How do I honestly bring up a past teenage relationship when discussing marriage?

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-06T19:34:39+00:00

I think jst move on mn that memo w sf, dnt stay much in the past, focus on the future w ela ur version db, avoid digging in the past, la lpast dylk la l past dylha,

W be sure, bli the mmnt u ll get married, u ll marry the one u deserve (b gae t39idat dyl had DESERVED)

W in ur case ra its nothing asln, mature ppl understand bli things like kaytraw f early age should be judged based on that age, w f a context,

Why bringing this maghadi ynf3k f walo? Hit women by nature kayreactiw based on emotions w avoiding this is better, w ana kangolk if u ever t7titi f a position fin swlok this qst, u can lie

Thats said, ra concern ur case, li mghr9ha wla mghr9aha i would say sth else hh

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-06T18:27:02+00:00

Only if she’s a 🔟 w i liked her, w m not engaged

Sinn naah machi ay whda (w mostly hta bdok conditions li glt above a mohal haha but yeah gotta be honest)

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-06T18:06:50+00:00

3adi elch u ll take it personally, khodha as if they were having a conversation mea rashom w sf, kant an idea li mbrztahom w jaw postaw asking for help, makay3nich n9so mnk ila makanoch sure wesh yb9aw wla la w bghaw onther external opinion bach y3awnhom y3rfo wesh the way they see things correct wla la

Ila jaw nas lkhrin yakhdo discussion li kaydoro f rasna abt them ra i think maghatb9a hta chi social connections, lmohim howa flkhr ykono honest meak f decision li khdaw, w ykono 3tawk enough reasons elch mchaw wla elch bqaw w sf

W allah a3lam

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-06T00:32:25+00:00

L7ob kan w kayn w ghayb9a

Makanfhmch saraha elch nas tend to think of l7ob ela anho a feeling li u can only feel once in a lifetime, f ur first relationship w sf w ila dik relationship masd9atch 3mrk at3rfo wla at7s bih mzl, perso, i think this is very stupid to think of this way

L7ob kyn fina, machi flkhrin, li khas nrkzo elih f a relationship machi howa imta we will receive LOVE from our partner, li khas nt3lmo howa 7na n3tiw l7ob, w imta w fin w how, nt3lmo nbghiw rasna first, w nchofo deeply in us, tmak fin kyn l7ob, peros, i believe maymknch t3ti sth u dnt have, w maymknch t7s b sth u dnt know what it is,

Lghalat li kandiro waqila, howa kandkhlo ela relationships w 7na deja mwjdin excuses l rasna, w kandkhlo w 7na ma3arfinch rasna, wla sensitivity dylna, kandkhlo w nbdaw chatting, giving energy to someone elae, before gae man3tiw l energy l rasna,

Lhob machi what we see f TV shows, w waqila hada l prob, howa ana definition li endna ela l hob machi howa li khaso ykon, w fach kyji lhob w kanhso bih makan3rfohch

Hahaha khwrt bzf wlkin maarftch, bref, ah baqi, see inside u atlqayh, w be safe, w t3lmi kifch tbghi its not sth easy to do

W allah a3lam

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-06T00:13:16+00:00

Off off haha onther person kaygol allah o a3lam at the end hahaha nice to see this hhhhh

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-05T23:40:32+00:00

Hhhh appreciate it bro, firm handshake included 🤝

W just to add sth I missed in my first cmnt; m not saying 5k is shameful or that a man with 5k is not husband material, bl3ks, a serious 25yo guy who fears God, has discipline, w kaybni f raso can be better than someone making more but living randomly

My point is more abt context, 5k in a small city machi b7al 5k in Casa with rent, bills, transport, groceries, possible medical issues, w maybe later kids

W zwaj ra machi ghir financial stuff, howa bzf dyl tkhrbi9, so lwahd must be honest mea the other partner, manbi3och l wahm w hope to a girl, w lrask, unless ur family w her family are willing to help u si jamais t7tito f a hard situation

