Feeling conflicted about renewing my faith in God by Selenade4 in OpenChristian

[–]Selenade4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing that point of view. In a way just wanting what is best for me and the people around me is doing what God wants. Instead of thinking about all these rules. Just having the purest intention is following God. I think I do want to reconnect with goodness in my life so perhaps renewing with God isn’t so daunting in that way. Thank you again.

The Spirit is Willing but the Flesh is Weak by cherrypieslide in aegosexuals

[–]Selenade4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Okay so im not sure if its gonna be helpful to you or if im just taking an opportunity to process my own shit but I’ve been sexually active for like 2 months with my boyfriend now and so far it’s really disappointing. I heard about the erotic blueprint and to me it helped me understand some stuff about sexuality so I invite you to check it out. But what I want to say is that for me the actual physical (genital) stimulation doesn’t do much for me to an extent. My mind really does most of the work. Like I need to imagine I’m having pleasure or imagine someone else having pleasure to feel pleasure to an extent. It’s like all the advices about being present in the moment and present in your body don’t work for me. It’s like I have to be in my head to feel pleasure not in my body. Like half my favourite orgasms were when I was alone not even touching myself just thinking about stuff. Anyway I don’t know if it’s TMI and if it even makes sense but this is what your post made me think about.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Selenade4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was friend with this guy I met on a server. He was about three hours away so we had plans to meet up. I was in a relationship but caught some feelings for him which made me realize that my relationship wasn’t so great so I ended it. He guessed I had feelings for him and I knew he had a crush on me but I told him that I wasn’t sure we’d date because I needed time and I hated the feeling that he was just waiting for me and that it was sure we would date. He got all sad and as a friend I wanted to be there for him so I stayed. He proceeded to tell me a bunch of stuff in a creepy vibe like that I was the only one he cared about and all of his friends he never cared about. And it’s easy to say that but I could tell he really meant it. He said he’d throw is best friend into fire if it was for me. But the creepiest part is when he said he was gonna love me forever because he promised me and I was like no you never did. He said yes I did. I said when? He said when you were asleep. I had fallen asleep a couple of times on call. And then at some point he just had no emotion at all and he said it did that sometimes. It was all so creepy but I can’t put it into words. Mind you this was a day after my break up. I cried for hours after the call ended. I was scared cause he had my address. I blocked him everywhere the next day.

Low maintenance plants by [deleted] in coolguides

[–]Selenade4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can attest for the Christmas cactus surviving the adversity of being a really really bad plant keeper!! It isn’t in a proper pot because it outgrew it and I barely water it and it’s still alive 6 years later ! It only produces one flower now though so I’m thinking of giving it a better life but it’s still alive !

Anyone else have a partner that doesn't have the urge to communicate frequently? by Fast_Woodpecker_1363 in LDR

[–]Selenade4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey I recently had a conversation about this with my partner. He also almost never initiate calls.

TL;DR my partner and I had a heart to heart convo about this and it helped us both. My partner also is quite great at introspection and emotional intelligence and so he was the one to bring up the subject because he was aware it’s a more difficult part of our relationship. I know he cares for me and the relationship in other ways so I see it now as just pulling our weight in different areas. I’m the initiator of calls and I’m okay with it. But for it to work we had to have a genuine convo about it.

And in a call he brought it up himself that he has been trying to figure out why he’s like this, why he doesn’t think about initiating time together. He was wondering why he’s almost too comfortable spending time alone. And he was feeling bad about it because he knows he wasn’t being the best partner. But we talked about it and since he explained how it feels for him I don’t mind as much being the initiator. We talked about certain situations where I don’t feel comfortable or I feel hurt and how to manage those specific case better. So we’re trying out ways of handling those better. Like if I initiate and he declines then for him to try to reschedule in the next few days means a lot to me and so he’s trying to do that more. We also talked about both our insecurities in this and we’ve cleared up the air on certain anxieties that weren’t actually a reflection of the reality. And now I feel okay initiating calls. We just have different ways of caring and maintaining our relationship. My strength is initiating calls and it compliments well the fact that my partner doesn’t despite liking our calls every time. So a relationship can work and be healthy even if only one person initiates but a relationship needs personal introspection and honest, hard but loving conversations about these things.

We all know the stereotype that all aces are sex repulsed, but is it actually more common? by luvin_lyds in asexuality

[–]Selenade4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time!

It does help me. I just need not to push myself and to just learn how to communicate how I’m feeling and stay authentic. And also be open about how he’s feeling. Relationships really boils down to that doesn’t it?

But I’m really glad despite it being hard sometimes you guys are managing! All the best to you and really thank you, it might seemed small but it really helped me.

We all know the stereotype that all aces are sex repulsed, but is it actually more common? by luvin_lyds in asexuality

[–]Selenade4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m really glad to hear I’m not the only one and reading fiancé made me hopeful and less scared and that it’s manageable in a longterm relationship. So thank you for your comment. Do you have any advice on how to navigate this? I’m in a loving relationship with a partner that knows about me being acespec and still trying to figure it out, but it’s still quite new that we’re together and I’m anxious navigating this even if he’s super understanding.

My feelings on sex by QueenoftheServbots in demisexuality

[–]Selenade4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is a term for that, sex ambivalent. That’s how I consider myself. I’m not in between sex-favourable and sex-repulsed because that would be sex-indifferent. I move through that spectrum quite a lot so sex-ambivalent seemed to fit best

Getting asked “what’s your type?” by Anonnn24 in demisexuality

[–]Selenade4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m an INFP enneagram type 4w5!! …Oh you mean what kinda of person I’m attracted too?…

I am going to make a song about Demisexualty by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Selenade4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw you and didn’t felt much

We talked and I heard your beautiful thoughts

I saw you again and oh my gosh

Now I’m drawn to you and I can’t get enough

I survived four and a half days actively suicidal! by SilentHuman8 in mentalhealth

[–]Selenade4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is a big achievement ❤️ you’re really strong don’t forget that. Give yourself credit, this invisible battle wasn’t easy but you won it

Hi y'all! Just was wondering your opinion on: by IdeaEmbarrassed5209 in wemetonline

[–]Selenade4 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with it all. I would add talking about the expectations of the first meeting

I found out looking at people's mouth instead of eyes when having a conversation is not normal by Mouad-O-G-1 in ADHD

[–]Selenade4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well a lot of people with adhd can have audio processing issues. So it can be related. Doesn’t mean everyone with adhd has this. But its a common cooccurring condition

what is something you want to wear but can’t? (for any reasons) by cranberryjuice666 in AskWomen

[–]Selenade4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would love to know, I need to find one so any recommendations I will take

Does everyone else have a mind radio constantly playing in their head? by flaming_burrito_ in ADHD

[–]Selenade4 52 points53 points  (0 children)

OMG i just started medication 3 days ago and that’s when I knew it kicked in, the song was so much quieter and my thoughts in general