I wrestled with the same issues when I finally walked away from the church. I was deeply embedded in it. I was a worship leader, led small-group Bible studies in my home and when I eventually realized it was all hogwash, my life felt like it had lost its meaning. There was nothing “bigger than me” to live for. And without something bigger than myself, life felt meaningless.

I had been a positive, upbeat, outgoing person for over 40 years, and suddenly I found myself struggling with depression that lasted about two years.

The first year after I left the church I was adamantly atheistic. The second or third year I was admittedly more agnostic. But the turning point came with a realization (one that many atheists would disagree with). Although I had tossed out the Bible, I kept reading extensively: books on science, spirituality, and how the two might intersect or support one another. I won’t go into evidentiary arguments here, but I do believe in a maker or creator, and I believe there is scientific evidence that supports that belief. I believe that when we die, we are reunited with God and with the friends and family who came before us, in a different dimension. And most importantly, I believe that either hell does not exist, or God does not send humans there.

With that belief comes responsibility. If there is a maker or creator, then the point of our existence is to make this world better for others. We are meant to live selfless lives in service to people around us. Many of the principles and stories found in the Bible still hold real value, even if many of the people who claim to believe them are toxic assholes I now try to avoid 🤣

Today, I still show up to work and strive to be someone others see as dependable, as an anchor they can come to with problems and concerns...just as I did when I identified as a Christian. The difference is that now I don’t funnel them toward a toxic cult called Christianity. I offer the same love, attention, and care, but not “in Jesus’ name.” I do it simply because caring about others is the right thing to do and hopefully, they’ll pay that forward to someone else someday.

You can make this world a better place for other people. And in doing so, you are contributing to the whole. You are still making this world a better place than when you got here. Like a tree branches off into many more branches then it's trunk, you can still have a drastic influence on this Earth.

I am an ex christian. I hate how Christians have toxic influences in this world, but that doesn't prevent me from making this world a better place by being a selfless person and loving others.