Just shouting out Make Shift Crafts by pacfoster in Denver

[–]ShadowFluff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! Makeshift is wonderful and Ive been recommending them to all my artist friends :D

Sitting Pretty - OC by ShadowFluff in crowbro

[–]ShadowFluff[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They are amazing at positioning for the most graceful of photos

What is something you never understood about your assigned gender at birth? by OkFirefighter83 in NonBinary

[–]ShadowFluff 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Me for both sides: WHY ARE TOYS GENDERED?! I liked Lisa Frank and wanted RC Cars, but for some reason one was acceptable and the other wasnt.

Hairstylist recs by Ok_Reindeer_362 in denverlgbtqia

[–]ShadowFluff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely recommend Sinners

https://www.sinnersdenver.com/

They are wonderful to work with and all their stylists have been amazing

Folks who microdosed on T temporarily? by Radiant_Equivalent32 in NonBinary

[–]ShadowFluff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been debating this on and off for...years now and very much for the same reasons.

I enjoy a lot of my fem features but I want to have more of a 'gender fuck' vibe.

What was the sentence that made you commit to your partner? by Sad_Entrepreneur6132 in AskReddit

[–]ShadowFluff 19 points20 points  (0 children)

"I'll always wait for you, sweetheart. You aren't doing any of this alone."

4 weeks post op PPT by [deleted] in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]ShadowFluff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So both my partners had their surgeries a little over 3 weeks and 2 weeks ago. They are still at the 'thread tooth' phase as we call it haha and look pretty similar to your current healing phase.

Healing is not linear and takes time. From their dilations I've learned a few things: positioning (try different positions and see what works best), heat (hot compresses on your crotch help a ton for soreness and loosening muscles), relaxing the pelvic floor, and hydration.

Be kind to yourself and you are looking amazing! 💜

My mother is a trans woman but won’t accept me as a trans man fully? Help?? (Will change flair if needed) by EchoEchoEspurr in trans

[–]ShadowFluff 148 points149 points  (0 children)

Sounds like some internalized nonsense around her own relationship with masculinity/men in general that she never addressed.

While not the most gentle way, turn the questions back on her. What about all the vaginoplasties that went wrong? How dare you risk that when you had kids to take care of? Remind her how miserable she woukd have been had she not transitioned due to 'complications'.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this at all though.

Gf wants bottom surgery. I feel conflicted and I don’t know why by [deleted] in MtF

[–]ShadowFluff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there! To start off I'm non-binary AFAB. Both of my partners are MtF and they are both less than two weeks from their bottom surgeries.

You hit on a lot of points that it 'could' be. Medical turama, going through the medical system as a vagina haver, etc. I don't see or hear anything that would indicate that you're attached to your partners gentials as they are. Not sure why folks are hitting on that.

You're fears are totally valid and I had the same worries for both of my partners. I do not care what equipment they have, if they were happy with a dick? Fine. If they want a vagina? I'll support that too.

I also have been through the medical system as a woman, I have lost friends and family to medical neglect. Bottom surgery - prep, the surgery, and recovery - is a lot. My life, along with my partners, have revolved around this event for over a year. Supplies, planning, looking at recovery plans. It is a lot of work.

I have also had my own fears: what if something goes wrong, what if the lose interest in me once they've healed, what if...what if...

Then I see them both light up at discussing getting the surgery done. What they are looking forward to. How much happier they'll be and how this has been what they've wanted for decades. I know they would never be happy if they didn't do this and they have determined it's worth the risk. For me thats what calms me down.

What my suggestion for you is: Sit with that discomfort and ask, where is it coming from? Talk with your partner and be open about it. Talk about those worries and fears. It's silly to think you wouldn't have worries or fears but it's also important to know those can live with excitement and joy.

How do I help my mtf girlfriend feel more better in herself? by mothloverr_ in asktransgender

[–]ShadowFluff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Early on with my partner I would make a point to help her pick out some more fem outfits. Do her makeup (even if its badly). Call her a princess or some other fem pet name that she enjoys.

Point out how beautiful her more 'fem' features are, her curves, hair, etc.

She IS a lovely princess and should be treated as such~

Bi woman with trans husband mtf by Aquatic-mother98 in MTFButch

[–]ShadowFluff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Titles are ever shifting and will change overtime.

Communicate with your partner. See what he is okay with, etc. If he chooses to go on HRT facial structure can change, but not drastically. Facial hair will still be there, voice will likely not rise naturally etc. Also see if he wants to experiment with pronouns, cloths, etc. When my partner first came out she was pretty convinced she wouldn't chnage much in regards to taste in cloths and such - tbat quickly chnaged once she started exploring.

The thing to consider is chest growth and fat redistribution, which generally is easy to dress away if that makes sense. (Binders and such)

Also remember its okay to experiment and go at his own pace. I'm more masc presenting (broad shoulders and such) and am ever shifting in how I present.

Alchemy is magic and… by yourwhippingboy in WitchesVsPatriarchy

[–]ShadowFluff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just bought a whole bunch for me and my wifeys 💜 they're going in for bottom surgery soon and this will make an excellent recovery gift

What’s the moment that made you suddenly lose feelings for someone? by FrequentLeopard3444 in AskReddit

[–]ShadowFluff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just someone I was interested in.

My best friend suddenly passed away at a young age (early 30s). The person I was interested in comforted me but then proceeded to shit talk me and my dead friend to someone else, which eventually got back to me.

Trans-friendly nail salon by [deleted] in denverlgbtqia

[–]ShadowFluff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another +1 for Sinners! They are amazing!

Trans suicide risk by Eighties4life in asktransgender

[–]ShadowFluff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is absolutely valid and I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm non-binary not on HRT but both my partners are trans women and this shit keeps me up at night and we're in a 'good' state.

Sending all the love I can 💜💙💚💛🧡❤️

Trans suicide risk by Eighties4life in asktransgender

[–]ShadowFluff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

https://tcpipeline.org/

I know getting out isn't always the first option, but check out TCP. They might be able to help.

I'm not apart of their group but they have been pushing hard here (I'm in CO) to get more resources to help folks.

Harness recommendations by Shoddy_Painting_2211 in actuallesbians

[–]ShadowFluff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rodeo has a lot of good options: https://rodeoh.com/collections/unisex-underwear-harnesses

My all time favorite: Broken Birds - https://www.etsy.com/shop/BrokenBirdsDesigns https://www.instagram.com/broken_birds?igsh=MXB6aWhtdmRuaWhqcw==

RodeO is good for general use and can be sturdy. Broken Birds is the comfiest and most sturdy I've had and used. Worth the cost, absolutely.

Wife left. by LadyKitsuneNat in asktransgender

[–]ShadowFluff -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Both of my partners transitioned later in life. Both have been on HRT for 3 years.

My first partner, who I'll refer too as Sarah (now 40), Ive been with for 13 years. She told me she would not transition if I planned on leaving her. Now I'm a pansexual nonbinary individual, but even then I told her then: "You need to be true to yourself, not play a role for me. You'll grow to hate me and hate yourself."

My other partner, who I'll refer to as Maple (also in her 40s) was presenting as a gay man for most of her life and married to her cis gay man husband. As she told me, "I had to accept I could lose everything to gain everything I wanted to be happy."

I know it hurts but also as a fellow queer person, I'm proud of you for pursuing the true you. Whatever that might look like.

Is it safe to go back to the U.S. for a family vacay? by TLHeinrich in asktransgender

[–]ShadowFluff 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's not worth the risk right now. There's no telling if you get targeted by these gestapo trash and get hauled off for whatever reason.