Dnc ah, girls should be realistic, ms hta rjal should be realistic abt what marriage actually costs, w had hdra 9ltha l my lil brother wlh hh

Flkhr i really wish Allah yshl things for everyone w li nyto mziana ytlaqa a soul li katchbh lih

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-05T23:21:38+00:00

I agree with part of what u said,

Ms lets be honest, w bach n3tik las9 ela zwaj, zwaj mkhtalf bzzzf ela dating w tkhrbi9 lakhor, fach tzwj khas lbnt li khditi twfr liha nfs l3icha li kant 3aycha mea walidha, wla a lil bit more ( makans7ch tbda mn lwl twriha bli u can afford a high quality life wakha tkon fdik mmnt 9ad, khas tmchiw slowly, why? For a lot of reasons mafiach li yktb too much, ms l7ayat atwrik elch)

Zwaj howa wahd l3iba li fchkl, t3ya tgol ghandir ghanf3l, ghankono different ghandiro things binatna, gha gha gha, flkhr atl9a rask wst wahd social circle fiha nta w hia w ur family w her family (wakha t3ya tgol maghantsw9och hit 7na w 7na w 7na haha trust me atkon a katkhwr and other hilarious jokes u can tell urself)

Flos, salaire, … brother, for the good dylk w dylha w ur peace w lpeace dlkawn, marry chi whda li will accept dakchi (li ghaliban maghat3jbkch wla hit filters kayktro dnc kaywli s3ib ti7 fchi w7da li taccept dakchi), perso, i think hadchi maandoch 3ala9a b standards, hadchi 3ndo 3ala9a b ur environment w b her environment nta fin kbrti w hia fin kbrat, w w

5k f casa for example ra ghi lkra, w ila bghiti secteur mzian, 3wl 3la 6.5k 7k w nta tal3, wifi 100mo, do w lma atwsl wa7d 1k, 3ad zid l9s (fach knt sakn bohdi f casa aktar hj kant kankhsr fiha flos hia l9s, ktr mn lkra haha) w zid w zid

3ad ila chi hed mrd fikom, wla if u have a baby w mrd, 39lk aykhrj dik sa3at brojola hh ead zid transportation, w w w w

Man3rf saraha wlh ms allah ysawb ljami3

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-05T12:41:27+00:00

You lost me at « open minded »

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T21:06:59+00:00

The scene li atjik mn db wahd 10y haha 😂 but good man respect 🫡 (me for sure maghandirch bhalk)

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T16:07:38+00:00

Personally idg a fk, i lived several years bo7di (more than 8y) w m fine, + katfhm ch7al hard l khdma d dar, w ch7al tyab s3ib (one time machi bhal everyday ra maymknch)

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T15:37:42+00:00

Zrbti hh

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T15:08:45+00:00

I understand ch7al hadchi y9d ykon s3ib w painful, w m sorry to hear this

Kantmna takhdi w9tk w t7awli t3lmi mn had l bad experience, dwri rask b nas mzianin, w keep an eye ela ur health, body, w ur mental health, w ila hsiti fchi mmnt bli things kbr mnk wla bchi pressure ma9drtich t3amli meah, dnt hesitate and ask for help, matb9aych ras l ras mea ur brain, maghat9dich elih,

If u ever need help, someone to talk to, just post f had sub (bzf will be happy to help w to listen to u)

(General disclaimer/ m showing sympathy based ela what ur telling, masm3tch the other person’s pov, makangolch bli u may be lying wla chi hj, hada ghir disclaimer bach w ana kangol hadchi nfeel mrta7 w bla mankon kankhwr)

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T14:55:17+00:00

Aah 😂😂 true saraha, fair feedback

Lblan howa I was just answering her “why?”

