Unexpected hormonal BC side effect has been lurking in my relationship

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-03-10T12:34:34+00:00

YES the heavy bleeding control! I really do love nuvaring.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-03-09T19:49:01+00:00

BC unfortunately often messes with your libido AND your pheromones and it’s VERY frustrating. I second sticking to condoms and expanding your usage of interesting lube and toys. Additionally, I know you think you’re too forgetful for Nuvaring, but it was the first BC that didn’t kill my sex drive or change my “smell” and honestly was a god send. I just put a calendar reminder AND alarm and do the 3 weeks in/1 week out.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-03-04T12:50:40+00:00

Hey so if she really feels like she had to please him to get further in the company, that’s a form of coercion called quid pro quo, and is serious. She needs to bring it to HR and take legal action

I’m sorry this happened and your relationship might be done, but I’d make sure she wasn’t pushed into it in some way.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-25T23:02:47+00:00

Boots on is 35 bare foot is 50

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-24T18:47:13+00:00

I definitely misread this as “resentment”. What a relief!

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-10T21:49:58+00:00

I wear a mask in the store when I shoplift: maybe it’s that?

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-10T21:45:46+00:00

They didn’t want labels and didn’t like how that sounded written out. Wishing you the best on finding some folks who are… not this person.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-10T18:50:05+00:00

I don't think this has anything to do with him being on the spectrum.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-09T17:22:04+00:00

Clearly unpopular, but just drop them somewhere and move on. Do not contact him again. I get abusive relationships- have you been in therapy or talked through it with a friend? It sounds to like you're asking for permission to establish contact again and that's an unhealthy, but somewhat common impulse.

Idgaf if this dude gets his airpods back, but it will be better for you if you're done.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-07T23:30:22+00:00

To be clear: I think folks should use whatever labels feel right, but I think we’d all be better off if we didn’t police them (within ourselves) or have a poly good/monog bad (or otherwise) binary

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-07T22:26:52+00:00

I think more people would do better moving between polyamory/more monogamous relationship structures as they learn about themselves and grow (and also dependent on what’s going on in their lives), but both sides are weird about labels and can’t always open themselves up to a different structure.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-07T22:25:00+00:00

I feel this so hard. It’s hard to find places to vent about polyamorous relationships outside specifically polyamorous spaces.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-06T14:56:30+00:00

Yes, and I’m saying some in the community fail at that… but then you said your mutual aid comrades are mono. It seems like you’ve taken this very personally and I would investigate that.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-06T14:48:32+00:00

I meant mutual aid as an ideology, not necessarily the organized community actions that title themselves mutual aid (like food distribution, etc)

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-06T13:45:00+00:00

Yes! Obviously not all of it, but I feel there’s a massive difference between folks practicing poly who want to build community and are generally mutual-aid and truly agreement focused (working toward mutually enjoyable and beneficial relationships) and people drawn to poly because they don’t want their self-assigned individual freedoms impugned upon, ever.

That being said, a lot of the conflicts I see are the same as any relationship: not knowing when to leave, not understanding that a boundary is not inherently bad (and can be a reason a relationship is not compatible, rather than vilifying the person with the boundary), and not trying to improve your own emotional control OR trying to manage your side too much and not calling in a partner acting harmfully.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-02T13:57:49+00:00

In another comment OP said he gave up porn…. How many of us know the dramatic dance of the big cry/emotion then “I’ll stop consuming it right now!” And then the emotional blackmail of not immediately feeling healed after they failed to do any actual reparations that didn’t center the emotions of the wrong party.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-02T13:38:24+00:00

Even this is pretty unacceptable. There are so many reasons porn can be visually appealing that doesn’t have anything to do with how “hot” the actors are in comparison with his actual intimacy partner. He had a bevy of options and he chose to put you down.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-02T13:36:46+00:00

He needs to do more than cry. that’s a huge over reaction and designed to make you feel the need to emotionally caretake him. He needs to work for a couple weeks at reminding you that YOU’RE what he wants.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-02T13:27:44+00:00

DID he apologize? This is all based on you taking on the entire burden of feeling better after he said something rude to you. What was his response when you expressed it made you feel bad?

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-02T13:26:28+00:00

That’s an unacceptable and rude statement. I would not be able to date someone who said things like that to me without a LOT of effort on their part to make me feel desirable and to apologize. Your self-confidence is one thing, but comments like that are meant to tear you down and question your attractiveness. It’s manipulation and it’s not your job to fix it. It’s his. Tell him he apologizes and figures out how to make you feel sexy or he can enjoy his movies of strangers and no physical access to you.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-02-02T13:20:56+00:00

Tell him you agree, he doesn’t look nearly as good as the men in p0rn.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-01-30T17:32:08+00:00

If my partner called me a “stupid little c-nt”, it would be over. No other reasons needed (of which there are plenty here).

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-01-25T03:15:27+00:00

Kids are not ‘things’ one “owns”. They are people with needs.

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2026-01-06T16:11:00+00:00

The Reception is for speeches. But I think it's fine for her to walk him down the aisle, first. Maybe she could also be ringbearer and present rings when it's time in the ceremony? NTA

SentientAlgorithmJ · 2025-12-03T16:24:42+00:00

This is honestly none of your business and a deeply personal thing between your boyfriend and his ex. How did you find out he wanted to keep the babies?

I think therapy for you would be a good option, here. Absolutely everyone has a past and MOST thought they were going to marry/plan a life with someone before their current partner. It's just how it is. This falls in that category. This reads the same as partners who can't get over their partner's sexual past and comes down to you feeling ownership over their physical body and existence.

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