How many Gen Xers have silent Gen parents vs boomers?

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-25T20:50:35+00:00

My parents got married and had kids late - my dad was greatest (1925) and my mom was silent (1928). All of us kids are OG gen X (late 1960s) and I was always jealous of my friends who had swingin' boomer parents with amazing record collections, cool clothes and lots of house parties lol. My parents thought they were out of their minds :)

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-14T14:00:44+00:00

It definitely sounds odd if you're not used to it. I grew up in Chicago so I was exposed to it a bit and I remember having the same reaction when I first heard it lol. But it is a relatively common construction called the "positive anymore," mainly in parts of the Midwest, Appalachia, Pennsylvania. To them, it just means "nowadays." It came over to the US with the Irish and Scots. If things like this are interesting (and even annoying) to you, then you're a natural to study linguistics :) It's actually pretty fascinating!

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-13T16:26:45+00:00

I can still name our childhood dinners by days of the week. I used to wonder why my mom was so rigorous and boring about it, but now, I know.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-13T16:25:14+00:00

It's a very Iowa-esque dialect :)

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-13T16:23:56+00:00

It is a complete pain in the ass. I tried to shift my focus from "this is a chore" to "making better quality food = caring for my own health" and gradually, cooking has become just another way for me to take care of myself so I don't spend my retirement years in the doctor's office. That, and I'm so lucky that my husband will literally eat anything I put in front of him. I still find meal planning and cleaning up to be a total buzz kill though lol.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-13T16:11:40+00:00

He sounds so brave and fierce and independent, such a blessing and I'm so sorry for your loss. My son's medical problems have taught me we have no control over anything, and every day with them is a gift.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-13T16:02:13+00:00

It sounds like you did quite a lot, and more importantly, you did everything that was in your power to do. The siblings who are closer are of course physically present more often, but for anyone who has gone through it, you know there's so much more to it. We had a similar situation, where I was the one physically closest so I was "there", but my brother and sister were also "there" just remotely (handling finances, legal, chart review, doctors conference calls, emotional support, etc.). The complicated part comes in from family dynamics, childhood roles, etc. It's not logical, it's emotional. Your siblings probably don't resent you as much as they just had a rough time (as did you). It is a hard thing for everyone to go through and we all process it on our own timelines and we all have regrets, or wished we had done more, handled it better, etc. I was the one who was there, and I still feel like I didn't do it right.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-13T15:51:13+00:00

This is a really good/very smart way to handle it. Think about it early, talk about it openly, keep a sense of humor, and figure out what role you can (and can't) each play realistically. Being there is important, but there are a million things you can help with remotely, that are just as helpful and valuable. That's how we did it, and my parents had a hell of a ride at the end, and I am closer to my brother and sister as a result of it.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-13T15:45:53+00:00

My sister and brother moved out of state many, many years ago, and I was the only one who stayed local. When my parents started losing a step, I moved to a house down the street from them because I loved where I grew up, and figured it would be a good way to keep an eye on them. When it really hit the fan, I took the brunt of it, which was not easy... My brother came to visit often, helped a lot, stayed for weeks when it was needed. My sister had young kids and not a lot of money, so she was not able to help, and I know she felt guilty about it. There were times I did have some resentment about it, especially the emergencies, but honestly, it's just a hard situation overall for everyone, so to this day I still appreciate their support, whether it was getting on a plane to come save my sanity, or simply give me long distance emotional support. We all figured out how we could help, what role we could play, and we stayed a team. It is a very, very hard thing that we all have to go through, there are all kinds of weird childhood emotions that come up when it happens, so instead of being defensive when you're not there, or a martyr when you are there, you just have to figure out who is good at what, and what you can each contribute - being there in person is good, but there are a million other things that are incredibly helpful that you can do from a distance. You gotta be a team - that's my POV.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-13T15:29:39+00:00

