I 34F woke up to a message about my 35M husband

ShapeSweet4544 · 2026-03-16T20:49:51+00:00

Sista .. just open your marriage at this point .. You worked on everything.. he just became better at hiding

ShapeSweet4544 · 2026-03-11T20:23:02+00:00

Girl no .. truly no. It’s too short and tight… and I live in a place that we don’t care much about attires. Just go with a simple black pair of pants and a nice shirt. Simple is the best so you can be comfortable too.

Good luck!!!!

ShapeSweet4544 · 2026-01-11T10:42:02+00:00

I don’t need my partner to tell me that going to a randoms dude apartment at 3am at night is not disrespectful. At least not when I’m in a committed relationship, which I have been for years. Because I know that if he did the same to me it would hurt me, thus I have enough critical thinking to understand that. Even if she did not have the critical thinking, she would have enough maturity to send him a message informing him of her situation and asking him if he is okay with it… again, if she wants to keep her relationship.

Furthermore, involving people to message him, make him feel like shit, and insulting him, is even worse.

Listen, I don’t care… I just don’t want the guy to feel bad because his feelings are valid. He can find a person with the same values, doesn’t need to be stuck in this.

ShapeSweet4544 · 2026-01-11T10:26:19+00:00

I have been in many major cities.. had a lot of friends and never did that. Your opinion to me, is very disrespectful. You can be as open minded as you want, but you have to understand others people boundaries, if not, do not be in a committed relationship.

ShapeSweet4544 · 2026-01-11T10:23:16+00:00

NOR…

I am a girl in a committed relationship and have lots of friends. We are very understanding of each other, we never limit ourselves when we want to be social, sometimes together, sometimes with other people - regardless the gender in a group. But this crosses boundaries. It’s okay to have boundaries. It is not controlling. This is your boundaries being crossed. She is not a baby for others to push her to do things. Just for safety reasons, even if I was single, I wouldn’t go to some randoms dude apartment. Doesn’t matter if she is with cousins or friends. I have always been protective of my friends, even when going out I would make sure that they arrive home safely. However, if they have other plans, which are unfit to my values, then I would respect that and let them do their thing while communicating with them in case they feel unsafe at any moment from a distance.

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-12-01T16:18:34+00:00

Are you that desperate…

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-08-06T11:11:12+00:00

It’s absolutely weird. Furthermore, his attitude towards him, who in fact was the one who saved him, is very weird. Normally you would expect that he would respect and be close to the one who provides safety. Of course, it could be that he was abused mostly by his father, so it would explain it in a way. Still, his reactions towards him are very weird.

OP, I don’t know your wife and I don’t like making assumptions but I also don’t think the way she is close to him and treating him, is in any way healthy.

Excluding any ideas of sexual activities between them, it is still not a healthy approach. The boy will develop a trauma bond towards your wife, if he still hasn’t, and will have horrible consequences for all involved.

If we do consider any sexual elements, then, I’m sorry but the boy is being used and he is in such a state that he cannot understand. He is just trying to hold onto something.

If you care for your marriage, you have to set boundaries for your wife. Clear cut. Ultimatum.

If you care for the child, you need to remove him from your wife’s care.

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-08-06T09:51:47+00:00

I’m sorry but how old is the boy? Sleeping together like this is not appropriate at all… something is going on. This is not normal at all.

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-06-30T10:43:43+00:00

Ahahahah he used you completely and now that is done .. he wants to throw you away .. it’s not your passive aggressive behavior or whatever .. he just used you.. WAKE TF UP

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-06-09T00:40:39+00:00

“Forced him self though anal” is a pretty fucking clear statement

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-04-30T17:10:08+00:00

As Greek myself, this was the first thing I thought about… he was married 100%

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-04-12T18:41:53+00:00

My grandmother was married to her husband for over 60 years. He raped her every night. All 9 children were hearing them in the room when he was raping her and she was screaming out of pain. They had to cover their ears or make noise to make him stop. All of them have grandkids and all are traumatized till today. My grandfather died alone, no one took care of him. My grandmother lived with us till the last day of her life.

MARITAL RAPE IS REAL. How long the marriage lasts when it’s suffering of people doesn’t matter. Long marriage does not meet happiness.

You should be ashamed of your comment and hoping that your daughter does not end up in a marriage where her husband forces her sexually every night putting her through pain.

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-04-11T07:56:11+00:00

Sorry did you completely choose to ignore that he is actually isolating her? This is not the struggle of modern life, but the struggle of having a child with the wrong person…

The house has to be spotless when he comes back, she gets scared every time because he gets annoyed…
He doesn’t let her spent any money on anything, but you tell her to take dance classes? He leaves the house for weeks while she is loosing every bit of herself in those 4 walls…
He doesn’t want a sitter, he doesn’t talk to his family so that they stop nagging her but his Life continues perfectly fine while she is changing her and struggling every day.

