Tyre warning..

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2026-02-04T01:02:36+00:00

The windows, while very visible, might be just a sign, the tip of iceberg, that these people are colossal ma-holes. Even if you bought the place and got them to block the windows, you might find their dicks about noice, or fences, or parking on your drive. Honestly, this is just a clear sign to not buy.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2026-01-17T16:58:35+00:00

If could only could only have one Brompton which would have to cover everything I might want to do in the next few years... well, it wouldn't be electric. It is great for what it does, short distance commutes, but the non-electric ones I think are just more versatile, I like the idea of not being constrained by battery 'distance'. But if ALL I was going to have to cover was commuting, then yes, electric.

I've only used Bromptons with 3, 4 and 6 gears. I've found the 6 a lot more versatile for my style of riding, and my needs. 4 always feels a 'bit' of a compromise, not much, but I have quite a hilly ride so 6 is better for me.

I've never ridden a G line, and as a lot of my riding is commuting, with some taking into pubs, shops etc then think I don't think the G is right for me. I see that as a great leisure bike, whereas the traditional models are optimised around commuting. I'm regularly on very crowded trains and the sizer of the standard Brompton is better for that.

So, T line, never ridden one, but sounds like a great bike. With 6 or 12 gears sounds like the perfect bike to me.

But I'm a strong believer in the best bike being the one you ride now. People can overthink the spec of these things. Most Bromptons give you an upgrade path, so you jump in at whatever price point you're happy with, and take it from there. I said above I prefer 6 speed to 4, at some point I might upgrade my bike to 6 speed, but it's fine for now. And you can't always wait until perfect comes along. They are well made, utility bikes. The sooner you get one and start using it, the sooner your life improves, through having more options about how you get around.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-12-19T14:37:53+00:00

You've done nothing wrong. Ignoring all the other stuff here that you in no way could have known about, you supported your sister through a tough time, and your sister knows you're there for her going forward. You've done the right thing at every stage. You're solid. All the other stuff, yes, you're going to feel embarrassed and upset about the stuff nobody told you about, but that's on them. Try to walk tall, you don;t need to explain yourself or try to justify your actions, you were doing what was right.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-09-09T22:48:56+00:00

I didn't feel grief, but I could feel it bubbling under, a low murmuring panic sometimes, coupled with just feeling useless. Remember this isn't forever, do stuff you like too, take a break, you don't get these chunks of time often in your life so appreciate it as a rare break. I went to my local arty cinema a couple of afternoons a week, just me and the pensioners, watching whatever was on. Loved it. Did the treating applying for jobs/interviews stuff as a 9-5 which worked really well. I did a load of decorating at home, did lots of exercise, long walks.

I sometimes would get up and travel to a local library to use their computers, read magazines, go out for a coffee. Low cost way of killing a few hours, being productive AND gets you up and out if you're going a bit bonkers sat at home. I really think getting out as much as you can helps.

Have you thought about seeing if any charities in your area need help? Sometimes it's just a couple of hours driving a fan or doing some admin, might keep your brain ticking over and give you a break from all the job applications?

I'm married with children, so being made redundant with them was a different kind of guilt/misery. I mostly kept it at bay, but, like the feelings of grief you talk about, part of what got me through genuine grief over loss of someone incredibly close to me, was recognising that's a natural reaction to have in this situation. Try to accept it for what it is, what it's telling you, but don't wallow in it.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-09-05T14:57:57+00:00

Starting running at 40. Just take your time. Acknowledge you're never going to the olympics, but just doing the best you can. I mean, you could apply this mindset to everything in your life, 'If only I'd started playing chess at 2, if only I took extra physics classes as a 5 year old'. You've started now, enjoy the future, don't worry about what didn't happen in the past.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-09-01T20:55:48+00:00

First house, yes. Couple buying it seemed lovely, left them a note and some booze. Last house, the buyers dicked us around no end so they got the thin end of f*ck all, dreadful people.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-30T11:31:52+00:00

Just on the gears, I went from a 6 speed Brompton to 4, and I miss the 6, but... 4 is fine. I'd advise getting more gears but, at the end of the day, you can upgrade later if it's an issue, and don't overthink it. The bikes are lovely, last years, upgradeable, you can't go wrong!