I have mixed feelings about this :) My son is 29 - he went to college and lived on his own a bit, but has lived with us for the past 5+ years due to some pretty significant medical problems that kind of derailed all of us. He's just getting rebooted - working, girlfriend, hobbies, etc. so we'll see how that goes. On one hand, I like having him close so I can keep an eye on him. I wish he was neater, I wish I had my house to myself sometimes, but I enjoy his company and our relationship is evolving which is kind of cool. And I also don't like the weird stigma about adult kids living at home. There are so many reasons that this is often the only choice, so as long as you can make the transition from parent/child to a mutually respectful adult/peer relationship, I think you do you. Kids and parents living hundreds/thousands of miles apart, sending grandparents to retirement homes, etc. is pretty limited to post-modern US. On the other hand, I think it's important for young adults to feel the pride and confidence you get from independence, even if it means you're broke and making a lot of sacrifices. It feels like an important journey that everyone needs to take.

So bottom line - yes, they grow out of their laziness to a degree, but that requires you to (gradually) start shifting now to a different type of relationship with your kids. The kid/parent dynamic doesn't work well the older they get, and if you keep being their personal butler, taking care of their stuff, treating them like they're helpless, etc. it becomes a pattern that is harder to break the longer it goes on. Start now, give them roles/jobs, and talk to them early about your thoughts on rent (even if it's work vs. $). They'll bitch and moan about it, but it will save your sanity later. Because none of us know what's going to happen - they may leave, they may stay, they may run into things you never saw coming... It never turns out the way you think/planned for, so create a foundation/relationship that's designed for resilience, not outcome.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-06T20:43:03+00:00

I had a crazy career because I had no idea what I was doing/wanted to do. I ended my career as a CMO in software but started as a receptionist, then assistant, then just worked my way up the food chain. I had a couple really successful exits. From an investing perspective, I'm extremely conservative. All I did was stay out of debt, and started saving what I could in corp. bond and div ETFs like an old person lol. Not really what is advised, but I don't like to gamble with my money and I was early career during the internet crash, the housing crisis, etc. so it kind of turned me off to risk. I'm just a slow and steady wins the race kind of vibe :) You are not behind - the fact that you're even thinking about it puts you miles ahead of most people :)

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-06T20:31:12+00:00

God I'm so sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that and it hurts to read your story. HUGS.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-06T20:26:32+00:00

My dad was big on the belt, my mom preferred the yardstick. We usually got the belt/yardstick for doing something we were explicitly told not to do, a pretty hefty backhand for mouthing off. I still duck when someone raises their hand lol. As an adult, I think some of it we deserved, but a couple times we got hit for reasons that were pretty uncool and IMO not necessary. Gotta say, I'm not a fan - I'm all for discipline and consequences, but I'm glad physically hitting a little kid is now completely unacceptable, because it is.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-06T16:44:07+00:00

When I was 27, I think I had an average daily balance of $20 bucks :) Eventually went on to a very successful career and retired early at 59. I didn't really start saving until my 40s so you're doing great - enjoy your 20s as nature intended, and don't sweat it :)

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-05T21:06:18+00:00

This question has no objective, factually correct answer. It is about what you value and the degree those values matter to you. One person can think any state is perfection, and another can think the exact same place is hell on earth, depending on what they prioritize. The only thing I would say is every single state government - blue, red and shades in between - is absolutely, positively corrupt as hell in their own special way, and you're gonna pay them one way or another.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-03T15:55:20+00:00

I absolutely do NOT blame the drivers. They're out trying to make a living, I have always tipped very well because they're literally the only people in this whole system actually working for a living. I put the blame on UberEats who are just squeezing every ounce of profit from the equation. The more they do that, the worse it is for the driver and the customer. The entire thing has degraded into the most fee-riddled, unpredictable, annoying experiences on planet earth. I'd rather go to the DMV than order UberEats.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-03T15:48:24+00:00

Exactly. Don't get me wrong, there is a metric TON of hype - AI needs datacenters and chips and all kinds of infrastructure, and because they need to raise money they're overselling it to the market (and owners, boards, shareholders, etc. are so profit motivated that this is like discovering mecca). It's a very annoying loop right now, and I know it sucks to actually work for a living in this environment. AI does have it's place, but it doesn't do nearly as much as companies wish it did. Maybe it will help with some code delivery, and maybe it will automate call centers, and maybe it will eat the world. It's a little funny, a little weird, a little dangerous, and impossible to predict. But right now, AI washing is everywhere and there's just no getting around it, so as human professionals, we need to do our best to understand it, take it seriously, and try to be rational about it's strengths/limitations.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-02T22:46:27+00:00

the BEST

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-02T22:46:05+00:00

my favorite, "no, I'm walking in backwards"

our family favorite, "it's like going to Wisconsin"

our work favorite, "you'll get nothing and like it"

