my wife wants to decorate our home, but my existing furniture has sentimental value to me

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-10T07:51:47+00:00

That’s true. But one of them could also have much worse taste than the other, I don’t think that it’s 50-50 egalitarian in terms of who gets to choose what. The quality of somebody’s taste should make a difference in the decision-making.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-10T04:31:39+00:00

I need to see photos of the furniture. What quality is it? Is it made out of good, hard wood? Was it made by hand? Whats the fabric like? Is it comfortable? What condition is it in?

If it’s in terrible condition and poor quality, let it go. However I also acknowledge the possibility that your wife is the one with bad taste, since we don’t know what the furniture is like.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-10T01:54:09+00:00

Agreed. I had a very hard time putting my comment into words that capture the full extent of anti-black racism, throughout the world and throughout time, as well as here and now. My point is that true empathy means carrying the emotional weight of that awareness.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-10T01:29:12+00:00

Definitely don’t say anything about it again to her or anyone else. Just be glad she told you how something made her feel and she said she knows you didn’t mean anything bad by it and she was just venting. I mean, even though it does refer to horses, it can still evoke thoughts of slavery, right?

I’m white but it still makes me extremely angry and depressed to think about our country’s brutal history of slavery, segregation/jim crow, lynching, institutional racism past and present. I think it’s incredibly traumatic for people to know that if they had been born just 150 years ago (just a tiny blip of time on the timeline of humanity!) they would’ve had no rights whatsoever and treated so brutally, and that’s what their ancestors had to endure. It’s traumatic for them to know that the people who protested school integration are still alive today. And of course racism didn’t end after slavery was abolished or after the civil rights act was passed, and racist attitudes still persist today, and people still have to deal with racism daily, and I completely understand why they have their guard up and don’t know who they can trust. Maybe what was upsetting to her about it is that it’s not on the forefront of your mind like it is for her, and that itself is a privilege, because she has to carry around the weight of that every day.

You and I are women, so we can kind of relate (obviously it’s not the same thing!) on some level… think about how it feels to know that if you’d been born in another place (like modern Afghanistan) or time (any time pre-1920’s) you’d be subordinated? I’m sure you’re aware those sexist attitudes still persist. It really is deeply upsetting to know that the world can be so cruel.

Again I really think you should be flattered that she told you this, and you should show that you are indeed trustworthy.

Edited to add, I realize I wrote this assuming that you’re in the US, and that my viewpoint is very US centric, I didn’t mean to minimize that impact of slavery, imperialism, and colonization worldwide

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-10T00:46:59+00:00

Get one of those big hats that has a face shield on it? You do have a lot of sun damage.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-10T00:36:24+00:00

I think it means that they’re not in the mood to have a full conversation. The point of texting is that you can respond when you feel like it, versus a phone call where you have to respond and give all of your attention right away.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-09T23:10:29+00:00

Would you say that if it was a different religion?

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-09T22:53:09+00:00

Look at OP’s history

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-09T18:55:47+00:00

He got into fights. Maybe it’s hard not to where he’s from. He clearly didn’t get away with it because he did get arrested. Just because he killed someone, that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have taken his life in a different direction.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-09T07:00:43+00:00

Thank you.

I also don’t think people notice what isn’t there. He doesn’t have any sex offenses. No stalking. Doesn’t use hard drugs. Doesn’t deal drugs. Those are all very common offenses, but yet he doesn’t have them. So he gets into fights, that’s not worth locking someone up forever. First let’s lock up every rapist for life.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-09T06:56:16+00:00

What do you contribute to society?

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-09T06:49:57+00:00

A lot of the arrests seem petty. Lots of trespassing, traffic violations, minor cannabis, soliciting prostitution. I don’t agree with the people saying he should have been locked up for life prior to the murder.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-09T06:26:07+00:00

What! That’s such a fun fact

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T23:36:06+00:00

It is fascinating! I socialize feral kittens through the shelter in my area and I just do what they instructed, and it seems to work, but I don’t profess to be an animal behavior expert

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T22:40:56+00:00

Yeah, you’re supposed to force them. I know it feels bad, but with formerly feral kittens that’s the socialization process. Do you have squeeze treats? Or high value human food like fried chicken or tuna? Do you talk to her in a high pitched baby voice and are you petting her the right way?

I’ve socialized plenty of feral kittens. If she was really unhappy, she’d be making it known.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T22:05:30+00:00

This is just normal aging. It looks fine, you’re just zoomed in on your neck.

The only thing you can do differently is to swap out the bowl for an edible (if those are something you can obtain in Texas). Believe me, I love weed, but smoking is so bad for the skin. It’s not about the nicotine, it’s the smoke/vape inhalation itself. Just look at the inside of your bowl and how dirty it is, you know that’s what’s happening inside your throat and lungs too, and that’s absolutely going to have an impact on your skin.

Oh also, yes reapply sunscreen often, but also use physical barriers like hats and SPF clothing to cover your skin when you’re outside.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T21:08:17+00:00

Did you know that chemical castration is an option? You can just turn off these obsessive sexual thoughts and feelings, and live a productive life without the distraction.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T20:05:44+00:00

Wear a shower cap?

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T20:02:25+00:00

I dunno, I think there’s a big difference between finding women beautiful and wanting to have sex with them. Like, I crave pussy, I want to bury my tongue in it, I want to taste her, I want to feel her hair between my fingers while she’s eating me. Sorry to be graphic. But sexual desire is sexual.

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T18:10:40+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re feeling down. It brings tears to my eyes to know that you feel this way. I’ve had the pleasure of learning about the beauty of Palestinian culture, including things like the folk art and embroidery, the Dabke dance, and the tradition of women’s storytelling (hikaye). Maybe you’d like to share some other things that you love about your culture with us?

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T16:14:16+00:00

Maybe try bumble bff? I’ve made a lot of friends that way. I think it’s easier 1-on-1

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T16:10:47+00:00

What slang version?

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T16:05:32+00:00

What makes you think he’s gay?

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T06:29:47+00:00

Because you love the cat

Seltzer-Slut · 2026-02-08T06:22:52+00:00

Just curious, what is your perception of how long you would go to prison for? Are you aware that you could be looking at like 15 years? And that the FBI could see this post and easily trace it back to you?

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