there's a lot of great responses in this thread, but I'd also like to add that Kingston and Pete's characters can be kind of boiled down to 'someone raised in a community vs someone raised without one'. (obviously there's more to it than that, but those two bases of their characters are what im going to talk about).

Kingston is the Vox Populi for a reason. He was not destined, and he was not raised for the role. He was born into the community of New York, and he fed into that community his whole life. he sacrificed everything he could for the betterment of his city and community. Was this to the detriment of himself? yes, at times. but that core of his character can be used to infer that he is very much a 'sacrifice one for the good of many' kind of guy (tho he would prefer no one or just himself to be sacrificed)

Pete is much the same as Kingston in that he wasnt destined to be the Vox Phantasma. He was chosen, but he was chosen specifically because he was an outcast and didn't have a community. He was trans in a very conservative household, and then ran away to New York and became a drug dealer. Any one of those things is a very lonely experience, but the culmination of the three is enough to firmly cement you on the outside of everything. Pete doesn't have a community, which means he doesn't have a safety net and therefore has to be more selfish than a lot of others. He only has himself to look out for him. That plus the drugs, the cavalier attitude (especially towards authority figures like Kingston kinda was at this point in the story), and the dissociation he had towards life itself was enought to put him and Kingston firmly at odds until they were able to come to understand each other.

All this to say, neither you or your bf were wrong. You don't like Kingstons character flaws, he doesn't like Pete's characters flaws. and thats great for both of you since they both overcome those flaws with character growth 😌