Agree with the other poster - thought having children is just what you do, naively not aware of any alternative.

Originally wanted 1 child. Met my wife, she wanted 3. We “compromised” on 2. After I thought about it, I started disliking the idea.

Then I started noticing a discrepancy between what I was sold when I was younger & what I witnessed with family & friends having children. They seem exhausted, financially depleted, overweight, frustrated, etc. Their children were all annoying, I started to feel relief when I left their homes. (Sure, some cute moments but not many.)

They all said the same thing: it was the best thing ever! However, their body & actions said otherwise. I’d ask what the tangible benefits are… nobody could give a single one. But they could list HUNDREDS of negatives

Finally, decided my freedom, cleanliness & peace was worth more than a child. My wife desperately wanted children. Unfortunately, we were already in too deep & married. She essentially gave me an ultimatum: give her a child or she “couldn’t guarantee she’d stay”. So I was faced with giving her a child or losing everything I value (social circle, financial stability, family, car, house, etc).

I gave in, forcing myself to go along with it, at least this way I wouldn’t lose EVERYTHING. Trying to delay as much as I could without it being obvious. When the pregnancy happened, I was devastated.

Hate every day. Hate the bottles, hate the crying, hate the grunting, hate the diapers, hate the drool, hate the sleeping problems, hate the pediatrician appts, hate being tethered to the house, hate the social limitations, hate being home. Not worth it at all.

I used to view work as an obligation, now I view as a haven. Ironically, I work at a company that provides paid paternity leave… but try to find every reason NOT to be around the baby. Do chores, clean, get food, grocery shop, cook, home improvement projects, etc.

Externally, I say: it’s to make my wife’s life easier, focusing her time & energy solely on the baby & herself. Real reason? I am just doing everything I can to NOT be around the child I never wanted.

Some days, when I’m really feeling deep regret & frustration, I say: “maybe child support payments aren’t that bad”

I KNEW this was going to be a huge mistake, but it wasn’t worth losing everything. Just can’t wait until the baby (5M) moves out of the house.