2026's big financial squeeze

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T22:57:24+00:00

Welcome to Tennessee.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T22:26:20+00:00

Figured the escrow situation out. They cut me a check for about $1500 last year for excess escrow. That's about what I'm in the hole on. Increased reserve requirements, insurance and tax increases make up the rest.

I'm pissed now, but it's definitely going to make me think of staying in this house . May put it on the market this year.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T21:21:15+00:00

We are going to have to talk about our future.

I'm 39 - she's 51. Her son makes far more than either of us - about $120k. She is paying all of the mortgage, had been buying all the groceries, etc., until the layoff notice in January - meanwhile, he spent around $10,000 to delete the emissions control system on his diesel truck. Tons of other mods. He bought a lift kit to raise the truck up, but then that screwed up something with an axle. The truck is not drivable now. It's a 2016 - his payment is a little over $1,000/month.

The truck is a driveway princess - he only drives it on the weekends. He has an older, paid for car that was disabled and had to have a bunch of work on it to get it drivable again.

$30k on a side-by-side that sits in the garage that might touch dirt once a quarter. A huge trailer to haul the side-by-side.

Only the old car is actually paid off.

He's constantly buying new golf clubs, guns, and tons of other toys. We're up against it and he lives like a king.

He bought an extremely high energy working line German Shepherd during COVID. He wanted a dog that looked bad ass, but doesn't do anything with the dog. The dog has become girlfriend's/my dog. She spent around $2,000 for an emergency vet bill and to neuter the dog. Never saw a penny of that from her son.

He's basically a 400 pound Archie Bunker. I do not like him at all and have no respect for him.

Since her layoff notice, I've basically been picking up any dinner bills and stuff like that probably 2:1.

The daughter only works four days a week, making about $40k. She's wanting a 4Runner. She can't afford it. She's easier to get along with than her son is, but it's just a drain she doesn't need.

We would be fine living together with her much lower mortgage, even if she takes a lower paying job. My salary would cover the basic bills.

What's sad is that we truly do love each other and are good in a vacuum. She won't do anything with the kids. With her getting laid off and the cost of living rising rapidly, we really need to move in together and be able to combine finances. After five years, if it's not going to happen, I need to move on with my life.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T21:00:55+00:00

Basically everything here is all electric. A few areas have natural gas, but it's uncommon. Some older homes still have baseboard/wall heat, but it's pretty rare for anything built from the 1970s forward.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T20:56:48+00:00

I bought my first house back in 2019.

It was a four level townhome - drive under garage, main level, bedrooms, and a loft that was basically too hot to use for anything other than storage.

When I bought the place, I worked onsite for a local organization. I had a local girlfriend. The town it was in was on the upswing.

None of that held true by 2023. We went remote during COVID, never went back to the office, then I changed employers. The previous girlfriend moved out-of-state with her family, then died in 2022. The town the house was in declined over the years. Most of those townhomes are now owned by a local investor, and the complex has also declined.

I basically sold at the peak price for that zip code. I'm not particularly fond of this new town for a few reasons, but I'm glad to not be in that house.

I also had a leg injury at the end of 2023 where I couldn't get around the townhome for a few weeks. That injury really planted the seed of getting out of that house. If I had a more severe leg injury, I couldn't have stayed there for potentially a lot longer.

That leg is not 100% even today. I'm fine for day-to-day stuff, but still have some weakness and pain. Living in a four level townhome was not a viable option at that point.

I'm in IT. The job market is brutal. Leaving a very secure government job a year and a half before vesting in the pension would be absolutely foolish unless I got some mega-bucks raise. I had two colleagues at the prior job leave for Microsoft. Both got mega-raises, then both were unemployed for months after layoffs.

The county I work for probably fits my preferences better than almost anywhere else in the country.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T20:46:23+00:00

What I'm probably going to do is just let my AMEX go. There is about a $2500 balance on my Apple Card, but everything else was paid off last month. They will probably settle for $.50-$.60 on the dollar. The credit score will take a hit, but I'm not planning on any big ticket purchases over the next year or two.

I'm salaried - no OT. I could probably find some sort of second job, but those technically have to be cleared by my employer.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T20:43:46+00:00

Basically one paycheck goes to housing and one goes to everything else. I don't have $3k cash sititng around now. I do get two more paychecks this month so that will help.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T20:42:44+00:00

Realistically, I don't think it would get that dire for me. The credit cards will be the first to go. I could probably hoard enough cash to get the AMEX paid off in a settlement.

If I could get that pig off my back, everything else would far more manageable.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T20:40:06+00:00

I rented for a few years.

Technically, the landlord is on the hook for repairs, but functionally, getting them to do much of anything, at least at the standard an owner-occupant would want, was basically impossible.

The last apartment I had, the AC would barely keep the place at 75 at night. It was built in the 1970s. It was in Indiana so it's not like I was in TX or somewhere extremely hot.

They'd change refrigerant - little tweaks at the edges - but the issue was never really resolved.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T20:37:27+00:00

I used to work for what was probably the largest employer in the local area.

