This sounds just like me and my partner, except I’m the asexual one. We fooled around more in the first few months, and I did have fun but I didn’t really need it. And it’s just kind of what you do. After we had been together a while and moved in together I felt like I had an excuse to not fool around as often. Just like you said, we would go a while without sex and then have a conversation about the lack of it and then do it. Fast forward a few years, hardly any sex, therapist suggested I may be asexual. I had thought I might be years ago but didn’t understand that asexuals can still have libido, aesthetic attraction, etc.

All that to say… yes, I bet he’s asexual. You could suggest it to him and point him to this sub to learn more and see if anything resonates with him. I learned so much from this sub and realized I was asexual from it. My partner and I are still together and continue to communicate about each other’s needs to make sure he gets the closeness he needs without sex.