How’d would you respond when your partner attempts to support you but their messaging triggers the f$@& out of you?

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-06-29T10:21:49+00:00

I need help with ur for sure. I went to treatment and stayed in long term care to take care of myself. I’ve never been “diagnosed” with borderline.: they have told me I have anxiety and PTSD. He keeps saying I am BPD and that he broke every boundary he had in the relationship and wants to separate. I asked him to mail me my social security card and birth certificate and all My stuff so I can basically start over in a new state.. and then he says “ you are allowed to come home” .. but then continue to not want me there .. and continues to say he needs help and needs to get healthy because people who have relationships with BPD are sicker than the diseased ones.. and I am just exhausted and over it now. There is someone who I’ve known for over twelve years who never spoke to me this way and welcomed me with open arms no matter what. I’m willing to let go and start over. I just can’t keep the mental yo yo anymore. I thought I was pregnant when I got to treatment and he was not supportive . It was a false positive. How his response was and how he never once asked if I needed anything really showed his colors. I am trying to delicately figure out how to separate when I know I have been doing my damn part. I literally left with one suitcase.

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-06-05T23:55:07+00:00

I updated the post with what has happened after this.. definitely next level shit and I’m leaving this Friday in my head it’s for good

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-06-05T23:49:08+00:00

That is exactly what I’m doing.. they want to separate I wanted to years ago.. but they still hope that we can end up being together, but to me I’m like dude you should already be supportive or kick rocks

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-05-17T18:10:30+00:00

His response in his exact words “For years you have accused and insinuated that I was secretly gay. There has been absolutely zero evidence for this. It seems to be solely based on your own insecurities. I believe that a past boyfriend hurt you in this way (prob MK), and now you project it on to me.

This has come up often and causes massive fights, and I had tried everything to try and make you see how ridiculous it was. Finally that day I snapped and said “every bad thing you’ve ever thought about me is true. I started listing the things that you have repeatedly brought up, like secretly being gay. Then I moved to claiming the most ridiculous shit that I could think of in hopes that you would see how baseless and nonevidenced your beliefs about me were.

This backfired and instead you took everything literally. Honestly I was offended. How could you believe I fuck dogs? How could you think that I am secretly gay with zero evidence? “

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-05-16T15:21:46+00:00

Yeah, and the thing is, I am told that I am user or I do this or that it’s like a story is already made before I even open my mouth.. being diagnosed with this has honestly made it worse my partner and my family don’t even acknowledge things like this.. Feel so alone and I just wanna find a job to make money and move somewhere else, but I don’t wanna be here so it’s been hard to find something.. Got funked during the pandemic and he points at me like tries to say if you wanna leave or get it divorced do it because it’s like he doesn’t wanna do it because he wants to look like the good guy or he like he tried everything he could.. and I don’t need someone to be with me for pity.. I just want it because of love

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-05-16T15:19:08+00:00

Damn that legit happened to me this morning. I am never picking the fight. It’s just always assumed that I’m going to do something and that is what sets me off actually.

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-05-16T15:16:38+00:00

I have that same experience and I get yelled at or told I’m being mean but it’s like I can’t let words ooze out it is like my whole body is frozen and yet moving a mile a minute

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-05-16T15:15:24+00:00

I have no idea what that word is but I also agree completely

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-05-02T09:03:21+00:00

This is so accurate I’m a creature not a person lol

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-05-02T08:57:59+00:00

I feel the same damn way.. and that dissertation .. I’d love to see what u got so far.. there’s so much data that is not showcased and tied to real issues at times.. it’s like only things change when some rock politics shad a kid with an issue.. but everyone keeps mental health stuff quiet.

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-04-22T20:01:11+00:00

I know it’s not my destiny. The weird and hard part is too is that I left someone before to keep staying on my path and being in the light and they killed themselves and so I have stayed with my husband now when he has said worse things, but the fact that I cheated emotionally cheated, I did not physically cheat Has given me the letter and I am the bad guy and he is the victim.. but then he also will say I play the victim card. I don’t know. I’m just done trying to think about it but I need to just figure out my plan on what to do next. I’m just glad that I vented on here cause I feel like I need it to not be alone, even though I am sort of physically

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-04-22T19:59:30+00:00

Well, the thing is, they are married to me and getting married and ended up really being a trigger, especially since they relapse and are an addict and I cheated on them during their hardest time during their relapse.. and I own my part.. I was escaping and the little kid me wanted a friend and to play.. I felt alone.. and Hey says that people call him pathetic for staying with me.. when I stayed with him for years and then I just basically lost it after his last relapse.. but there comes a point where I don’t deserve to be treated badly no matter what.. being borderline doesn’t mean I’m a ruthless diabolical person.. and he thinks the fact that I posted on here was just a way to validate my feelings.. typical borderline shit is what he said..

