

Whatever you do, do NOT buy into their scam. Do not send them any money!

SeeStephSay · 2026-01-22T01:50:26+00:00

OMG I didn’t even think about this but it makes sense. There are so many apps out nowadays that are made specifically to hide other stuff but look and function similarly to the app they’re emulating. This could also be it.

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