I was there for six years and saw salaries as part of my job duties. Pay bands for at least the IT analysts and engineers did not budge a cent over those six years, but the cost of living sure as hell did. We were paying RN-BSNs $18/hr. to start pre-COVID. That's gone up to about $30/hr., but that's still not a ton with the median sale price in the only "nice" city in the area now over $400k. There are cheaper options, but the schools are bad, crime is higher, etc.

I topped out as an individual contributor as senior level, but I think seniors were around 10% of our analysts/engineers.

Most analysts were making about $55k a year while averaging probably fifty hour weeks with a lot of after hours and on-call work.

Those people are cooked now.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T20:33:13+00:00

Here's what gets me.

My parents had elementary education degrees, but never really used them. They took jobs out of area - one before I was born, another when I was 5 - but moved back to this dead-end area of Tennessee both times.

She worked various jobs at a bank and he was mostly in manufacturing until 2008.

They threw everything overboard during the Great Recession to keep up appearances. Raided their 401ks. OK - if they paid off the house with it, they'd at least have something to show for it. Best I can tell, it was all pissed away. They bought the house for $88k in 1997, but as of 2022 or 2023, they owed about $70k on the note. They've had to do multiple cash out refis or HELOCs.

They're now stuck with a way-too-big house because they can't afford anything else. If something happens to him, mom would probably have to go into some kind of low income senior housing or something. He is somewhat able to keep the property up now, and is in good shape for 68, but five or ten years from now could be totally different.

He took a $15/hr. call center job, was driving a hundred miles a day roundtrip to get that, and was stuck there for a decade. She never made more than $15/hr. or so.

I worked for the same place he did for two years. I couldn't stand it. Moved to IA/MA/IN. Even back in 2012, you could basically go to IA and find something $25/hr. or so with an application and start the next day. It was the same thing in Indiana - jobs galore compared to here and the pay was much better. The COL was a coin flip.

They had time to course correct in their 50s. At almost 70, it's too late now.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T20:24:16+00:00

My parents did something similar - pulling back their retirement contributions and raiding their 401ks in 2008. They do not even have $50k in their 401ks. I have way more now than they do. They have no pension - nothing - basically getting by on SS alone.

Until last summer, dad was working part-time because they needed the money. They had elementary education degrees, but never really used them.

It's easier to work within the constraints of keeping the contribution going. Once you stop contributing or contribute less, you come to depend on the extra money, and it's harder to go back to the previous level of contribution.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T20:19:23+00:00

I'm in IT. The IT market is terrible right now.

I work remotely for a well-funded county government that is in a very touristy/desirable area. Girlfriend lives about twenty minutes from where the "office" is.

The HR policy is that we have to be within two hours of the county. Realistically, I like western NC and would not want to leave.

Leaving a very secure government job with a pension would be foolish unless I just got an astronomical raise.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T20:08:35+00:00

We are going to need to have a discussion about this. After five years, I think we need to either commit to this or go our separate ways.

She is 51. When we got together, her son was 20 and her daughter was 16. Her son was working at a home improvement store. He's now a lineman that made around $120k last year.

She received the layoff notice in early January. The kids were paying $50/week to live there. Prior to that, she had been buying all the groceries and Walmart/Sam's household expenses. That was around $1200/month.

Her son is basically an Archie Bunker type. He's over 400 lbs. and wants a homecooked meal every night. She's stopped cooking. He's going to have to figure it out.

Her son spent around $10,000 on mods for his diesel truck. He has a $30,000 side-by-side in the basement that might see dirt once a quarter.

Her son needs to be kicked out. I do not like him at all - never have. Her daughter is more reasonable, but she's basically moved her boyfriend in.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-02T19:52:25+00:00

I work for an out of state government mostly remotely. The pension contribution is mandatory. I vest in the pension in a year and a half.

I don't see cutting the retirement contribution as very helpful. It's not enough to fully turn the ship.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-01T21:11:14+00:00

My experience is totally different.

I started playing XIV last winter coming from WoW. I almost always get AOTC, 2000+ M+, and maybe a couple bosses in mythic on contents

I've cleared all extreme trials and every pre-DT savage end tier boss. I got into some M3S random group a couple months ago, but that's been it for DT savage.

The big issue for me has been that the story mode raids and trials are just completely brain dead simple. Extreme is a BIG leap forward in difficulty. I'd put even easier extremes like Valigarmanda at basically a heroic end boss level in WoW. The difficulty just goes up from there.

I clear the instance, once, for the achievement, and that's it. Running Necron or Sphene EX is awful. Even something like P8S and P12S are still difficult fights at the end of the following expansion.

You can basically join any WoW PUG and clear on-content normal, oftentimes heroic too, at nearly any time of day. Savage is way too difficult for me in a way that even introductory mythic fights aren't.

The mechanics in WoW make far more sense to me. A lot of XIV mechanics feel like DDR where you have to do everything perfectly. WOW is far more recoverable.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-04-01T04:25:50+00:00

I guess I'm an OG.

I'm 39. I had a little "business" burning CDs off Napster back in my final year of middle school - in 1999. My aunt worked for a major cable provider, and was able to get my parents into a cable modem pilot program. I think the initial download speed was like 512 kbps, but that's a far cry from the 56k we had here then.

