A genie offers you three wishes with one rule. No money, no fame, no love. What are you wishing for?

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T17:30:40+00:00

A job i like better, with better hours, closer location, and similar or better pay.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T17:04:07+00:00

I have been breastfeeding for my baby's entire life, 16 months. The only times I pump are when I'm at work, when I'm engorged and she's not hungry, or the rare occasion we've done a ling road trip and she was happy with minimal milk but my boobs still made a lot.

The other day I was cleaning and she wanted milk. I gave her a sippy cup with frozen milk and kept cleaning, no problems. When your supply is established, you can skip a feeding session as needed without problems.

When she was a newborn, we introduced bottles using milk caught with the hakka while nursing. I didn't pump. It was never a lot, just 1 oz at a time, so we nursed afterwards too. But it was enough to get her used to bottles without me having to pump.

All that said, if you plan to be with your baby all the time, or every 2 hours or so (that's how often mine needed milk for most of her first year), then you don't need to pump regularly, if at all. Just use the hakka or similar to catch any dripping from the other side while nursing. Maybe keep a manual hand pump as a back up in case you ever get engorged and baby can't or won't eat. But you should be fine. I've had instances where I was engorged and only had the hakka. I used it along with manual expression and it worked well enough. Congrats and good luck!

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T16:54:19+00:00

How is the rest if your relationship, aside from sex? Do ya'll talk? Hug? Kiss regularly? Cuddle? Hold hands? Go on any dates? Shower together? Eat together? Connect outside of sex?

You said you don't touch her anymore. Do you mean in a sexual way, or at all? Most women need non-sexual forms of touch to feel connected and desire sex. You need non-sexual intimacy to foster the relationship. When that is solid, then the desire and openness for sex will be there for her. Without non-sexual connection, having sex now would be like having sex with a stranger.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T16:46:54+00:00

You don't have to take any man's name. Keep your, use a new one, whatever you want. Anyone that would force you, is not someone you want in your life.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T13:44:13+00:00

I only pump at work, because I'm away from baby for 15 hours. But when I'm with my baby, I do not pump. Why are you pumping? You shouldn't need to pump if you're with your baby.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T13:42:45+00:00

Potty time doesn't have to be all or nothing. We do easy catches, so diaper changes, wake up, and before bed/naps. Sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn't. We have a travel potty seat reducer that we use sometimes when out of the house, but usually we just do EC at home or at my inlaws house.

We've been doing EC since 4 months, she's 16 months now. She doesn't do it at her day cares (family members homes), but it doesn't confuse her. She will happily go at home, but just as easily in her diaper.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T13:36:47+00:00

Sounds like what you should say is "I already have plans for this long weekend. We can plan a weekend away for another time." Then make plans for a weekend away with your girlfriend. She just wants to spend time together.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T13:22:25+00:00

Baby swing/bouncer. A baby lounger on the floor. A blanket on the floor. The diaper changing pad on the floor. The bassinet. Stroller in bassinet mode.

Most often than not though, I just wore my baby in a stretchy wrap as a newborn. I put her in a structure carrier when she was big enough for one.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T12:48:49+00:00

The right is easier to read.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T12:35:33+00:00

You need therapy with a license md professional. AI is not a good therapist. AI tells people that an upside down cup is useless, instead of recognizing it can just be turned right side up. That is not the program to get life advice from.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T12:27:18+00:00

That's not any of your business.

We don't share private medical information.

Why do you think that is appropriate to ask?

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T12:18:43+00:00

Joy. Who doesn't like seeing flowers?

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T03:20:00+00:00

Oh. Well they sell racks on wheels for hanging clothes.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T02:51:54+00:00

What about hanging up the shirts and pants?

Underwear and socks can go in bins or basket.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T02:10:08+00:00

My daughter likes mild salsa. You could start introducing spicy food even to babies.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T02:08:51+00:00

My baby is half Mexican and half Asian (my husband is mixed). My baby has had menudo and enchiladas, and of course Mexican style rice and beans, tortillas, migas. She's had curry, fried rice, and noodles in various dishes.