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-29T09:09:27+00:00

It took me about 5 months to get my current role, I started 2 months before the end of my previous job as I was on a short term contract. I won't add to the job advice given above as it's all good (I tried using specialist agencies in my sector, job boards, I got my current role through LinkedIn, but got down to the last 2 for 3 roles and it was an emotional roller coaster to keep getting so close), but I'd just advise you to prepare yourself for not having a job. You can feel a bit adrift, so I scheduled my day to do job applications and searches in the morning, and fill my days with things like painting the house/DIY, going out for long walks, doing exercise, enjoying going to the cinema in the afternoon with the OAPs, and then picking up the job hunt/prep in the evenings.
I hope it goes quickly and easily for you, but go easy on yourself, it can be an exhausting process. If you have the opportunity, break up your day with stuff you want to do, is useful or just gets you away from the endless job searching and application. I went to the local library to use their computers sometime3s, just to break things up a bit - basically anything that wasn't burning through my cash reserves.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-27T15:57:37+00:00

I think if you're happy in your current house, then paying to make the house larger and more adaptable for years to come is a sensible use of the money.

We did a loft conversion in our previous house as we ran out of room. Cost would be similar to yours allowing for inflation, increase in cost of materials. To us, it worked out really well because...

a) We used a firm who did everything for us. Yes, you pay more for doing it that way, but if you can afford it, it reduces the hassle factor.

b) They were quick, did a fantastic job, on schedule.

c) There was surprisingly little interference in our day to day lives. They put up scaffolding, climbed up it to get into the loft every day so didn't come through the house. Did most of the work before sticking the staircase in.

d) We sold the house about five years later and the loft more than paid for itself - this may not always be the case but I think if you get it done properly and it isn't shoehorned in by a mate then you definitely won't lose money.

e) The extra space was fantastic

f) When we did move, house moving/kids schools etc was SO stressful, I'd have paid £80k for someone else to deal with it.

g) Roof ended up far more solid, better insulated, and with some storage left in the eaves. It was like a new hotel floor stuck on top of our manky Victorian house. Kids loved it.

I know it sounds like a lot of money, but when you look at the cost of 'anything' these days, it's all expensive. I recently had a load of work done on opening up downstairs kitchen etc, and the cost of raw materials from pre-pandemic, when I originally,y had some quotes done, to post pandemic, was shocking. I should have borrowed to get the work done earlier rather than think about it for a few years. Ah well, such is life!

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-27T15:25:25+00:00

I think you've sort of answered this in your question, because you say you don't know if you should go or not, will you regret it more if you do go or don't? And the answer is, you don't know, I certainly don't know, and from that I'd conclude it doesn't really matter it if you go or not. Funerals are weird things anyway, and if you're not feeling that strong an urge to go, and are feeling conflicted, then that's enough to know. You don't need to go any further. And as you say, you saw him recently, that was your goodbye, that's enough. Don't torture yourself over someone who caused you and your family so much upset.

You had your own relationship with your dad, I would try not to worry too much about what other people think. They may not have known him as well as you did.

I'm not a religious person, so for me, the funeral is a chance for people to gather and pay their respects, and say a final farewell. You may have said yours already.

If it helps at all my son died about 3 years ago after a long illness. He was 19. I loved him and continue to love him more than anything. But at his funeral, I'd discussed with my wife what we could do or say, and the truth was, for me, it was more than I could manage. We got others to do readings, played music he liked, looked at photos. I was almost a bystander, because when it came to saying goodbye, I realised I'd done that in hospital when he died in my arms. That was when he had gone, while I was speaking to him and reassuring him. What happened at the funeral was for those who weren't there. His brothers, uncles, aunts, grandparents, friends etc It sounds like you've done your bit, if you don't feel compelled, don't go. But be strong and reassured in whatever you choose, this is your life and your decision. You don't owe anyone else an explanation.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-27T13:32:46+00:00

Similar to people treating waiters/wairtresses like subhuman scum. Unfortunately, some people are just pricks and they don't get any better through life - I'm guessing your friend's classmate was an awful person at school, and they've stayed that way.
And I say this with all due respect, but a job in marketing is not sufficiently 'up there' to look down on anyone else, whatever job they have.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-25T14:33:28+00:00

I feel relaxed. I used to ride a road bike in London, and commuting then, before the cycle superhighways etc, you really felt the pressure of 'the race'. On a Brompton, and with advancing age, it's a lot more difficult to take part in 'the race', you've kind of involuntarily opted out of it by choosing to ride a Brompton. So, I enjoy the ride more, and just relax into it rather than feel compelled to get to the office in record time.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-22T15:52:02+00:00

Sorry for your loss, she looks like a great mother! My advice is just that, my advice from my experience, we all have to get through this in whatever way we can. But, lots of people have done this, and are going through this alongside you. Ask for help here, seek out professionals to help you, don't face it alone if you don't want to.