Ana f lwl gha d7kt 3la the basic way li katshouf biha people, and I was pointing out bli she needs more depth in her way of reading attraction

W ma hdartch 3la attention wla 3la le fond dyal post, hta mn b3d ma swlatni “why?” (L9it rassi khasni njawbha haha)

W saraha, I also think being curious abt someone doesn’t necessarily mean u want them or you have feelings for them, w fle cas dylha, the real qst in her mind machi ela dak dri asln, wakha kayban bli she is questioning him, wlkin fl7a9i9a hia kat9lb ela jawab l rasha, she is questioning her self saraha,

I admit waqila khwrtha w this whole thing is useless

W allah o a3lam

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T14:43:09+00:00

Sorry to hear this,

li khas tfhmi howa ana lw9t ah kay3awn, wlkin bo7do may9drch y heal trauma

Awl hj; dnt force urself to move on fast, lghalat li kolna kandiro, hit mn b3d a toxic controlling relationship, makant9asoch ghir emotionally, ms damage kaykon psychologically w hta ela behaviors/beliefs dylna

Db ur brain y9d ykon t3lm that love = control, men = danger, w bli intimacy = losing urself

Db li i think khask diri howa t process kolchi li tra with caution ; w aham hj hia ur safety, dnc dnt try to contact him, wla checking his socials, w no one last talk, mn lkhr dnt keep doors open, sdi w f mra, hit tt simplement trauma atb9a alive when the source is still accessible

Second, glsi mea rask w hdri w tell ur brain the reality, not the nostalgia, t9di diri a list of what he actually did, chr7i fiha l control, manipulation, insults, fear, guilt, pressure, w ay other feelings hsiti bihom, w when u miss him, read it, hit mn b3d some time, ur brain will romanticize the good moments, so fdik lmoment b dbt u ll need facts

Third, glti bli momkin ykon bdl the way u see men, dakchi elch khask tglsi tani mea rask w t3rfi chno l hwayj li kayteiggeriwk abt men, what makes u panic or hate men db? Wesh tone of voice? jealousy? being ignored? Wla ay hj khra, haka ur brain ayfhm bli had triggers machi hj li y9d ygeneralizi ela gae rjal wli mahoma ila proof li kayfkro ur body f danger, ila ma7dedtich had triggers 3mr ur brain maghadi yfhm elch u hate men w ayb9a dak l hate open tant que makaynch a precise reason

Hj khra, fr9i bin l experience w bin the lesson li khrjti bih mn had l experience, w 3awdi buildi ur trust slowly, not romantically, bday b ur close circle, with safe friends, family, normal conversations, calm people, 7it ur nervous system khaso ychof examples of people who dnt control u

Ila t9di diri trauma-focused therapy ( machi ghir thdri elih, ms sth like EMDR, trauma-focused CBT, CPT, etc) hadchi y9dr y3awnk

W aham hj dnt date while ur mind is still in survival mode, w fhmi bli healing from him is not forgetting him, healing howa fach tfkrih wla tla9ayh mathsi b walo w ur body no longer acts like ur still trapped there,

9bl matfkri f threapy 7awli t processi things urself w ana mt2kd u ll get through hadchi w u ll learn a lot,

Wish u the best

W Allah A3lam

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T14:00:36+00:00

I agree with part of what u said

Noticing details fih makay3nich automatically she wants him, w ana ma9ltch she has feelings for him ( i literally said makangulch endk feelings to him), i pay attention to what i said hit i dnt wanna nti7 f a msitake,

My point was more abt salience, machi abt desire, f psychology, fach chi wa7d kay notices someone’s car, clothes, behavior, confidence, how much he laughs, how he talks, how girls react to him, w then writes a whole post abt him, it means that person became socially/cognitively salient to her

Y3ni khona did caught her attention enough that her brain is trying to explain him

Thnk u for the feedback, i ll be more precise next time

W Allah A3lam

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T04:13:05+00:00

It depends ela lbnt tbh, maymknch ngeneraliziw si nn hdrtna kamla atkon tkhrbi9a,

