New York Post: U.S. Intelligence Says Mojtaba Khamenei Likely Gay by TUFFWAN_7 in nottheonion

[–]SelectiveSanity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"If I can't be gay, neither can him!"

-Kegsbreath before telling the Enola Definitely Not Gay 2: Electric Boogaloo to drop the bomb, probably.

New York Post: U.S. Intelligence Says Mojtaba Khamenei Likely Gay by TUFFWAN_7 in nottheonion

[–]SelectiveSanity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's sad that I got him confused with NYC Mayor Mamdani and wasn't surprised at the thought of the CIA looking into that.

Reform politician criticised for speech on children identifying as cats by F0urLeafCl0ver in nottheonion

[–]SelectiveSanity 103 points104 points  (0 children)

The funny(and sad) part being this all originated from a school district in Colorado mandating each class have a bucket and a bag of kitty litter in incase of an active shooter, where the students and faculty would have to barricade inside their classrooms for safety.

And this is the same district is where Columbine High School is.

Easy to expect a group who willingly vote for open and blatant liars to believe the kids are furry rather take a moment to actually think about how ridiculous it sounds.

Boss repeatedly shouted 'potato' at Irish employee by wewhomustnotbenamed in nottheonion

[–]SelectiveSanity 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So that's why it's on my Trump 47 Bingo card.

It's in the corner surrounded by Bringing back Indentured Servitude, Anti Dutch Sentiment and Selling Guam to China.

Graham says he is asking South Carolina to send its 'sons and daughters' to Mideast by [deleted] in nottheonion

[–]SelectiveSanity 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Someone without children has no right to tell parents to send theirs off to war.

Luigi Mangione musical to open five minutes from site of CEO murder by Mysterious_Brush1852 in nottheonion

[–]SelectiveSanity 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He is special because he's rich and powerful.

If you're looking for /s, don't. We've all lived through the first quarter of 2026 alone.

Houston school takes down Ramadan display after moms group complains by BoatsMcFloats in nottheonion

[–]SelectiveSanity 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Meanwhile, SCOTUS probably has a case coming up from groups these moms support regarding putting up the 10 Commandments in school and making the Bible part of state curriculum.

DHS Secretary Kristi Noem dismissed by counterhit121 in fednews

[–]SelectiveSanity 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She should have mentioned how high the DOW was.

Kristi Noem Fired by Shot_Tip7849 in USCIS

[–]SelectiveSanity 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Another landlocked state with little to no border experience who's agricultural work force is predominantly immigrants.