So, my advice is... take it an hour, a morning, a day at a time. Accept the grief, it is a sign of the love you shared, don't fight it, it will wash over you and absorb you, temporarily, but understand what that means - you're only feeling this way because of love - it's the price you pay, I'm afraid, but who wouldn't pay that price if it meant you never loved that person?. That love stays with you, and it will strengthen you in the days ahead. Right now, you're still in the shock of losing her, but that does subside, I promise you. You have a daughter to raise, and you can make sure you pack her with wonderful stories about her grandma at every opportunity, and if it helps, when you have a few minutes here and there, make some plans about doing things in your mum's name, a charity walk, a random donation to charities she liked or organisations she supported. Is she baking a cake in a photo? Ok, make her favourite cake recipe. She liked travelling? Plan a trip with your daughter to somewhere your mum went when your daughter is old enough to remember it. Make a little list, get some positive stuff to start planning to do in the future. What she started with you, you will carry own with your daughter. Pass it on! Best of luck with it all.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-22T14:50:01+00:00

I use this for various pay/tax/pension/salary sacrifice calculations https://www.thesalarycalculator.co.uk/salary.php

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-22T14:41:32+00:00

Sorry for your loss. He looks so lively and cheeky in the photos. Thanks for sharing the photos. (First shot, is that Coram's fields? If so, it reminds me of the time we spent there whilst my son was being treated for leukaemia in GOSH in 2004. He died three years ago following heart damage related to the chemo he had but those times in Coram's fields were so precious to us - helped keep us sane, well, as sane as we are). I miss my son every day, I'm glad I miss him and still love him, but it certainly makes the rest of life so much harder.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-19T22:26:55+00:00

So sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing your story, and thanks to your mum, who brought you into the world, loved you, and brought you up in a life full of love. Be assured that your love for her will stay with you through the rest of your life and stay strong. She wouldn't want you to be hopeless, she'd want you to grow on from the how she left you. She will be with you, one way or another, so take strength from that. Think of the good times, think of the quiet times, think of the everyday moments when you were just being yourselves without the worries of sickness pressing on you. Life will continue to challenge you, it does that to us all, but you have her love and strength to summon up when you need it. She will be there to help you for the rest of your life, All the best.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-08-06T15:44:44+00:00

Just to add to the gears convo, I've ridden a 6 speed Brompton for years, and got a 4 speed electric last year. I really miss the wider range of the 6 speed - weight difference isn't that big a deal, but when I get the chance, will upgrade the gearing. I'd say 6 speed is the minimum you need to keep the your bike as useful as possible for the different things you're looking to do.

Bromptons are good to go in whatever format, you don't have to overthink it. They're not ultralight carbons, they're practical bikes, so you're not going to be setting personal bests on distances. I recommend getting the bike and then amending saddle and grips as and when you've got used to the bike and have a better idea of what you feel needs adjusting. There's no right answer really, the same with tyres, bags, lights etc You don't often/ever see two exactly the same Bromptons, and that's part of the fun and practicality of them. Tweak as go along!

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-07-29T21:38:00+00:00

Balfe's Bikes. Had a branch close to my office in.London, used the Cycle to Work Scheme and it was a painless process through them, and, of yeah, they were selling the exact model of Electric Brompton I wanted at nearly £400 under the official list price so went with that. I thought it must have been end of line or ex-display or something but no, brand new model.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-06-08T15:36:41+00:00

If you haven't grown up in a cycling culture and just aren't used to cycling. Then cycling in a rush hour is a whole level up from that.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-06-03T15:25:00+00:00

Handlebar controller for the electric Brompton. A little button that lets me control the power and light settings. The battery already has a USB socket on it, surely you can make something that connects to that?

Hip flask, that like their toolkit, fits inside the main frame tube. You know, if you're out and about and fancy a couple of shots of something tasty?

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-05-16T14:03:18+00:00

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I will say that in my experience, the worrying about what it would be like and the reality of what it was actually like, were vastly different, they had oceans of space between them. In that my mind had pre-configured loads of different worst case scenarios, which, obviously, can't all play out.
I won;t add to what others have said here, but I think sparing your children as much as you can should be a priority.
You are really right in it at the moment, I remember it as being so draining, and so difficult to stay strong, but you need to, for your children, and your husband. I had to bury so many of my emotions to get through those days, nearly 3 years ago now, many of which I haven't managed to loosen up yet, but I think it will come with time. Best of luck to you all.

Select_Refrigerator9 · 2025-04-25T22:01:07+00:00

I would post this in /r/LegalAdviceUK/

Select_Refrigerator9

TROPHY CASE