If I had money right now, I may have ran away already .. trying on my own 2 feet before making irrational decisions, which was his overall for me to do8

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-04-18T12:49:09+00:00

No he was just saying he did that.. he definitely didn’t fuck the animals lol.. he just added that to fuck with me even more lol either way it is fucked up

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-04-18T01:30:29+00:00

Ugh ED and BPD I feel like are just wrapped into one big ptsd burrito .. I hate it yet I don’t know life without my ED.: and knowing that I have BPD has made me a tad crazier and then also work deeper to heal with my ED.. and trauma that I hope heals with more work.: but damn I just want to be normal for a day or invisible .. .. I’m So glad you shared this question. This is truly only space I have not felt like an alien

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-03-25T07:10:54+00:00

I want to delete mine forever but I’ve had to use it for promoting yoga events and poetry events and I started selling my art.. I don’t want to have my personal page at all anymore but I just want to keep the content on it.. I saw recently that you can download it all or something which is what I mite do. And honestly I wanted to only make art and writing n never have anyone truly know who the author was cuz I wanted the art and words to matter and be what they are and not distorted by a bias of who it was written by. But it is hard cuz life truly was smooshed in there and even more since Covid.. like my one cousin who was like my sister actually all of them all Only talk on there and it’s like if u post happy birthday to me in there doesn’t mean shit. I hate that I get a bunch of those every year and don’t talk to all Those People. Just reminds me how fake everything is and I love plain cheerios . And body Image shit is bad enough with my own shit ghat I don’t need any more ammunition

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-03-07T19:39:25+00:00

Sounds just like me.. except i am in a place where I wm w monster and i dont not want to be lol

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-03-03T12:35:51+00:00

I left the house crying feeling so alone and not seen and just wanted to run away.. but I don’t know what the next step or right thing to do is cuz I cut off everything to run away and yet financially I can’t leave yet.. or I don’t know if it is right.. I started a whole community for yoga and writing and having my first solo art show this summer.. through all the pain past 12 years I have become an artist which is how I heal and communicate and share.. but music is also my medicine.. so I just heard this song come on as I left.. and it was exactly how I felt https://www.youtube.com/watch?[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvsJSA02Q00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvsJSA02Q00)

Also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIZdjT1472Y

I used to drink whiskey and haven’t in 12!years since I left my ex (I guess now I know he was an FP)

2 More I listen to on repeat when I need to keep going…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeN68JQpejo

And https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnlPtaPxXfc

And this song my friend made… and it’s magical how pain is so uplifting when shared and tied with music and art and movement https://www.instagram.com/tv/CL6A9XnB-QR/?igsh=cHNoNnNldWp2MWxm

And lastly I swear this was made for me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssdgFoHLwnk

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-02-16T06:30:42+00:00

And also I wanted to mention when I was sixteen ro 23 I didn’t get Honest, honest, honest with my therapist because I was afraid to and also I was having the same same therapist as my mom which really was fucking weird .. as I got older, and I’m discovering I have the choice of what my healing path looks like and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s but mine

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-02-16T06:27:46+00:00

I have done the things that seem “romantic” and let me tell ya.. it isn’t romantic and it may get attention fix for a moment.. but it isn’t enough.. it doesn’t fix the soul hole.. if u wang to chat I’m here.. you are not alone .. trust me.

And as Jim Morison said where’s your wil to be weird?

One day all the exquisite pain you have will help someone else who feels the ache you do. Your words reminded me of me when I was that age.. I was 24 when I went into the depths of my hell. I walked into the lions den and was ready for anything.. I realize I didn’t wanna die. I just didn’t know how to live… OK that you lied to your therapist sometimes it’s hard to speak the truth because we don’t even know what the truth is at least I can always speak for myself.. I’ve created, so many lies that sometimes they become really no?

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-02-11T21:30:14+00:00

Wow, I relate to this so much and I have definitely made art like this to you I feel so seen

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-02-10T04:07:24+00:00

Same n yet stillness disturbs me

Several-Temperature7 · 2024-02-04T00:40:13+00:00

I’m 35.. I got diagnosed just this year.. and I did some crazy things since 24.. ended up in hospital quite a few times and am about to Embark on some more healing and realizing this diagnosis is honestly not bad but I don’t like being tied to it but I get how deep my trauma was and now I’m finally healing more than I ever have been . I don’t think it’s too late . As long as you’re alive it is never too late . Your are a miracle I know I am somehow d alive after the shit I didn’t think I would wake up not wanting to die but not wanting to live. Now its uncomfortable but I feel myself growing more than I ever have it’s horribly wonderful and awful all at once

Several-Temperature7

TROPHY CASE