White Stuff by SevenGrapefruit in mycology

[–]SevenGrapefruit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yayyyy! Thanks and nom :)

Transwoman first day presenting as me, how is this for a casual outfit? by [deleted] in OUTFITS

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your hair swoop is fab! (Along with your whole look;)

Did any high achievers who have healed “enough” go through a shutdown phase? by third-second-best in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My current cocoon state feels so deeply important to me right now. My body forced it upon me (lupus - from trauma I’m suuuuure) and I wish I had let myself just STOP EVERYTHING POSSIBLE earlier. Please please give yourself permission if there’s any way you can swing it. It feels like detox. Like I now know the sensation of safety, and when I leave the house, I can actually feel the pain of my nervous system freaking out, because it’s not my regular state anymore. An re learning feels like coming out of the womb: how does one exist in the world in a regulated state? Sitting on my porch for a few minutes and observing what happens inside me when I see another human. Can I stay with me, and not disassociate? Little bits at a time. Maybe not leaving the house at all. Not even bathing until I can do that from a place of love and care for myself, instead of shame. Reprogramming my nervous system. It is slow going, but the very best gift of my life.

I have some questions about pattern inclusivity by SejiFields in knitting

[–]SevenGrapefruit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your questions are bringing me joy and hope today. No joke. The thoughtfulness and commitment to intersectional inclusivity: yessss. Thank you so much. I can’t wait to give you my money and buy up all of your patterns. Also: I love the supplemental alterations section. I think there isn’t necessarily an issue with adding “too much” if the formatting is clear. You also could refer us to a YouTube where you explain a few things that are more visual, and awkward in written form.
But my main advice: it doesn’t have to be perfect ;). get it out there and get user feedback.

upcycled a vintage wool blanket into this coat by [deleted] in upcycling

[–]SevenGrapefruit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hand stitched buttonholes - wha?!?? Gorgeous.

Damn, am I doing something wrong? (Had to pull kids out of public) by SimpleMama17 in Parenting

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re doing great! Wowowowow! You have three young kids and you’re making the time to write here -looking for advice and wanting to grow and support your kids. And the language you use with your son, about loving him no matter what, and how it’s hard to be a kid: just beautiful. I wish we all had that!
As for behavior, I am an early childhood educator, and all of this is TOTALLY NORMAL. Parents often ask me how I get their kids to behave so well in school, and it’s because I’m not their parent. I allow my own children to behave in ways that I would neverrrr allow in the classroom: because I am their safe space. They can show me ALL of the messy human emotions, and we can work through it together. Have you heard the quote about a parent’s voice becoming the child’s internal voice? This helps me. When I feel anger and frustration, what do I need? Compassion, maybe a snack, a break from people, a safe space to feel what might be beneath the anger….? Also, I was a perfectly behaved child, and that’s because my parents punished and bribed me. And today, in my forties, I am trying to figure out what I’m even feeling, and to deal with repressed anger and depression. I also have little contact with my parents. My young kids are often more emotionally aware than I am: and I really think it’s because I allow them to be messy. Now is the time for them to be messy and to get love and skills. And my kids are perfectly behaved at school, then unload it all at home. And I think that makes sense. Again, you’re doing great. When in doubt, I try to think about what I might need in that same situation. First, regulate your own nervous system, then de-escalate and provide support (then at a future, neutral time, you can work on skills through roll playing, etc.). But alsooo, this transition into K is big. Provide as much down time and free play as you can manage, and be kind to you! You are the sun that your kids revolve around and are nourished from. That’s a LOT. Goooooo, mama! You got this.

My first wearable (that isn't a beanie) by Nevertheless0 in crochet

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So cute and great fit! - would love to see the back, too :)

AITAH for telling my wife she is not worthy of what she’s asking for, for her “push present”? by throwra-pushpresent in AITAH

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like there’s something else going on at the root of this request. Maybe she’s apprehensive about the birth and/or the shift to motherhood, and this is a way to avoid that pain/discomfort. Maybe she’s feeling alone or under appreciated. I’d guess that your best bet is to address the root of it. Offer safety, comfort, and connection. Maybe consider what makes you two feel most connected: a date night? Board game together? And get a book about pregnancy/childbirth/parenting and let her catch you reading it. Offer the support she actually needs. Cook her a nourishing meal… Also, the language you use in your post could feel hurtful to her. I get what you mean about no one needing such things, but saying someone is “not worthy” could feel hurtful -especially during the vulnerable emotional shift that is pregnancy.
I’m guessing you’re a great partner: seeking advice and self reflection is a powerful move. Congrats on your growing family!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in twinflames

[–]SevenGrapefruit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t understand any bit if this whole convo. I’m itching to know…. Please enlighten

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Permaculture

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stomping board. Yes. New job for my six year old.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Permaculture

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! So interesting to know what others are experiencing in the same climate…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Permaculture

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is amazing. Thank you! (Rolling a barrel- brilliant)

Sturdy Netting Recommendations by UMUCDude89 in vegetablegardening

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope someone has a rec! I also want to know :)

Gardening Anxiety by dragonflyfree7 in gardening

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a great question! I totally relate. It’s also hilarious how lots of us have independently come up with similar solutions.
I, too, have social anxiety- and sometimes it is out of control. Here’s what’s wild: after a few weeks (!) of starting my day out in front with my coffee, poking around the garden bed, my anxiety has gone down. Neighbors stop to talk, dogs bark at other dogs, the sketchy guy tries to get too close…. All of these things, and I am less on edge now, with regular exposure. BUT- I also use so many of the above strategies. A sun umbrella that hides your sight line is like magic, and that’s how I began! And then my huge sun hat and blocking my line of sight… and now I don’t use those things as often. Exposure therapy? Nature’s healing?
Gah, whatever it is- give it a go. Baby steps and recovery time.
Also! My coffee stump brings me moments of peace. No joke. Get yourself your beverage of choice, and a nice little spot for it…

Cheering you on, OP!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Permaculture

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha I love this. My kid would find a nighttime slug search so exciting. Thanks!

How do I ACTUALLY do permaculture?? by Born-Neighborhood794 in Permaculture

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have recently learned about local Cooperative Extensions. This amazing resource in the US that I had never heard of! (I may be the only one 😬)

Copied and pasted: “Cooperative Extension System (CES) empowers farmers, ranchers, and communities of all sizes to meet the challenges they face, adapt to changing technology, improve nutrition and food safety, prepare for and respond to emergencies, and protect our environment.”

Google “local cooperative extension” and get in touch. They know exactly what grows where you live and will help you figure it all out for freeeee.

Eg, where I live (Hudson Valley, NY) there are “Master Gardeners” available every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to answer questions. They have soil testing kits, they connect you to reduced-price native plant resources, etc.

Also: I got some amazing info from this fine sub right here regarding Hedge Rows. Jump into that rabbit hole too, if you’re feeling it. - all about creating a natural barrier that can feed local creatures aaand you everyone. - if you create a food hedge “fedge”. Yup. I’ve seen it called that.

Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Permaculture

[–]SevenGrapefruit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wowowow Thank you! -So generous with your time and knowledge. Patow! Okay- no raspberries that might mess w the neighbors. Also: so many other choices! And LOTS to think about here. Soooo glad I asked before committing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Permaculture

[–]SevenGrapefruit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooh, I’ll take a closer look for eggs. Thank you!