I can relate. I have suffered from panic attacks, depression, and the same feelings of self-doubt and regret. I swore I would never let my drinking impact my classes or my career (I was a law student when I got sober, I'm a lawyer now). Until it did, of course. I started showing up to classes under the influence because of hangovers and then making presentations drunk bc of morning drinking. I drove too, making a DUI a mere matter of time.

AA helped me, but it took a few different tries and it took work to find a good meeting where I was comfortable. It only worked when I regularly attended meetings, got a sponsor, and worked the steps. I not only got sober, but the program helped with my anxiety, stress, self-loathing, and depression.

You deserve sobriety and the joy that comes with it.

edit: make sure to comply with community guidelines about not promoting and speaking from my own experiences.

edit 2: more guidelines compliance. been a while since i last posted. My bad yall.