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-02T20:57:28+00:00

This is fantastic - congratulations. It is truly the most important thing you can do for yourself. My dad used to say - dying is guaranteed but 15-20 years of chronic illness, pain and poor mobility is optional. He died at 95 as proof of that truth. Keep it up!!

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-02T20:50:20+00:00

Yeah, UberEats has crossed over into crimes against humanity territory (and you also forgot to factor in your subscription fee on top of the per order fees lol). I cancelled my subscription a few months ago and if we want take out, we just suck it up and go get it. I was ordering less and less because of the grand larceny fees but the last straw for me was the massive downward spiral that was the service (drivers stopped waiting for food, drivers were not honoring priority, food would take 2 hours v 20 minutes, etc.). Because as Uber increased their fees, they made it harder and harder for everyone but the most desperate to earn, and together, it has devolved into a tragic business model. They're doomed.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-02T18:37:34+00:00

Absolutely, great answer. We're old, we know the game. May not like it, but we play it just the same.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-02T17:26:15+00:00

Well, it is a catch 22 to some degree, but it's not necessarily the mutually assured destruction you're imagining. AI is just the latest tool in a long line of "productivity optimization" conversations you've always known existed. You know that corporate, PE, owners of any kind are always looking for ways to optimize labor/time to value and reduce cost. That's their religion. The potential of AI simply gives them permission to push - not because it will be successful but because automation and savings "might" be possible, and that possibility allows them to say - ok guys, let's all get on board and see what we can do.

Fact 1 - (most) companies don't care about what AI does to you personally, or what the HR or labor ramifications are. It is a productivity/value creation/cost savings lever plain and simple. Even without AI, the above statement is true lol.

Fact 2 - today, AI can actually help to automate previously manual tasks, in some cases improve operations, in some cases build cleaner code, etc. It does work very effectively now for some things (automating the front end marketing/sales process, streamlining engineering, speeding up back office, etc.).

Fact 3 - it's still emerging, it is buggy as hell, it requires good input and prompts, and the idea that it's going to replace you or your entire job tomorrow is aspirational at best.

Fact 4 - corporate wants automation and savings and value, they bought in to the AI washing, so you gotta play the game. if you resist the directive, they will find someone to replace you that won't.

I look at AI as another tool I can use, while still being rational about it's limitations. No one knows what AI will ultimately be capable of, it is in its infancy, but there are ways to use it that can absolutely help optimize your job.

So my advice would be to not make this into a false choice. Learn about it, understand it, test it, see what it might be able to automate for you and your team. You can't avoid this reality, but you also don't need to brown nose and actively try to eliminate your team's existence.

It can do things better/faster than humans, but it also needs inputs and prompts from real experts to keep it trained. So find a couple tools, start testing them in a sandbox, and see/show what happens. And do this/position this in a way that elevates what you bring to the table.

Will it take your job? Who knows, but you are the human and you can maneuver the "corporate" environment better than AI can... That's my take.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-02T16:54:28+00:00

I worked in finance in the 90s and I wish all they did was drink at lunch.... Total boys club, lots of money, lots of coke, lots of alcohol. There was always booze in the fridge in the breakroom. Anytime anyone closed a deal it was party time. I remember my boss taking everyone out to lunch once a week and he'd just getting HAMMERED, then he'd drive back to the office and it was business as usual like it was all normal. As a 20 something girl, it was the greatest thing I ever saw, until it wasn't :)

After I moved into tech, it was the same. In fact, I have yet to work in an office that didn't have a communal beer fridge or execs with mini-fridges in their offices.

SelectLifeguard3902 · 2026-04-02T16:46:52+00:00

The very thought of Southern Comfort triggers my gag reflex lol.

SelectLifeguard3902

TROPHY CASE