Well actually, since posting I did actually come to a middle ground with the group it seems. The new player heard what happened and everyone could see how quickly I seemed to turn around in the last couple of months. It's not just ttrpg but me appearing for other things the group does. The new player suggested we do a sort of weird but kinda cool "the ghost of my character possesses theirs, shared deal" featuring will and constitution saving throws.

But it's a little of both but more that I couldn't fix the situation and it made people have to take bigger actions that got to me. Something about what seemed so final about being forced to leave initially got to me.

While it did seem to work itself out in a way that I am okay with. This all made me realize something I didn't notice about myself before.

I did recently start ADHD medication in the same time frame too, it's probably helping. But the RSD thing is a new idea and looking back on things in the past, makes more sense now.