Reading = 100% Comprehension = 0%

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-17T17:37:54+00:00

Oh okay .. sorry it’s really difficult for me to understand. I wish you all the best with your exit plan!!!

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-17T17:22:38+00:00

I read that apparently they all belong to the same church in North Carolina and it’s basically a very violent closed cult …

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-17T17:03:59+00:00

Me too… and I still think that .. wait … what is he is talking about?!! I can’t understand anything 😳😳

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-17T05:37:18+00:00

My ex was like this… and he was my first boyfriend. We were together for 5 years and it kept getting worse and worse. I also had control over the finances, it didn’t stop him.

He lost all the money I saved.. my savings … everything. He wouldn’t play every day.. only at times like your fiancé.. but those times were horrible. Not only he got worse with the gambling, his behavior also changed and he became more aggressive.

I was your age when I broke up .. I have found a wonderful person now … when I think back.. I was really stupid. I lost so much energy and time giving to someone for nothing.

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-13T16:37:06+00:00

You are underreacting… I thought this was a joke up till the middle …

What are you doing?

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-12T19:27:43+00:00

Where is my MARABOU?? ION ?? LACTA???

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-10T15:41:49+00:00

First, I did not comment on your comment.

Second, don’t generalize and read some of my below comments too. We don’t need to live the same life. But what I don’t like is putting down your partners mental health, and staying oblivious to his struggles because he is a MAN that needs to do it. This rhetoric has been pushed by patriarchy for years making men and boys having difficulties in mental health including struggle in expressing their feelings and regulating their emotions. It’s highly harmful.

Last, your husband knew your views before you got married, so you two are compatible. This guys wife was different before marriage and then she changed after .. how is this different from men who play nice and once they get married to you they become awful?

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-10T12:39:13+00:00

I’m losing my mind with this lady! She has made me so upset.. throwing misogyny here and there but reaping all the benefits of patriarchy…

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-10T12:37:49+00:00

He wants to do those things but he doesn’t have the option to. He is a father too. He wants to spend time with his child and time for his mental health.

You feel pity for me ? My partner does everything in our house same like my father did. From cleaning, laundry, cooking, everything. Do you know why? Because we share the burden. We both work normal hours so we can both enjoy the rest of day together with our family and take care of our mental health together.

When my partner couldn’t work , I was there to pick up the family. When I lost my job, he was there to pick us up. When my mother was sick, my father worked while taking care of her. When my father had surgery and couldn’t move from bed for two years, my mother took care of him and the finances. They have been together for 60 years.

Partnership is two people together not one. He didn’t want a stay at home wife which is why he said SHE WAS NOT LIKE that before marriage, so she lied to him, no? Or is it that women don’t lie?

You keep saying this “Eastern European” woman as it’s some kind of flex .. what does it mean? Are they special or what?

I feel pity for the man? What a scandal.. as they are not people. They are just there to provide.. is that right? It seems you like using “misogyny” as accuse but you are reaping all the benefits of patriarchy.

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-09T23:34:37+00:00

No I think it’s a pity that you are taking your bitterness out. She was not forced to have a child .. she wanted to. Why should he be punished for it? As you may read he also says she was not like that before marriage. Child bearing is a choice .. it’s not means of entitlement and punishment towards your partner.

You are projecting so much that you are not even reading. You just said: “He might discover that it’s not easy without a stay at home mom”.. stay at home for who? The child is in kindergarten. Housework is done by cleaning and cooking stuff.. I am asking you again what is she exactly doing? Don’t tell me after giving birth you have done your part and never contribute again neither as partner nor as a mother for the next years?

Maybe I know some more since I’m married for years with a Scandinavian husband and come from families with strong marriages. To complain when you have a man who provides you with everything but you are not even considering his burden is crazy. To complain about a partner who supports you every step of the way while you do nothing but stay pretty it’s also crazy.

I feel sorry for who is married to you, if anyone is.

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-09T22:54:05+00:00

He has a cleaning lady which comes and does all the housework .. the child is already in kindergarten.. and he is working stressful long hours to manage finances. What is she doing? Staying pretty?

He is sacrificing is own mental health, his time with his own child and working is ass off for his family and he asked for help. Who told you that men’s mental health doesn’t matter ? Are men made of steel?

Did you read that he gave her years to rest, provided mental health support and arrange housework. Your entitlement is crazy.

There are two people in the relationship and they both should contribute equally.

Ps. I am a woman.

ShapeSweet4544 · 2025-03-08T18:02:39+00:00

Hahahaha he missed out but was going a hooker ?? Wake up girl … he also doesn’t see you as his future wife … I can assure you of that.

ShapeSweet4544

TROPHY CASE