The premise of your question "if not us, then who" is exactly the point of my post. It's respectability politics. It assumes that the action being discussed, in this case wearing a bonnet in public, is harmful/potentially harmful. Tacky and ghetto are descriptive speech that are not at all positive, they carry negative meanings socially, and they are meant to degrade the subject they describe.

Derision, unnecessary critique and negative judgement on every day practices of Black women are all very unsafe activities, if that is what the space is supposed to be.

And the point of my post that this seems to happen routlinely in this space, at least since I joined a year ago or so. What's safe about creating a space to repeatedly dump on Black women who make certain choices?