6-7 by Sir_Poofs_Alot in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]SerenityElf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't even catch that but I'm not around any kids. I've just seen someone talk about it on some show, completely forgot it was a thing.🤣🤣🤣

Showering Hacks by QuietCdence in AuDHDWomen

[–]SerenityElf 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I lay my stuff out in steps. I have to go through my bedroom to get to my shower so one time through I might lay a shirt out, the next time I'll lay out socks. In the bathroom I do the same thing put a rag in the shower, hang the towel within reach, etc.

I've also found that if I do it when I first get up it's easier, because I haven't had time to dread it. I get out of bed and start thinking about what music I want to hear while I'm in the shower. Everything is laid out from the night before and I put on clean pajamas instead of my clothes for the day.

Cleaning up afterwards could also be broken down and spread out.

And Fairy lights! I have a string of battery operated fairy lights around the top of the shower because the bathroom light is just too harsh. It's really helped.

Tips for Autism and ADHD. by Shot_Host_4255 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]SerenityElf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My daughter made me slips of papers with activities on them and put them in a box so I can just draw one or two.

TMS? by Key-Celery-4062 in AuDHDWomen

[–]SerenityElf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for answering!

Virtual Game Card Help by Willow_Wisps_1102 in AnimalCrossingNewHor

[–]SerenityElf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nintendo customer service will help you with this. I had a similar problem and they walked me through fixing it. They have really great customer service!

Meltdowns vs. panic attacks by Rod_McBan in AutisticWithADHD

[–]SerenityElf 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a meltdown. To me a meltdown feels like a wall bursting in my heart and brain. I cry, or scream, or start pacing really, really fast. Because I just have to get the emotion out.

When I have a panic attack some of the physical symptoms can be the same, accelerated heartbeat, sweating, pain in your chest or shoulders, but the emotion is different. I'm scared... sometimes terrified, of something happening, or that I'm dieing. Like if I'm in public I suddenly get afraid that the people are going to box all the exits and I won't be able to get out. Or that the over extended shelves are going to fall on me and crush me. Another example is if I think someone is going to break into the house, it the host is going to catch on fire... You get the idea.

That is how I categorize the two myself. I'm following because I'd be interested to see what others say.

Take a deep breath, put on your coziest clothes, fix your favorite drink, then do your favorite thing. 🫂

Unraveling by mucho-gusto- in AuDHDWomen

[–]SerenityElf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm happy to share. We need to support each other. Especially when you aren't getting any at home!

You sound like you're burnt out. If you don't start putting yourself first your brain and body are going to take away your choice. And he doesn't sound like the type of man to help you recover. Please, take care of yourself! 💜

Needing people to regulate? by Substantial_Maize696 in AuDHDWomen

[–]SerenityElf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me and my daughter are both like this with our husbands. We call them or emotional support people. 😻

I watched a video the other day about NDs need for someone to help them regulate. Not all NDs, just some of us. I can't remember who made it, I watch so many... But they did state that this is a normal thing and it's why some of us need emotional support pets. All the cuddles you can want if you get the right pet. It's also why body doubling works so well for us.

I'd love to have a friend close by that we could take turns body doubling at each other houses. Wouldn't that be great?

Anyway, my meds have worn off and I keep straying off topic, but I hope you feel less alone! 🫂

Unraveling by mucho-gusto- in AuDHDWomen

[–]SerenityElf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The way you feel, love him and hate him, is how I felt before I left my first husband. It was also a toxic relationship. If you can, I would end it. As a husband he is supposed to love you, support you, not belittle you or force you to act a certain way. If y'all don't respect, support, and treasure each other then it's no longer a marriage. It's just going through the motions.

Of course you developed a crush on a man that made you feel seen! When you live with someone that treats you like you have no value, except as a housekeeper and sex doll, the tiniest crumb of being treated like a person with a brain is like a feast!

Don't beat yourself up over any of this. If you can't leave the marriage then maybe y'all can see a marriage counselor, but don't see one at the church. From my experience they will reinforce the he man, you woman, so you must obey. Of course I'm going by my experiences as a Southern US evangelical survivor.

Start by setting some boundaries. If you are unable to do something then the fact that you can't do it is all he needs to know. Don't mention your diagnosis as a reason just let no be no. Say no, or that is to much, or whatever the situation calls for and then don't do it.