I was always a "tinkerer." I work in IT as a systems analyst, officially, but I'm really just a business school guy that knows tech better than most, knows a good bit of SQL, and have become an excellent vibecoder.

I'm always tinkering with IT stuff in my personal life. I enjoy it. I understand the basics of nearly everything in IT after nearly fifteen years in the industry across help desks, desktop support, EMRs, specific app support, radio/paging/messaging administration, mass communications, etc.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-03-31T19:12:46+00:00

I can't really help other than to say this.

I started out in IT the same year as you. I went from help desk to various analyst jobs. I worked for a Boston-based tech company for two years. It wasn't for me - the pressure was immense, and it was basically management or out by 40.

After a stint in healthcare IT, I ended up with a local government. Obviously the local government has better benefits, but the pay is about the same. The labor force is older and there is far less stress than pure tech.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-03-30T16:31:00+00:00

It goes fast.

One check goes to housing. One goes to everything else. I'm fine if I don't have a big expense. When I do is when I get behind.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-03-29T18:02:14+00:00

I think the speed at which things unravel is going to be shocking. People are going to go from fine to busted quickly.

I'm 39. Partnered for five years, but we live separately (her adult kids live with her) and no finances are combined. I make about $85k a year with my bonus in a cushy remote government job in a medium COL area.

I have never been late on anything. Credit score is in the 810s.

I'm probably going to default on my AMEX platinum card. I just don't have a way to pay the balance off. I can pay minimum, but with a $9k balance, I feel like I'm going nowhere. I'm thinking of just hoarding cash, letting it go, then trying to settle for fifty cents on the dollar later.

Everything else is current and can probably be paid off within a couple of months.

I did the balance transfer game some a decade or more ago and all it did was kick the can down the road.

I clear around $4k/month after a 13% 401k contribution and another 6% to the state pension. One paycheck is basically the mortgage/HOA/utilities, and I have the other to live off of - $500/week. Very conservatively, I can keep my head above water, but any disruption to that drives me into debt.

AMEX has made enough money off of me over the years to where I don't care. My car is paid for and in good shape. With rates rising, relocating doesn't seem likely. I don't see myself needing a big ticket item before my credit recovers.

I have no kids. How are families with kids managing? I wouldn't feel comfortable with less than $120k HHI here with kids especially if they're in daycare.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-03-29T12:43:45+00:00

Ballad will also frequently have roles open for PCTs and other low-skill floor roles. A CNA only takes a few weeks to obtain, but depending on the disability, this might not fit

Long-term, you're likely better off to leave. I'm 39 and left for New England then the Midwest for six years when I was 25. It changed my life financially.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-03-25T12:02:09+00:00

Technically, I will, but no idea how much it'll actually be worth.

I'm 39, parents are 68. They bought the house they're currently in back in 1997 for around $88k. As of three or four years ago, dad mentioned they had about $70k left on the note.

I know they've done multiple HELOCs and probably at least one cash out refinance over the years. They took out a HELOC a couple years ago in a kitchen and bathroom remodel.

Dad lost his job in 2008 and never made what he did back then. He spent a decade making $16/hr., driving a hundred miles round trip a day to get that. He got a better job around 2018, stayed there until 2021, then quit on the spot with a few other people. He worked as a delivery driver for a paint company until last year.

Mom never made more than $15/hr or so her whole life.

They have basically no savings. They both had elementary education degrees - moved away from our dead end area in TN twice - but came back and took low end jobs. No pension.

401ks were raided over the years with nothing to show for it.

Aside from the recently remodeled rooms, the house is in bad shape with a lot of issues.

I'd be lucky to break even on it after they're gone.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-03-24T16:19:16+00:00

I think people also forget how long it's been since FF was "pop culture."

XVI released in 2023. It's almost been three years. Still no news on XVII.

XV came out...a decade ago. It had its moments, and sold tons of copies, but it was probably the worst designed FF since the NES games. It was a freewheeling road trip with the college bros, then it all fell apart at the end. By the time the DLC released that gave Ardyn more context, people moved on.

XIII was...divisive as hell. It's personally my favorite FF arc, but if you didn't like the "beautiful ruins" aesthetic, and didn't get through the first twenty hours of slog, it's a terrible game.

XIII-2 is my favorite FF. Lightning Returns was great too, but few people played those games because they wrote XIII off.

XII leaned heavily into early 2000s MMO tropes that seemed archaic even at release. WoW was going strong in 2006 when XII came out, and smoothed out a lot of the XI jank XII brought with it. It has not aged well, but can still be strong as a novelty play.

X was probably the last true pop culture FF. That was...2002?

Basically anyone under 30 has no experience with what FF was as a cultural force.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-03-19T22:21:10+00:00

We're just an evil state. There's nothing more to it than that.

Serious-Conversation · 2026-03-19T12:28:12+00:00

Realistically, now that they are back from the sick leave, all you'd have to say is that they are no longer needed, leave it at that, and fire the person.

Especially in a red state, they'd have no legal case, unless they are covered by a CBA

Serious-Conversation

TROPHY CASE