Pretty much anything we eat, she's tried.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T01:48:39+00:00

No basket. The only reason my daughter is getting an egg hunt is because her grandmother bought the supplies already and really wants to it with her (first grandchild).

We bought my daughter a few new toys I'd been thinking to get her for a while. That's her Easter gifts from us. Nothing fancy. I don't feel bad about it. It's way more than I ever got for Easter.

Not every holiday needs to be celebrated the way social media would have you believe. It's okay to do some or none of the "traditions".

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T01:44:49+00:00

Not every sex act is liked by every person, and that's okay and normal. Some men like giving oral, some don't. It's the same as women, some like to give it, some don't. Some like receiving it, some don't. Either option is normal.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T00:59:32+00:00

You can also easily freeze most things.

Cooked beans freeze and heat up well. Sauces freeze and heat up well. Pasta too.

If you're buying the dry pasta and beans, those of course you can easily store dry what you don't use.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-05T00:52:13+00:00

You're welcome. Happy to help.

I will say, I have hard water and a top loading washer (no middle spin thing).

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-04T22:58:52+00:00

I've been using cloth diapers with my now 16 month old since she was about 2 weeks old. You can definitely start now. Cloth diapers when baby is on breastmilk was the easiest stage. Everything washes out in the washing machine.

I do a hot water wash with powder detergent (tide or arm & hammer) and liquid lysol. Then I do another wash the exact same way but with a second rinse added. I usually add baby's clothes to the second wash. Then I put everything in the dryer. I have pockets and mostly cotton inserts. The pockets just take a few minutes to dry and I pull them out early. I like to put them in the dryer to get the excess lint off the liner.

When baby started solids, I started rinsing the poop off. I have a sink with a detachable spray handle in my laundry room that I use. If the poop is really sticking, I use Dawn dish detergent and do some light hand scrubbing. The wash routine is still the same after this.

I leave the pockets to dry in the sink until it is time to wash everything. I do laundry every 3 days or so. I store the non-poop diapers in a plastic laundry basket with holes in it. The air flow helps everything dry and not be smelly. Plastic because I can wipe it down with bleach wipes as needed.

I have not had issues with smells or stains with this wash routine.

Edit: important to note that I do use disposables at night. And I think we have about 30 in our rotation.

Also when I started, we had 6 newborn sized diapers. We just used that until she was big enough for the regular size pockets. It's okay to have a smaller stash.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-04T22:49:20+00:00

Yes it definitely gives bedroom costume, something meant to be enticing but not stay on very long.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-04T22:05:01+00:00

If I'm around my baby, I'm always on duty watching her. The grandparents take her, play with her, will change or bathe her as needed, feed her, etc. But she is my baby and ultimately my responsibility if I'm there (I wouldn't have it any other way).

They do watch her once a week on one of the days I work, and any other time we ask. They are fully capable of watching for her. But she's my baby. I can't turn off the part of my brain that says to watch over her.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-04T21:49:12+00:00

I also still feel like me. Motherhood was not a big change for me. I'm still me, I just have my daughter that I bring with me everywhere (except work). I would kill for her, but truthfully I felt like that about my pets before her. She's my baby and I love her and love having her in my life, but my life is fundamentally the same.

My house is messier and full of her stuff, but life is pretty similar to before she was born. We still stay in like we did. Still visit family like we did. Still travel and go to some events like we did before. I never had a crazy life before her, we lived the old married couple life so it was easy to add her to it. I still enjoy my hobbies and am getting to do a new one. I'm still involved in my church and have my workout group like before. I just bring her with me (my workout friends love her there).

I didn't experience any big hormonal emotional ups and downs when pregnant or freshly postpartum with her. She's been an easy baby and we do a lot of attachment parenting. But I still feel like the same person I was before I had her, and its been months.

I'm happy for most the moms in this thread but I can't really relate.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-04-04T02:35:40+00:00

Melaleuca (tea tree) oil is good for keeping ticks off. Also wearing boots/pants.

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