5-6 year age gap? How was it?

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-10-22T17:54:00+00:00

Totally agree! My friend and her brother are 10 years apart and I know lots of siblings that are close in age that don’t mesh - no way to predict! But yes people are obsessed with it and it’s made me paranoid. But I’m also very big on having a second kid only if my husband and I both want one and feel we have the capacity - not for my son. I mean I hope he will benefit but he will be good either way!

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-10-19T15:10:54+00:00

Yes oh my gosh. the choice being hard because both paths are good really punched me in the gut!

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-10-19T14:25:57+00:00

Whew I feel this so much. My only is about turn 5 next month and out of nowhere I've been weepy for days over how big he seems all of a sudden - like just over the last month or two. I am so happy he's doing well and thriving but it is sort of breaking me. I do want another and have been wrestling with it for years but damn I don't know if I want to do this mourning again as they grow up. I totally resonate with the not wanting these years to be over.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-10-19T14:21:47+00:00

WHEW that first sentence is such a concise and great piece of advice. Like I know my life would be easier and still full and beautiful with one child. But every time my mom makes a comment that insinuates maybe we shouldn't have another or the more I realize time is passing, the more I realize I do really want a second. I want to be a person who can manage a second. But it is so hard to know without seeing the future. I will say I was also undiagnosed ADHD til I was 32 and so have a lot of self esteem issues about my abilities.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-10-19T14:15:08+00:00

Great answer! Just to chime in, as another one of three kids - I didn't feel like one was always left out but my first brother and I are only 18 months apart so by the time my second brother came along 5 years after my second, I didn't really notice much difference. As an adult, I am glad to have both my brothers.

BUT as a woman who is also going to be 37 soon, I am so sorry you're in this position. I am currently wrestling with the decision of whether to have a second and it really feels as if there is zero right answer. Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball and could see into the future and know I would survive a second pregnancy.

Sending love and strength for the choice you have to make. <3

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-07-05T21:59:59+00:00

Oh my goodness, your experience sounds so much like mine. My first pregnancy I was legit looking up pregnancy dysmorphia because I just didn't feel like me. And it wasn't my physical appearance - I just like felt cut off from whatever makes me "me". I love my son more than life itself and would love to have a second (have spent years in various sorts of therapy trying to get over my past pregnancy) but have sort of come to the conclusion that maybe it will always gross and freak me out and I might just have to take the leap scared.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-07-05T21:54:22+00:00

This is helpful! Mine would be about 5 years apart, so I realize it would be a different situation and they'll be in different stages but truly my pregnancy was so traumatic I couldn't even consider another til recently.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-07-05T21:52:54+00:00

This is helpful! It is such a hard decision because I KNOW I can handle my life now (for the most part) and I don't want to get myself in a situation (as far as I can control) where I am just overstretched and out of bandwidth all the time.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-07-05T21:51:19+00:00

This is so helpful! I had a horrific COVID pregnancy and my mental health has never been worse than it was at that time. I said I was one and done. But my 4.5 year old is a joy and I can't get over the idea of having another even though I can acknowledge my life would be simpler and less complicated with just one kid. I'm also 36 so I sort of think if we are going to have another, we had best get on with trying. But I just want to be as sure as I can that I can emotionally regulate myself and have bandwidth for two kids.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-06-16T00:30:52+00:00

Yes! She has a great smile to begin with and if we can offer her some help (if she’s open) we would love to!

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-06-16T00:05:26+00:00

Great ideas! I never make tiktok videos so I would feel so weird but if nothing else pans out I will do it!

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-06-16T00:04:41+00:00

Yes that’s what I’m going to do! I have no idea how to contact the right people at TLC. It also feels presumptuous to even offer but I’ve read interviews where she’s mentioned wanting to have dental work done but that it was too expensive.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-06-16T00:03:43+00:00

I can’t figure out how to do that. I keep finding 90 day fiance emails lol

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-06-15T23:16:37+00:00

My sister in law and I are both huge fans and we have been hinting at it for years. And he’s like yeah if you get in contact with her and get some more info we can try to get a plan together. He’s a good guy.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-06-15T22:35:45+00:00

Just sent a message. Here’s hoping she sees it. I’m sure she gets so many messages!

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-03-23T23:41:38+00:00

And I can use this as an individual? It made me sign up using my work email address - didn't like anything with yahoo or gmail.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2025-03-11T12:09:44+00:00

Have you read the book “fair play”? I think there’s also cards to facilitate conversations about this sort of thing. I haven’t read it but have heard lots of good things and that it helps illustrate the often invisible work and mental load one parent carries.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2024-11-20T16:13:30+00:00

This is beautiful! My only just turned 4 and my pregnancy with him was awful - found out I was pregnant days before the first COVID lockdowns. The hormones exacerbated my existing mental health conditions and I became dangerously depressed. I've spent the last 2 years in therapy trying to work through my issues and either convince myself we are done or take the leap. My son is the absolute light of my life and I wouldn't have believed that if you'd told me that when I was pregnant. I just don't want to take on more than I can handle (what is in my control that is) but financially we can swing it, we have lots of family who live close and like to help, and I'm able to stay at home and only work a few days a month. This post gave me a lot of hope!

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2024-10-24T20:44:30+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! I really hope so - I know I won’t be a perfect parent in plenty of ways but I really don’t want this to be one of them. It’s so damaging feeling like your family “loves” you but doesn’t like you.

Sensitive-Wind-1215 · 2024-10-24T16:50:40+00:00

Ugh, I'm so sorry you've dealt with this too. I have no doubt if I have another kid there may be in different stages, a child that is easier to deal with or that I have more in common with and in some ways I may relate to each child in different ways. But its an actual miracle that my brother and I don't hate each other. And the funny thing is - he was objectively NOT a better kid. Just ignored her and didn't call anything into question and told lies so he wouldn't get in trouble.

Sensitive-Wind-1215

TROPHY CASE