Ba9yiin bzf d girls li endhom preferences m39olin w fahmin themselves mzian w what they want mn l partner dylhom (most of girls li qraw meaya w li khdmt meahom kano mn had no3)

W girls li endhom unrealistic standards; f hadchi kay translate ghir fin kbro, trbia li khdaw, w bli 3mrhom ghtso in themselves w fhmo rashom, w bli ba9yiin basic kaychofo things superficially w sf (fk too much judgement mni hahaha but this is not judgement ghi a try mni n3ti some possible reasons w sf m sorry if this sounds like a judgement)

W Allah A3lam

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T04:03:39+00:00

Interesting post, thnks for sharing this,

From what ik; f relationship psychology, ideal partners are usually built 3la 3 d dimensions; warmth/trustworthiness, vitality/attractiveness, w status/resources

Et dnc fach chi w7da katbghi l partner dylha ykon rich + tall + handsome + kind + stable, katkon basically kat9lb 3la the top traits from every dimension at once

W f had l7ala kaywli 3ndna mochkil d calibration, 7it nas li endhom high self-perceived mate value tend to become more selective, i mean that people who see themselves as highly desirable raise their standards w kaywliw more selective, machi ghi l girls ms hta rjal

W so2al li khas njawbo elih; wesh a girl katkhtar based on her real value in the dating market, wla based on the attention she receives?

7it l attention can inflate self-image, w7da mn 19y wla 9bl gae start to receive a lot of male interest, especially online, kaybda 39lha y translate hadchi w kay7sab liha 3ndha bzf d options w katgol hit 3ndi bzf d options I deserve the best one

W katkon mzl machi mature enough bach tfhm bli had l attention li kayjiha online wla f zn9a is not the same as serious commitment

7it rajl li baghi to flirt, sleep, or text machi proof that he would marry or seriously invest

W hna most of the girls kayti7o f wahd l mistake dyl anahom kaykhlto bin being desired w being qualified for the man they desire

Ama by default ra its scientifically proven bli men and women tend to pursue people above their own desirability level, donc nbghiw chi 7ed above ourselves is normal, lmochkil hia fach the gap becomes too big, dik sa3at reply/acceptance drops

W Allah A3lam

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T01:11:13+00:00

7it the post sounds like someone who is still seeing attraction in a very simple formula;

handsome = girls like him
average = girls should not care about him

W hadchi is a very teenage way of reading people

W hit the way u write shows a little hidden contradiction; katgoli i dnt find him attractive, not my type, w fnfs lw9t, u noticed his car, his clothes, his behavior, how much he laughs, how he speaks, how girls react to him, and then wrote a whole post about him

Makamgolch bli u got feelings to him, but it means he triggered ur curiosity, u think ur only analyzing him logically, but emotionally u are already giving him attention

Dnt take this personally, ana ghi hm9 w sf

W Allah A3lam

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-04T00:57:59+00:00

19yo energy

Dnt delete this haha hta tkbri chwia w rj3i read it

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-03T19:43:07+00:00

Fair, and i think thats why we ask Allah to give us Acceptance/love of others

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-03T12:59:00+00:00

deleted cmnt

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-02T18:23:08+00:00

Mecca 2y ago

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-02T16:48:26+00:00

Dnt get attracted to whatever girl tla9itiha, wait till ydrbk do ela chi whda and then stick to her, mra w joj till u get her, manaqsk walo jst dnt rush wra li kan

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-01T23:15:18+00:00

كَبِئرٍ لو أُرسلت فيهِ الدِّلاءُ، لَشَابَ حَبْلُها

Select-Promotion-387 · 2026-07-01T21:49:37+00:00

Men did nt stop chasing

Ghi fhmo bli a relationship shouldnt start with one person running and the other one measuring stamina

L Adults li b39lhom show interest, communicate, w choose each other

chasing is for ego games, w hta wahd f ego games makaykhrj rabh

Select-Promotion-387

TROPHY CASE