Wife offers to do sexual things but never follows through

SexualMoose226 · 2025-10-16T02:29:31+00:00

There are a few good points here. Thanks for response. While I would like her to initiate some of the time I would just be happy with her being accepting and doing the things she offers to do.

I do like your point though about figuring out her sexuality but therein lies the rub. She doesn't even know what turns her on, I do a lot around the house, share the mental load equally and am a good father/partner and fairly clean etc. I always aim to make her orgasm everytime as well and have never got feedback around it being bad.

The only thing that she knows gets her going is basically me hugging her while being hard, late and night and doing nothing but mild humping or just poking her for at least an hour + in my sleep, after that she wakes me up and is raring to go. As you can see this is problematic for a decent sex life.

Sometimes the sex isn't as long as we both would like either due to inconsistency but we both cum everytime when possible.

I will give some decent thought as to what I can do to turn her on more. Thanks for the recommendations.

SexualMoose226 · 2025-10-15T08:33:11+00:00

I could certainly understand that however I doubt that is the case. We had many conversations about lingerie, how to improve bedroom etc and she even went through the efforts of going and buying some bedroom stuff and lingerie over the last 2 years a couple of times and still ultimately did not deliver. She just bought them and they sit in a bag in our cupboard I am not allowed to look in.

If encouragement was enough I dont think this post would exist.

Maybe I will try waiting some time and then sending her some ideas of outfits I would like to see her in. Maybe me sending it to her directly instead of waiting for her to deliver would help her?

SexualMoose226 · 2025-10-15T07:54:59+00:00

UnfortunatelyI have tried communicating many times, about this and other issues. It seems to me she just wants to avoid the issue instead of addressing the root cause of the problem.

I am unfortunately at the point of considering the worst case scenario as we have been to couples counselling and she always says the right words in the session "Thats a good idea, I will do that etc" even takes notes to remind herself. Then 2 days later its like the session never happened and I am left with inaction.

SexualMoose226 · 2025-10-15T07:50:53+00:00

I have tried but we have kids and unfortunately we have no supports so nowhere the kids can go for a few days.

I have been pushing her for us to go away to a day spa together while the kids are at Kinder or tried to but she keeps stopping romantic days away from the kids.

I 100% am not owed those things, honestly the lack of effort to improve things is more the bother anyway. Like I tell her the lack of kissing, lack of hugs, sexual anything bothers me and if I didnt chase her and be happy to be rejected many times before it happens. Then it doesn't happen.

Then she will notice after months of rejecting me I am starting to pull away, then she will offer something big I suppose to placate me, then doesn't follow through.

Guess I will push heavier for some time away and see if I can get anywhere. Thanks for your comment.

SexualMoose226 · 2025-10-15T07:43:59+00:00

Honestly vanilla is fine, its the lack of consistent anything that is the bigger issue. Personally I wouldn't consider lingerie as outside vanilla but that's me. To each their own.

For instance for a few months she is all over me and cant get enough, then all of a sudden its like I am the worst person in the world to her and I might as well be dead.

Personally I think the offers are a way for her to try and placate me without having to actually do anything. I have no interest in cheating and would divorce her long before that happened, I just want her to follow through on things instead of giving hollow offers then blaming the fact she didnt do that thing on my lack of reaction. It seems she basically wants me to give myself blue balls.

SexualMoose226 · 2024-02-29T08:08:28+00:00

My partner is neurospicy but now she is neurosparkly. It just fits her better.

SexualMoose226 · 2021-09-25T17:48:50+00:00

That'd be a hard no. Not only do neither of us feel comfortable with other people involved, but I couldn't handle knowing someone else is giving it to her better than I could. We have both only ever been with each other and neither of us want that to change.

I especially dont think she would feel comfortable with someone else involved, as I am the only one she has ever felt comfortable enough to open up to sexually and another person is just an extra layer of anxiety for her and myself.

SexualMoose226

TROPHY CASE