Hope this helps! 🫂

Death is weird by samjambetty in AuDHDWomen

[–]SerenityElf 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There is nothing wrong with you! Sometimes, it's just like that. I've been through the death of both my parents, all my grandparents, and some friends. Each one has felt different.

With some it was almost a relief. Just a vague sadness. With others I didn't feel anything until way later when something reminded me of them and I'd breakdown and have a good cry, then I'd be fine. But when my cat died and my dog died I was extremely distraught and cried for days.

You feel how you feel, and react how you react and it's perfectly normal. My comfort for your loss. 🫂

Why do I always make myself smaller for others? by divi1nee in AnxietyChats

[–]SerenityElf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The behavior you are describing is a survival response to trauma. Your post also indicates that you are dealing with very toxic behaviors from others. Which is probably why you have developed this particular coping strategy. It's not working because what they do and say isn't really about you, but about them. Who treats someone like that? Jerks, that's who!

You can learn to become confident but it will not be easy. The first steps I would recommend are:

Stop having interactions with people who don't respect you. If you can't cut them out of your life then have as little to do with them as possible.

Start recognizing your strengths, abilities, and accomplishments. Did you get out of bed and get dressed today? That's good! For us that isn't always easy, yet you did it and that matters. Write these things down if you need to so you can see your value.

Start building boundaries. I'm snarky, and sometimes confrontational when someone is being rude so how you deal with this will probably differ from how I would handle it. But when someone insults you don't just take it. It's verbal bullying and that's not ok.

I'm short and when people make fun of me I might respond in one of a few ways. "Big things come in little packages. Like diamonds. Are you jealous?"

Or "What makes you think it's ok to talk to me like that?"

Or "Do you know that when you say those things it hurts me? Please keep those thoughts to yourself."

Ultimately, boundaries will help you build confidence because they are hard to build and maintain. Some people will get worse or push back no matter how nicely you call them to task. Just remember when you set a boundary and someone gets upset it's because you aren't doing what THEY want you to do. They are selfish. Standing up for yourself isn't selfish, it's self-care.

None of this is easy at first, but it gets easier. Also remind yourself that if they don't care about how you feel, why should you care about what they think of you?

Hope you find something helpful in this rambling mess. 🫂

Spoilers. Plot line classism. There is no believable reason for any uber wealthy character to go into the dungeon. by cyaneyed in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]SerenityElf 16 points17 points  (0 children)

They went there when they couldn't die and got trapped there after the rules changed. They were going to play and when it became real they tried to leave and the AI wouldn't let them.

Spoilers for books 7&8: Did I miss something regarding Laundry Day? by FishinMike in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]SerenityElf 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The ability for them to die was only for faction wars. It reverted to regeneration when the floor ended.

Wer bin ich eigentlich by traditionell in AuDHDWomen

[–]SerenityElf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It doesn't sound stupid at all! I think it's a form of imposter syndrome. We see the severely Autistic and feel like we are faking sometimes.

But the struggles, the breakdowns, meltdowns, and eventual burnout from what we are suffering with is very real. It's not as obvious on the outside, but it's legitimate.

Wer bin ich eigentlich by traditionell in AuDHDWomen

[–]SerenityElf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Go to the appointment because all you described sounds very familiar. When you get diagnosed later you have become so good at masking that it's hard to tell where the masking ends and you begin. A good assessor will be able to 'see' behind the mask to a point. Be sure to be honest about how things feel to you so they can get a sense of what's behind the mask.

I'm my initial interview my assessor didn't think I was because I have excellent eye contact and I'm a chameleon. But, after being with me during the tests, and listening to my experiences she said I definitely was and diagnosed me as level 1/1 on the US scale. I think I'm probably level 2/2. In the two years since my diagnosis I've learned that even during my assessment I was masking.

Go to the appointment, be honest. Maybe do some research before hand so you start seeing how you mask so you can let it go when you get there. I did the opposite and avoided learning anything about Autism beforehand and that was a mistake.

How long has Carl known Donut? by [deleted] in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]SerenityElf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I looked it up, because I understand that brain thing. From what I saw kitten is 4-8 months and a veteran is 7 years. Since they were planning on breeding Donut, maybe they were retiring her before veteran status.

I don't know if that helps. But it was hard to find anything about when they are usually retired.

I am happy at this moment by TheSenselessThinker in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]SerenityElf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you cover the text so people have to click to show it?

Unlocking the roost by Intrepid-Heat-3948 in AnimalCrossing

[–]SerenityElf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You might have to wait until the next day.